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Can he get full custody?

My husband and I are constantly fighting. I tell him we need to go to counseling and he says I need counseling because all of our problems are only my fault.  He's emotionally/verbally abusive. We both have history of domestic abuse with eachother. He's always threatening me that if i leave he'll kill me and other days he tells me to leave but he's gonna take our 4 month old son away from me. He works 50+ hours a week and gets about $700/week. I just finished school for medical Assisting, have no job and am currently pregnant. We Live in  idaho if that makes a difference..
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh gosh, I'm glad anniebrooke has been here to help you!  Abuse is no joke and going somewhere safe is important.  Please stay safe.  We are here if you need us and please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.  hugs
Helpful - 1
2 Comments
Thank you ! And yeah I talked to the national abuse hotline I'm working on getting away from him asap. It's sad cuz I have no faith in our marriage working out
Being sad and safe and alive is better than being hurt or dead.  Good luck, keep posting.
Avatar universal
The only place I'd be able to go is to my mom's, I don't think he'd kill me but what I'm worried about most is him keeping my son
Helpful - 0
10 Comments
Seek help from the National Abuse Hotline and a lawyer.  They will be able to tell you that this is just how men manipulate women into staying in an abusive relationship.  Ask your lawyer (he is YOUR lawyer not anyone else's and won't tell the court what you say) if there is any chance your husband would be able to carry through his threats.  Your lawyer will be able to tell you the chances.
Do you think it would be a bad idea to go the lawyer my husband has used before for traffic tickets he had to go to court for? Or should i look for someone else? His lawyer is just more convinient because it's right by my house
You might ask for a different lawyer within the same practice if you need one near your house.  Not the same one that used to represent your husband.  He might also not be a child-support specialist anyway, you need one whose specialty is family law.
Thanks so much for your advice! I'll look for places to go talk y someone soon but can't do it this week because my husband stopped working and controls who I talk to where I go and well everything.
The sooner the better, my friend, you are in a dangerous place.  On an average day doing an average-sounding activity that he doesn't want to do (such as, going to the dentist or grocery shopping) or when he is gone, move on this and at least call the abuse hotline.
It looks like he'll be going back to work tomorrow so I'll call as soon as he leaves! Thanks again so much
I'm thinking of you.  Please take this very seriously, women do wind up dead from their over-controlling spouses.

One other thing you said that might be a way to get some immediate help -- you said "I tell him we need to go to counseling and he says I need counseling because all of our problems are only my fault."  Don't refuse counseling on that basis, just say you will do just that, and go see a therapist.  He can hardly tell you not to if he is taking the position that you need counseling because all of the problems are your fault.  It will help you to get out of the house and talk to someone, and I frankly would bet he will go with you if you actually set up an appointment and head out the door to talk to her.  Find someone who posts "Family counselor" as part of their description, and he might see his way to come with you.  If you want him to.
The hotline is called the National Domestic Violence Hotline.  It's an 800 number, 799 7233 , or 799 SAFE.
Thare what I'm thinking of doing because the fighting is just escalating he saw an article in my browsing history I was reading about how to get custody of kids and stuff like that and hasn't talked to me since yesterday but we got in a fight this morning and he was yelling in front of our son which I always tell him not to do but never listens
You also need to learn to erase your browsing history.  Or look up "How to please your man" and such and leave those on your history while you erase all others.
134578 tn?1693250592
Honey, you are going to need two things, a good lawyer and somewhere to go.  The second is a problem if you think he will try to kill you, you need a REALLY safe place to go.  Is there somewhere?  Talk to your lawyer about all of this, and don't wait.
Helpful - 0

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