Death of a child

[Hisrose16]

We had a tragic thing happen in our family. We lost a young child, age 4, last year. Her name was Annie. She died to a disease that's most common in young children, but it's not a disease that is most heard of. She died of HLH. It's been about a year and a half since she has passed, and it still is taking a toll on our family. Mainly the I indicate family of Annie, which is my aunt and uncle. To get to my question. The family is still very depressed, and I know it's only been a year, but that was the last time I have seen them, and they live only five minutes away. There family is torn up, there son just turned ten today, but the father and mother are currently separated because of everything. I am wondering, how long it really takes to, not necessarily get back to normal because I know things will never be normal, but to get them to start getting better. I haven't seen them in so long, because she doesn't wanna see anyone, she worn even let us in the house, or answer the phone. So any helpful advice would be amazing right now. Thank you.

[Hisrose16]

My aunt, who lost the daughter, has gotta be the worse off of all of them. It was her only daughter, and the death wasn't sudden. It was developed over several months. A lot of hurt and anger happened in those months. And when she finally passed, the family was torn apart, literally. The mother and father are split up, their son, who just turned ten, is no longer in school, but she(my aunt) is homeschooling him. My aunt and uncle haven't seen each other in over a year. He is struggling to keep a job and continue to support them. Both, are angry with God. She even told my mother the other day that she hopes that one day when her and her son are driving to boyscouts, she hopes they get in a crash and die. She truly doesn't want to be on this earth. My aunt and uncle have lost their will to live. I personally think their still going on just for the sake of their son. I really wish I knew what to do. It's hard to get someone help, when they don't want it, or they never wanna see you, unless you knock on her door tell she answers, but only talks to you from the doorway, never letting you inside. I've told my mom(her sister) that she needs help. Saying you wish to die is no way to live, she needs help. But you can't force someone to get help.. Not a day goes by that I don't think of them, and miss my baby cousin. I just wish, by some miracle that she will realize she needs help. I honestly think she doesn't wanna move on, because that may seem like she is forgetting her daughter. I will never understand the pain she is going through. I have pain for the loss, but she wasn't my child, my own blood. I just need prayers.

[SMcGregor]

Overcoming grief depression over a loss of a child, family member is a difficult process. Whether the departure of a loved one is sudden, or has been anticipated over a period of time, we experience a powerful and complex range of emotions of grief – including disbelief, shock, anger, hatred, guilt, loss of faith, fear of the future, loneliness, regret. Going through this is a normal part of the grieving process and is necessary to reconcile ourselves in some way so that we can move on from the experience to become a better, stronger person with a greater sense of purpose in life as a result.

There is no doubt that time is an important component in reconciling and overcoming grief and loss. Eventually it is important to “Let go and let God” so that we can move on with life.

All the best,

[Julieann35]

Losing a child is the worst thing that could happen to a family, I thinking u are not the mother ur aunt is the mother?  My suggestion to go to her hopefully she will see you u will need to express how much you miss that part of the family.  Ask is there any way they can work with you to get through this to be able to spend time with them and be with them the way it used to be.  Also let her know how much u miss them.  Good Luck.
Julie