I'm wondering what else is going on with your life. Are you depressed? Anxious? Traumatized by something so that ejaculation is associated with bad feelings? Those things can be worked on and made better.
I think the edging is prbly making it worse - here’s why: During stimulation, the prostate & other associated glands start producing fluids in anticipation of ejaculation, but if no ejaculstion occurs, those fluids remain there & can stagnate. In younger men, that can result in a nocturnal emission (wet dream), which is the body’s way of emptying the overfilled chambers, so to speak. But this happens much less for guys after teens & early 20s, so most likely that stuff will accumulate. Some of it does get released gradually in the urine, but still, you are keeping stagnant ejaculate backed up in your system for the most part. So in your case, it would prbly be better to just avoid sexual activity if you don’t want to ejaculate.
What I’m wondering is why ejaculation, which is normally a very pleasurable experience, is causing you to feel depressed. It’s normal to sometimes feel a little tired or even a slight let-down after, but not every time & not to the degree you’re experiencing. I would suggest you bring this up w/ your Dr - it’s possible there is some hormonal imbalance or maybe thyroid or pituitary. Doesn’t seem normal to me that you should be feeling this way.
If I ejaculated 2-3 times a week I would end up so depressed I would want to die. Well, that's kinda how depressed I am anyway but not ejaculating helps me not feel so lifeless. And if I do ejaculate it takes me a week to get horny again (I'm 35).
Let me ask this, is doing what I'm doing with the edging the same as simply being celibate? Or does the edging make it different?
NO !! This is NOT a good idea! You could be setting yourself up for prostate problems - it’s not a good idea to have build-up of prostatic fluids & other components of semen to remain in the system for long periods of time. In the short term, you can easily develop prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate) which is very unpleasant & doesnt always respond well to treatment. In the long-term, this could set you up for prostate cancer. There have been several studies showing frequent ejaculation reduces the chance of acquiring prostate cancer years later. The theory is that stagnant fluids in the prostate have substances that may cause cellular changes to tissues that can become cancerous. You can check with a Dr or especially a Urologist on this, but offhand, my advice would be that it’s prbly OK to edge & not ejaculate for a day or two, but you should prbly go ahead & ejaculate AT LEAST 2-3 times a week. These studies said that guys who ejaculated 21 times or more a month had significantly reduced risk of developing cancer years later...