Sexual Regrets

[DumbDecisions2017]

Hello,

When I was out of mind and in a horrible place mentally, I did some out of character sexual things that I hate so much now.  

I feel like I've returned to myself, but now I'm left with severe regret, disgust, sadness and anger over what I did in the past and who I did it with.  I'm not sure I'll ever get over it.  Plus, I live in fear of the news spreading.

I know it's my fault for doing it, but at the time I was too blind to clearly see and think about consequences.  I ruined my body, present, future, and I'm filled with sadness because there's nothing I can ever do about it in all the world.

If anyone has ever dealt with this, how did you deal with it and forgive yourself or move on enough to enjoy life?

[specialmom]

Most people do things in their life that they regret.  Trying to move on and not dwell on it is important.  Forgive yourself and give it time.  The feeling should fade.  good luck

[DumbDecisions2017]

Thanks. I try but it doesn't seem to stick, unfortunately.

[specialmom]

Maybe a counselor would be helpful to work through it?

[DumbDecisions2017]

I'm back : ).  2 years later and I still struggle with this everyday. It's mainly because I hate it so much. When I objectively look at the situation it pains me how I allowed myself to be treated and how I acted.  It's so far against what I believe, but now it's me.

I learned a lot, got back to myself, but the regret is too great.

[DumbDecisions2017]

If there ever comes a time in my life when I overcome this. I'll come back and explain how.  

[JT0325]

I have went through a time like that and have had it blow up for most of my family to see I was ashamed and still am when I think about all I have done it took a long time to forgive myself but you have to realize that nobody's perfect we're all humans with needs and we do stupid things now there's still the judgment which delays the forgiving process so much because how can you forgive yourself if someone is constantly reminding of it? you have to try and ignore it but I hope this helps :)

[DumbDecisions2017]

Thanks for the feedback.  It's still difficult for me, but I hope you're still doing well.

[specialmom]

Sounds like you are really beating yourself up.  The thing is, lots of people DO get STD's and it is not the end of the world.  Most are treatable!  Others are controllable.  It's life.  I'm a firm believer that we learn far more by our mistakes in life than our good choices.  

Perhaps a therapist would help you sort it out.  Forgiving ourselves is important in life.  Knowing that we are in good company every time we make a mistake (as we all make them).  If I kicked myself for every big mistake I've made, I'd be in bad shape.  You have to learn, take the lesson and learn.  And believe that things happen in life SO we CAN learn.  Take the good out of the bad and grow from it.  good luck

[DumbDecisions2017]

Thank you!

I do feel like I've learned a lot.  Mostly to appreciate myself much more, take care of myself, etc. Never somewhat I did, no matter what.

I would be great if I could somehow learn to deal with this.  This is the new thing holding me down.  I can't seem to let it go.  I tend to hold onto bad things and obsess over them.  

I've tried a therapist.  I guess illntry again.  I know I'm not awful but I feel pretty low and disgusting.