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Question about girlfriend being raped

Me and my girlfriend been together 3 years. Yesterday she told me she was raped 15 years ago by 4 men in a car. One pulled out her a gun and told her to get in the car. They took her to a apartment and forced her to give them oral sex. She said they then dropped her back off by her house. We are both 34. This happened to her when she was 19 living with her grandmother. She didn’t tell her family about it.

She told me about it yesterday though. She seemed uncomfortable talking about it. About 20 minutes she seemed real horny and wanted to have sex. It made me wonder if she is turned on and at the same time hurt about what happened to her. She really was turned on and was super wet. I went ahead and had sex with her. I’m just trying to figure out what made her so horny
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134578 tn?1693250592
I read someone's (true) account once of having been raped at knifepoint in her kitchen. She noted that later in life when she thought of it, it surprised her that she had a sexual response to the memory. (Except for being raped, she had not been wounded. She associated the knife with the forcefulness, and with her not being responsible for the sex, but not with pain.) Apparently sometimes even an undesired event with a sexual component can later become a vivid sexual memory.

As her boyfriend, I would believe what she said (i.e., that it happened). Since she survived and didn't get shot or brutalized other than being forced to perform oral sex, maybe the indelible nature of the memory has tied itself in her mind to the sexual aspect of what she was forced to do.

Just be supportive. Ask her if she wants to see a therapist about the trauma, or if she wants to look into trying to report the crime at this late date. Then just be there for her.
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Oh, and as RockRose said, you could very subtly hint to her that if she gets turned on by the memory, you could be a participant in a bit of role play with her if that is what she wants.

If it is in any way a turn-on for someone to remember a rape, (which believe me I am not saying anyone should shrug off a woman being violated by a rape!). But if there is later a feeling in their memory of sexual excitement even if entwined with the bad feelings about having been forced against their will, it might not be that surprising. Sexuality is very complicated and powerful. Should such a mixed reaction occur, it could come from the notion of getting sex without having to take responsibility. Or else it could come from almost the opposite, which would be a sense of  being powerful, for giving 4 men ejaculations. For some people, sex is power, and it would hardly be surprising if such feelings come up after a rape. (In fact, the combination of sex and power is where those [maybe a bit dated] fetishes about being tied up come from. Guys who like to be tied up do so because they are tired of feeling guilty about wanting sex -- they're not responsible, hooray, they get sex without having to put themselves on the line to ask for it. Women who do the dominatrix thing like it because they're tired of being the weaker party. Etc.) So, tread lightly, but as RR said, you could very carefully hint to her that if she wants to try some acting out, you could be up for it. If you are.
13167 tn?1327194124
It sounds like she was sharing a fantasy,  Joerezz.  This is not a completely unusual fantasy,  but it is an unusual situation to happen in real life.  I think I'd try to ask in a nonconfrontational way if this was a fantasy she wanted to act out.
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