Is there anything I can do to help?

[Coolj4510]

I’ve been dating this amazing girl for 4 months, and it has been amazing. She just recently had a hysterectomy but they left one ovary. I have been by her side since day one, I’m the one that paid and got her to go to the obgyn. It was 2 weeks after she went she had the surgery. She admits she has be a emotional roller coaster and bites our heads off. We don’t fight but have a bump or two, then the other day everything was fine at lunch, planning our getaway, telling me I was the best thing that happened to her, then a couple hours later said she couldn’t do it anymore via txt. I’m completely lost, she says she’s done and that’s it. What can I do besides give her her space. She was in pain for a year before she got with me and had lost her kid, we were in the process of getting her daughter back, i even took her to the surgery and never left, Any ideas of what’s going on, I don’t want her to regret it because she can’t work and has really no where else to go, and I’m so lost and heartbroken. I’m afraid it is permanent the way she talks, and do not and or lose her but probably have. She will loose what she has and the option to get her rights back. Thanks

[old_before_my_time]

My heart breaks for her as well as you. Hysterectomy can really change a woman even when one or both ovaries are left in place. There is plenty of evidence of this on the web. Although ovarian function is usually impaired after the uterus is removed, that does not appear to be the only reason for personality and other changes. Some of the most common complaints are irritability, mood swings, depression, anxiety, loss of loving feelings (romantic and maternal), impaired cognition and memory, profound fatigue, loss of sexual desire and function.

It's so sad that these surgeries are rarely necessary and women are not told the medically documented after effects. Use of hormones may help her cope, at least they did for me. Her ovary may still be trying to "come back to life" (which may or may not happen) but even if it does, chances are she will be a different person.

I hate to have to relay this information but don't want to tell you everything will be fine when it likely won't be. I wish you both the best.

[Speckla]

She may need time and space.  It's an emotional and hormonap roller coaster. And she's having outside issues with her daughter.  Maybe step back a bit but let her know you're there if she needs you.