How to plan HERPES Testing?

[hulkstones]

I have had sex with my gf for 4 years (maybe once a month), we had broken up and recently got together, meanwhile she had sex with ex as well when we were not together, now the last time I have been tested negative for IGG herpes is on May 4th, I recently had sex with her both oral and genetical on 6/29 but while kissing I noticed her lips where dry and cracked and she had red boil, lips looked bit swollen, she is not educated therefore doesn't understand STDs but she told me she had it for a week now, it bit was painful and itchy, no fever or chills
My current plan:
8 days after possible exposure: IGG & IGM
4 weeks IGG
12-week IGG
I am getting extremely light tingle and kind of burning on left of lower lips but its only after concentrating on it a lot (maybe I am being cynical), today is the 6th day I didn't get any flare like symptoms yet or red spots but I want to be proactive and help her and myself both, how long it took for you guys for symptoms to show up for both oral or genital? Is it always 2-12 days? What is my best possible way to diagnose further?

[hulkstones]

Thank you very much for your prompt response, you have no idea how much it helps when you responded so fast, appreciate your time and help.
So I saw my gf again today after 6 days of possible exposure, her lips looks completely normal today (just dry inside) the lines over the top and bottom seem to be intact and no sores or swelling but some patchy yellow dryness inside the lips.  I explained to her all the possibilities and she told me she got tested last Saturday and all her results are negative (Again she didn't tell me if she did any herpes test, she doesn't understand all these things).

Well I don't want to make her feel bad but since I care for her I started to ask for symptoms and she got pissed off, she thought she caught something serious from me, since she saw her results negative today she says she forgave me

Anyways, how long can these sore heal by itself? I know she told me she had sores from a week before I met (ie last week) so today is like 3rd week for that episode, would it completely disappear? She never had any genital symptoms for sure only oral is my concern for her,  I know what I saw was very much matching herpes symptoms with red sore over the lips (not under)

[auntiejessi]

Many places don't include herpes in standard testing, but if she went in asking about her lip sore, they may have included it.

An oral herpes sore can heal within 7-10 days, give or take, with no treatment. Some may take a little longer. If it was her first one, and she is newly infected, it could take 2-3 weeks, easily. So yes, if it was an oral herpes outbreak, it could be completely gone by now.

If it was a pimple, or something else, it could also be completely gone by now, too.

It sounds like there is some serious miscommunication happening with you and your gf. Are you being honest with her? Telling her that you saw a sore that you think may be herpes on her mouth, that you kissed her and let her perform oral sex on you with that sore, despite better judgement, and you are now concerned that you could have gotten it from her, or conversely, this is something she could have gotten from you? (If you have it, and don't know it, this is easily something you could have given her not intending to.) Have you mentioned that your only goal here is to figure out who has what, in order to protect each other?

Again, oral herpes is something that either or both of you could have had since you were children.

You have questions about herpes, too, so you both need some education (as to most people in the world - don't get me started on the state of sex education in this world). That's okay. Just because she doesn't know now doesn't mean she can't learn.

For now, just get your IgG type specific test, and go from there.

[hulkstones]

Thank you, I got my results, I have been exposed to either HSV 1 or HSV 2 twice 4 weeks back and 10 days back, no visible symptoms yet, IGG for both is < 0.1 but in Urinalysis shows specific gravity to be 1.03 Abnormal with WBC and RBC and also Crystal (Calcium Oxalate ) and mucus threads present, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and Trichomas tests are still "Will Follow", does HSV affect urine results as well? I had got chlamydia from the same girl 2 years back, she told me she was fine later.

Unprotected oral and genital on 5/7/2019

protected genital and unprotected oral 5/26/2019

[auntiejessi]

"have been exposed to either HSV 1 or HSV 2 twice 4 weeks back and 10 days back" - there is no test that determines this. What test did you have done? It sounds like a doctor is trying to interpret an IgM incorrectly, and again - ignore that result. The IgM is UNRELIABLE. Mine was negative when it should have been positive, and positive when it should have been negative.

You really should be asking your doctor about these results.

https://www.healthline.com/health/urine-specific-gravity#results - you may be dehydrated.


https://www.labcorp.com/help/patient-test-info/urinalysis-three-types-of-examinations-3# -

Crystals are identified by their shape, color, and by the urine pH. They may be small, sand-like particles with no specific shape (amorphous) or have specific shapes, such as needle-like. Crystals are considered "normal" if they are from solutes that are typically found in the urine; these usually form as urine cools after collection and were not present in the body. Some examples of crystals that can be found in the urine of healthy individuals include:

    Amorphous urates
    Crystalline uric acid
    Calcium oxalates
    Amorphous phosphates


WBC and RBC are white and red blood cells. Both can indicate an infection, like a urinary tract infection, or inflammation.

https://medlineplus.gov/lab-tests/mucus-in-urine/ - a small amount is normal. Increased amounts can indicate a UTI, STD, or a few other things that you probably don't have.

They are probably sending your urine to be cultured for bacteria along with the STD testing.

Herpes wouldn't affect your urine like this, and until you get a conclusive IgG, you don't know that you have it.

http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/herpes/herpes-testing/ - read the part on IgM

https://westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/ -

IgM (a different kind of antibody) tests do not accurately distinguish between the types of virus nor can they accurately tell a new infection from an old one. IgM tests also may pick up other herpes viruses, like chicken pox or mono virus. IgM tests for herpes should be avoided completely until better ones are available. Many clinicians don’t realize that the IgM test is not good for diagnosing people, and tell people, based on an IgM test, that they have herpes. And not only that, they tell them have new herpes infection because IgM, with other viruses, comes up early in infection. But with herpes, IgG and IgM come up around the same time. The IgM can be generated years after first infection and will be detectable periodically. There are also commonly false positives on the IgM test. A person might have an IgM test and four months later, still be IgG negative. The IgG is the only test you ever want for herpes, never ever IgM.

Again, no test can determine exactly when you were infected to the day. It doesn't exist. I don't know if that's something you came up with, or your doctor did, but it doesn't exist. We can sometimes narrow it down to a day with testing and if someone has a negative testing history and only one exposure, etc. (I know the exact day I was infected because of circumstances, but no test would have been able to determine that.)

[hulkstones]

Yes, you are absolutely correct regarding my crystals, Doctor told me I am dehydrated and not taking enough water, anyways, I have been tested negative for HSV1/2 IGG 5 times in last one year and recently there were only two exposures, right now after 10 days of the most recent second exposure and no symptoms yet, I get have IGM <1:10 titer and IGG negative, what should I make out of this? For my IGM should be important right because I was tested negative throughout .... and had only two possible exposures ...

[auntiejessi]

Don't take the IgM. It's unreliable, and a waste of time, money and resources. Ignore those results entirely. Act as if you didn't even take it. Mine were negative when they should have been positive, and positive when they should have been negative. Did you read what I said above about IgM testing?

Do the IgG testing at the appropriate times.

That's the only way to determine if you have it. If you have negative IgG tests (and seriously - 5 tests? That's a lot, and too many - is this an obsession? Anxiety?), then you know that if you test positive on your next test, it will be a new infection, and since you've only had 2 exposures, who you got it from.

Honestly, this seems like a serious overreaction to what may be a pimple on her lip. Test again ONCE with the IgG at the end of Sept. Then let it go.

[hulkstones]

Yes, I have very hard anxiety, waiting is very hard for me, fortunately, I found good info here and with your help feeling bit composed.  

[auntiejessi]

I hate waiting, so I get it. That's the hardest part of most medical issues.

If this anxiety is not new for you, consider talking to your doctor about it. There is help for it. :)

[auntiejessi]

Assuming it's an oral herpes outbreak - has she had one before? Does she know that she has this? - then for sure there is a chance you got it, if you don't already have it. About half the adult population does, and 90% never get a symptom.

Test now with a type specific IgG. Don't bother with the IgM. It's unreliable, and shouldn't be done on anyone but infants. If it's negative now, then test again at 12 weeks, or if you can't wait that long, and can afford it, do it at 6 weeks, too.

The incubation period is 2-20 days, with the average of 4 days if you are going to get symptoms.

You didn't notice until you were kissing her that she had a boil (not usually herpes) on her mouth? It's always a good idea to not let someone with any kind of sore on their mouth kiss you or perform oral sex on you. You don't know if it's a herpes sore, or something bacterial, etc. Maybe she just had a big pimple and chapped lips.

There's no need to freak out here, or over test. Please don't make your girlfriend feel bad, or like a walking infection. It couldn't have been that noticeable if you didn't notice it until you were kissing her, and you still let her give you oral with a sore on her mouth.