I can't afford going to the doctor & I don't know if I'm diabetic or not

[j_hz]

I've had hypoglycemia symptoms  for about 2-3 months unaware & when I found out I've had my sugar low for a long time I started checking my sugar & correcting it. But now from one day to another my sugar will NOT stabilize. I used to be between 70-90 now it goes from 47-198!
I feel terrible all the time.
I'm convinced I did this to myself "accidentally"
I have a severe anxiety disorder so I'm always worried & nervous & have constant panic attacks throughout  the day- I can't afford treatment
I have clinical depression
Insomnia
& I'm an extremely picky eater
& I stress eat
I don't drink water because I don't get thirsty
I think at first the stress & anxiety would make my sugar drop giving me nightmares & panic attacks.
I first had a super low blood sugar 'Attack' on Black Friday night. I showed all the symptoms (before I knew what they were) but worse. My sugar was down to 47 & had had a SEVERE panic attack the night before I had one big one & then lots of small ones every 5 minutes that only last about 3-5 minutes.
I was irritated
Grumpy
Anxious
Tired
Shaky
Nauseas
And all I wanted to do was sleep.
My boyfriend made me check my sugar (his moms machine) & it was 47. They gave me some sweets & I perked right up. That night I did a lot of research & found out I've been probably been having hypo for about 2-3 months.
3-4 days went by after my conclusion & I was taking care making sure I ate enough (I ate maybe once a day occasionally twice) & had emergency oj & candy around the house. I felt adventurous one night & decided to pig out on a burger & small fries w/oj at around 8-9pm
I woke up drenched in sweat & panicking & had to check my sugar & it was the highest I'd ever seen it, 198.
I had another panick attack because of it & probably spiked it even more.
Now my sugar won't go down. The highest it's been while I was "healthy" was 97
Last time I checked it was around June/August.
Now I wake up with 114,118,171 but never past 198-yet
2 hours fasting still high ish 108,119,121
I've made a huge change in diet, it wasn't that bad to begin with all I eat is chicken, fruits, some veggies & drink tea. I don't really eat red meat or pork & I don't eat fish
I eat fast food once a week when j see my boyfriend but it's usually chicken teriyaki, chipotle chicken bowls & sometimes tacos & club sandwiches.
I LOVE potatoes & pastries -I know bad-
But it's not everyday.
Now I eat like half a whole grain bagel, with 1/4 banana & half a tablespoon of peanut butter with green tea & water for breakfast & my sugar is still too high. It's only been since Friday night/Saturday morning since my sugar has spiked & today is Tuesday.
I can't afford any medical treatment whatsoever, not even medical or Medicaid. I don't know What's going on I've had stress & panic attacks since then. I can't eat I'm nauseas all the time & I'm really really scared.
I've been going on walks everyday since then 30 min, an hour & today for about 3-4 hours & I just always feel horrible.
Whenever I work out my sugar spikes & I don't know how to bring it down & it gives me anxiety which only makes it worse. If I don't work out its still high.
I've stayed between 70-90 fasting
& maybe 90-100 after food.
I'm an avid hiker & amateur rock climber. I've played sports all my life & I've been a camp Counsler since 2009. I try to stay active as possible despite my weight. I've always been chunky around 250-260lbs as an adult
Now I'm down to 241
I was 247 last week
I'm only 22
& I've never been this messed up in life & I'm terribly terribly scared.
I'm obsessing over this & I'm making myself sicker.  My boyfriend tells me not to worry because 100-140 aren't bad, but I don't want it to go past 100 because I'm terrified of becoming diabetic.
I'm eating & working out as if I already were diabetic but I'm just miserable, sad, hungry & sick. It's made my depression worse & I've had to stop taking all my Meds because they all lower my sugar or might make me insulin resistant.

[Super_sally888]

Hi,

First thing take a deep breath.  As you well know your anxiety isn't helping anything.   You will need to make a conscious effort on managing it.

It is also not recommended to stop taking your anxiety meds.  You need to keep your anxiety under control so you can deal with other things in your life.

Ideally you will get in to see a dr when you can and get properly checked.  

Blood sugar levels of 100 - 140 are NOT an emergency, and don't automatically make you diabetic.  Nor will you automatically progress to diabetes.  You have time to deal with this.  

The way to manage possible diabetes with diet (and this should also help with your anxiety) is with low carb, high healthy fats, and moderate protein diet.  This way of eating is similar to paleo, new atkins induction, ketogenic.  

I am actually diabetic and have to use insulin.  I follow the ketogenic eating approach and my fats intake is about 80% of energy, protein is about 15% of energy, and carbs are about 5% of energy.  With this approach my blood sugars are excellent and I have greatly reduced how much insulin I need to use.     With the ketogenic way of eating I have also managed to slowly lose weight.

Exercise daily.  Find ways to manage your stress.  

Breakfast will ideally be protein and fat (not bagel, banana and peanut butter, which combined are nearly all carb).  For example eggs fried in butter, some cheese, and some green veges.

Lunch and dinner for me are typically some sort of fatty meat and plenty of non-starchy vegetables.  My snacks are nuts, cheese, vegetables.

Hope this is helpful for you.

[j_hz]

Thank you for your input!
I've never had medication or treatment for my anxiety so my meds aren't anxiety meds.
I have to use a steroid nasal spray
Oxytocin
Naproxen
Amoxicillin
& I'm currently on the Depo shot. I read that All but the oxytocin can cuase  blood sugar problems &/or insulin resistance so I've stopped taking all except the oxytocin.  
I'm incredibly scared of eating anything so far so I'm still looking for things to eat. I'm incredibly poor & food is hard to come by so I eat what I can get & right now I have bagels :/
All other food in my house is super bad for blood sugar. Potatoes, white bread, tortillas, orange juice, banana, oranges etc.
I need to control my anxiety but it's really really hard. Usually it's irrational anxiety but I've been under enormous stress for the past 3-6 months. I've lost my 3rd job this year (thanks anxiety) I had to drop out of college, my mother just left back to her home country last night (this is literally the root of my current anxiety I'm sure) & I might lose my apartment. The last thing I need is diabetes. I ran out of test strips today, I used my last one today at 3 after my walk & I was at 124.
I read that normal blood sugar for a non diabetic is supposed to be between 70-90 & that's why it's freaking me out. I feel like everyone just thinks I'm melodramatic but I am getting sick from my sugar going past 100. I'm shaky, nauseas, anxious & I feel like I need to vomit. My heart keeps beating fast & I get cold sweats & chills.
I've never wanted my sugar to be low the way I want it to be now. At least when it's low I can eat somewhat comfortably. Whenever I eat when it's it's 100+ I gag while chewing & I cannot swallow because food is just disgusting.

[diabetes86]

Your are obsessing, look at the length of your post.  stress can lower BG or raise BG.  

we do know that carbohydrates are what raise BG

bagels raise BG
banana raise BG
peanut butter has less carbs than a bagel so will raise it less.

club sandwich has 3 slices of bread... bread raises BG

if it has carbs it will raise BG

google "eat to your meter"

strenuous workouts will raise BG,  less strenuous workouts lower BG

[j_hz]

So is yoga & a 30 min stroll better exercise?

I'm used to intense workouts & that's what I've been doing. Yesterday I did 5 minutes of pushups, 5 minutes of squats & 5 minutes of step aerobics & another 5 of just stretching. I did a yoga cool down, a 45 minute hot bath & went to bed & actually managed to sleep throughout the night without waking up in a panic at 3am because my sugar hits 108-119.
I never really thought about the carbs I was eating. I just ate. Food has always been an issue, I don't like eating much or drinking water much. I eat because I have to & when I do it's 'bad' food (carbs) & I only really started drinking water everyday because my boyfriend makes me. I do not like sodas much-only ginger ale  & I don't like caffeine but I love milk tea & regular tea.
Yes I know I am obsessing but that's just a side effect of my anxiety. I need 100% control & understanding because it helps me cope & ease anxiety symptoms. One of the first things I'm going to tackle besides my blood sugar/diet is finally getting treatment for my mental illnesses that also contributed to my blood sugar.
I am also more than willing to cut out all carbs.