Fiancé upset about baby

[sjjames]

My fiance has 2 children frm a previous marriage, we have 1 together and I just found out I'm 13 weeks pregnant. He is angry he says we can't afford it, he hardly sees his other boys who stay 13 hours away, he mentioning bills and everything else. How do I make him calm down and see this as a blessing?

[specialmom]

Ugh, I'm sorry.  That stinks.  Reality is that not everyone is excited to become a parent.  I agree with anniebrooke that your partner is entitled to his feelings of dismay over the pregnancy just as you are entitled to your good feelings about it.  I do feel badly for men because although it takes two to make a baby---  once the deed is done, they lose all rights for what happens next.  It's a woman's body---  that I do agree with. But a man has no say in whether he becomes a parent or not when a woman does.  Oh well.  anyway, he may come around.  He might not.  Prepare for the worst case scenario.  Come up with a plan if you are going to keep the baby for how you will provide for and be a single parent.  good luck

[remar]

Specialmom. I agree with what you're saying but if a man does not want any children, or any more right now, he should use a condom or make sure his partner is on birth control. So many people just don't stop to think if you're not using anything to prevent a pregnancy one can very well happen. I do think men should have rights too but I also think that they should make sure a pregnancy doesn't happen if they don't want a baby. Too many men leave it up to the woman to use birth control. Or, they will take chances with women they hardly know and not use protection. I know that sentence was off of this posters topic. I just see so many babies being born to people who are not ready when birth control is free at any woman's clinic. Her fiance could even go to a woman's clinic to get free condoms. He apparently did nothing to stop this pregnancy so he shouldn't be mad at her.

[remar]

If he wasn't ready for more children then why didn't he make sure birth control was used. I know this is very personal, but did he use condoms to prevent another pregnancy? Were you on birth control? If not, he had to know another pregnancy was going to happen.
I really hope things settle down for both of you. There are things you can do to cut your cost. Use coupons when grocery shopping. I save a lot by doing this. You can get them off of the computer. Use cloth diapers. You can save thousands on just one child by doing this.Breastfeed your baby. It's best for your baby anyway and you'll save so much money on formula.Check out second hand children's shops. A lot of times you can find brand new clothing and other things for a fraction of the new cost.
I know you said your husband is concerned about money so that's why I recommended these things.  

[restia]

I think seeing you happy and contented with the baby would make him see that its a blessing. Talk to him more ,maybe hes just upset and shocked about it. Good luck :)

[AnnieBrooke]

Sweetheart, he has a right to his feelings just like you do.  You can't "make" him see it differently than he sees it.  All you can do is try to help alleviate his concerns as much as possible.  Do you have a job?  Are you going to be able to keep working after the baby comes?  That would help his worries about money.