Diabetic Male and an HIV Positive Male? Kissing and Oral Sex? Questions about Risks?

[worried222111]

I'm a diabetic male. HIV negative. i recently started a relationship with an HIV positive male who claims to be 'undetectable' but i still have some questions and i'm still a bit concerned.

we Have had sexual contact but it was just kissing. He kissed me and he preformed oral sex on me. I know the risk of that are apparently really low, but I don't really understand how they are.

I know that HIV can only be spread by blood, vaginal fluids, rectal fluids, and breast milk. But one thing I always thought that if my mouth or my penis had a microscopic cut and if his mouth had a microscopic cut, i could contract the virus that way. But no one ever talks about that being possible.

Why is that impossible?

Another thing is, how often do viral louds change? i know undetectable means a guy with hiv has an extremely low viral load and is unable to pass it on, but i also remember reading that if he would get sick or if he would forget to take his meds one day his viral load can change and he can become detectable again, how likely is that?

I was also worried because with me being a type 1 diabetic, my skin is more 'fragile' in lack of better words and i'm more susceptible to stuff like this. No offense to anyone though.

[CurfewX]

AnxiousNoMore listed the only risks.  Small cuts and scrapes provide insufficient entry points for HIV, which is NOT that easy to contract.  If the cuts and scrapes were of sufficient size to allow entry, you would be seeking medical attention rather than engaging in any sexual activity.

Also, saliva has properties that inhibit the virus, which is why oral and kissing are of no concern.

Viral loads CAN change, but not by missing one pill.  If your partner is undetectable, he can't transmit the virus to you.  He will likely stay undetectable as long as he is adherent to meds, and why wouldn't he be? Stopping meds would be very detrimental to his health.

You needn't worry about your skin.  You're not going to get HIV in the ways you imagine - sexually, the ONLY concern is unprotected penetration.

[AnxiousNoMore]

This answers all of your HIV questions, and if you can think of any more just reread about the 3. You had zero risk therefore  testing is irrelevant to your situation because you had zero risk. HIV is a fragile virus, which is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva which means it is effectively dead so it can't infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. It doesn't matter if you and they were actively bleeding or had cuts at the time either because the HIV is effectively dead.  
Only 3 adult risks are the following:
1. unprotected penetrating vaginal with a penis
2. unprotected penetrating anal sex with a penis
3. sharing needles that you inject with.
The only way to get HIV is if you did one of the 3. The situation you describe is a long way from any of these 3.
Even with blood, lactation, cuts, rashes, burns, etc the air or the saliva does not allow inactivated virus to infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. Doctors have calculated the risk from what you describe to be less than that of being hit by a meteor, therefore no one will get HIV from what you did in the next 40 years of your life either. The above HIV science is 40 years old and very well established, so no detail that you can add to your encounter will change it from zero risk.
Your skin does not make zero risk into low risk. You need to stop interchanging the words low with no as if they have the same meaning.

[worried222111]

"You need to stop interchanging the words low with no as if they have the same meaning."

Chill... it was just a question...