I apologize for this being gross. I couldn't find my exact problem anywhere. I really need advice.
If I simulate vaginal sex right before my period hits, I'll be crippled by the most horrific pain I've felt in my life. Granted, I'm fairly rough on myself, but not like I used to be. Dryness isn't an issue. I think I'm banging my cervix too much. My periods are horrible even without me antagonizing them, but I'm so obsessed with sex that it's been hard to stop. I reckon it's one of my forms of self-abuse.
The pain is so awful when I'm on my period that it warps my brain. I can't function on the most basic level. My abdomen is filled with sharp stabbing and dull aches. My bowels feel blocked and like they're contributing to the agony somehow. The pain will decrease exponentially if I'm able to use the restroom, but it's a nightmarish task that takes all day. It feels like I was anally raped and my ovaries are being crushed by fists. I don't know how else to describe it. I'm shaking, sweaty, nauseous, and feeling like I'm on the verge of death.
I need to know if this normal and 100% self-inflicted. It seems like it to me. I haven't gone to the doctor because I'm doing it to myself and I just need to stop.
I haven't had any sexual partners and I don't take any medication. I've been a chronic masturbation addict since I was ten and now I'm eighteen. My insides feel generally sensitive and battered. I hope I haven't destroyed myself permanently.
Is anything about what I'm going through normal? Should I bother going to the doctor?