Aa
Had sex with two guys 5 days apart and now I'm pregnant. Who is the father?
The first of my last period was on October 27th which lasted 5 days. I have a 31-34 average cycle. I had sex with guy A on November 9 and November 12. Had sex with guy B on November 17. My due date is August 3. Who might the father be?
Did you ever find out the father. Same situation
2 Comments
Hi, Just,
Sometimes the women who post with questions don't stick with MedHelp after they get their issue resolved, and although MedHelp does send emails to the original poster of a thread if someone adds to the thread with a question or comment, it is possible that they won't answer (if they even get the email).
If you would like, you can click the "Ask a question" button above right and post your details, and we could see if there is anything in the dates or other information you have that would help figure out who is the dad. Sometimes even if a woman has had sex with two guys in a short time period, it is possible to tell from her ultrasound results or other information that the eventful short time period when both guys could have been the dad, is not the actual time period when she got pregnant. This doesn't always happen, but it's worth a shot to see if it would be true in your case.
I hope you do write in, and promise to answer if you do. :)
AnnieBrooke (Community Leader, DNA/Paternity community)
Sometimes the women who post with questions don't stick with MedHelp after they get their issue resolved, and although MedHelp does send emails to the original poster of a thread if someone adds to the thread with a question or comment, it is possible that they won't answer (if they even get the email).
If you would like, you can click the "Ask a question" button above right and post your details, and we could see if there is anything in the dates or other information you have that would help figure out who is the dad. Sometimes even if a woman has had sex with two guys in a short time period, it is possible to tell from her ultrasound results or other information that the eventful short time period when both guys could have been the dad, is not the actual time period when she got pregnant. This doesn't always happen, but it's worth a shot to see if it would be true in your case.
I hope you do write in, and promise to answer if you do. :)
AnnieBrooke (Community Leader, DNA/Paternity community)
Thank you
The way I figure it your last period and cycle length suggest ovulation Nov 13th to Nov 16th. The due date suggests ovulation Nov 10th. Either guy might be the father, but the probabilities favor guy A who made more than one deposit on potentially fertile days. If you were to tell me that on Nov 17th your sex drive was particularly high, I would wonder if that indicated you were ovulating late and guy B had an equal chance.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Did you get the due date from the measurements of the baby on an early ultrasound?
9 Comments
From the measurements of the baby
... and, the rest of my question was, were the measurements of the baby given to you by an early ultrasound?
To answer your question, I am trying to assess how reliable your due date is. You haven't given enough information to be able to answer your question of who the father is unless you also say how you got your due date.
A due date given, for example, by someone putting a tape measure on the outside of a woman's body and asking when her last period was, is not as reliable as one given in the 6th week by a doctor looking at an ultrasound, who did not base anything on when your last period came but looked instead only at the crown-to-rump measurement of the baby and other developmental markers, as seen by the ultrasound. A later ultrasound in the pregnancy than 7 weeks is not very helpful, as there begin to be margins for error based on different growth rates of the embryo.
So, how did you get the due date, and how early in your pregnancy was it when you got it?
A due date given, for example, by someone putting a tape measure on the outside of a woman's body and asking when her last period was, is not as reliable as one given in the 6th week by a doctor looking at an ultrasound, who did not base anything on when your last period came but looked instead only at the crown-to-rump measurement of the baby and other developmental markers, as seen by the ultrasound. A later ultrasound in the pregnancy than 7 weeks is not very helpful, as there begin to be margins for error based on different growth rates of the embryo.
So, how did you get the due date, and how early in your pregnancy was it when you got it?
Sorry, no. I got my first ultrasound done at 18 weeks
and the due date was just given to me using the first day of my last period
When I got my ultrasound that is when the measurements of the baby were taken.
Well, then, the sex with the two guys being that close together means there is not any way to decide from the information you have which one might be the dad.
If your ultrasound had been 11 weeks earlier, even then it would be difficult, but when it's an 18th-week ultrasound the margin for error is larger than the time gap between the men. Meaning, your due date is not reliable because your ultrasound was too late in the pregnancy to pinpoint it that closely -- the possible margin for error by then is well over 10 days plus or minus. If your due date is not reliable enough for pinpoint accuracy, a conception date estimated from the due date won't be pinpoint either. And when the sex was only a few days apart, you really would need it to be pinpoint. This means you do not have the information to rule out either guy.
If you absolutely have to know before the baby is born, you could get a DNA test done (swabs with both men and a blood draw from yourself), but it costs a lot and there are only a couple of reliable labs. If you're open to the cost, contact Ravgen or the DDC. Otherwise, wait until after the baby is born and do a DNA test with both men, to legally establish paternity. DNA tests are about a tenth as costly after the baby comes, and anyway the courts will only accept DNA testing for paternity if it is done after the baby comes. See your doctor or call the family court in your area of jurisdiction about how to go about legally establishing paternity.
I am sorry, but there is really no other way to know at this point besides doing a DNA test.
If your ultrasound had been 11 weeks earlier, even then it would be difficult, but when it's an 18th-week ultrasound the margin for error is larger than the time gap between the men. Meaning, your due date is not reliable because your ultrasound was too late in the pregnancy to pinpoint it that closely -- the possible margin for error by then is well over 10 days plus or minus. If your due date is not reliable enough for pinpoint accuracy, a conception date estimated from the due date won't be pinpoint either. And when the sex was only a few days apart, you really would need it to be pinpoint. This means you do not have the information to rule out either guy.
If you absolutely have to know before the baby is born, you could get a DNA test done (swabs with both men and a blood draw from yourself), but it costs a lot and there are only a couple of reliable labs. If you're open to the cost, contact Ravgen or the DDC. Otherwise, wait until after the baby is born and do a DNA test with both men, to legally establish paternity. DNA tests are about a tenth as costly after the baby comes, and anyway the courts will only accept DNA testing for paternity if it is done after the baby comes. See your doctor or call the family court in your area of jurisdiction about how to go about legally establishing paternity.
I am sorry, but there is really no other way to know at this point besides doing a DNA test.
Ovulation date wouldn't help track back ?
For the sake of illustration, let's say you knew for sure that you ovulated on November 17. You would still not be able to tell who is the dad, because sperm from the first guy would still be alive and viable inside your reproductive tract on November 17, the same time as sperm from the second guy. (Sperm has a longer life inside the woman's body than the unfertilized egg does.)
But even more to the point, why do you think you know when you ovulated? Counting on a calendar is not accurate, women can ovulate any time between their periods, they do not ovulate any reliable distance from the prior period. There are apps. They don't work when a woman has cycles that vary in length, and 31-34 days is a lot of variation. There are ovulation test strips. The woman has to be using them at the time, and even then, all they do is measure a hormone rise that signals ovulation is coming up sometime in the next day or two. There is mittelschmerz; it can occur before ovulation.
The only way you would know for totally sure when you ovulated is if you were in a doctor's care and getting ultrasounds every day, and one day the doctor saw the egg in the follicle, and the next day he saw that the follicle was empty. With your dates this close together, you would need to know totally for sure. I think a DNA test is the only way you are going to know with that level of certainty.
But even more to the point, why do you think you know when you ovulated? Counting on a calendar is not accurate, women can ovulate any time between their periods, they do not ovulate any reliable distance from the prior period. There are apps. They don't work when a woman has cycles that vary in length, and 31-34 days is a lot of variation. There are ovulation test strips. The woman has to be using them at the time, and even then, all they do is measure a hormone rise that signals ovulation is coming up sometime in the next day or two. There is mittelschmerz; it can occur before ovulation.
The only way you would know for totally sure when you ovulated is if you were in a doctor's care and getting ultrasounds every day, and one day the doctor saw the egg in the follicle, and the next day he saw that the follicle was empty. With your dates this close together, you would need to know totally for sure. I think a DNA test is the only way you are going to know with that level of certainty.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the DNA / Paternity Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
