How long is too long for family to stay at your house?

[specialmom]

Oh, such a timely question.  Holidays are coming so out of town relatives can decide they want to come visit.  Um hm.  I'm in this boat.  I have an out of town very hard to get along with (as in he literally drives almost everyone crazy) brother in law and son who is a little troubled and also quite difficult who wants to come to our town for 5 weeks.  He lives out of the country and visits for long, LONG periods of time.  He wants to come right before Christmas and has the full expectation that he stays with relatives.  I'm highly resistant to this.  While in laws are important . . . so is my sanity.  My husband doesn't really want to have them here either but also is terrible about saying no.  It WILL come up as he says he want to rotate through each house.  There are four of us local and two out of town but within two hours.  I'm like H to the NO if you know what I mean.  

Okay, SOOOOO . . . you can advise me in my own predicament and then we can also have a general discussion about HOW many days a guest should stay at your house for a visit before it is intrusive.

[Barb135]

If it's someone who really disrupts the household, even an overnighter can be too long... I agree with Annie.  

[AnnieBrooke]

That sounds awful. Your husband needs to have a spine. To provide him some backbone (and backup) I would tell my husband that you and the kids will stay at a motel as long as said family member is staying at your house. And I'd mean it. I'd explain calmly that I won't tell him that his brother can't be a guest in his house, but that I don't have to be there when he is, and the kids can come with me.