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When will the pain from sex stop?
I just had sex for the first time 2 days ago. Me and my boyfriend tried for a year and a half but couldn’t ever do it because it was terrible pain that brought me to tears every time. I tried things like different positions and lube, neither of those stopped the terrible pain I would have. My first time was in a pool, and the pain wasn’t like the pain when we tried in bed. When it came to last night we both figured it would just be good and not be terrible. But again I had the terrible pain just trying to get it in there. I bled both times. The pain is really bad for me, compared to when I talk to my friends they said it only hurt the first time, and wasn’t ever this hard to have sex. Is this normal? When will the pain stop? Do you have any suggestions other than lube or different positions?
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Have you ever had a pelvic exam from a doctor (the kind that uses a speculum)? I'm curious to rule out some kind of physical issue such as a very tough hymen.
1 Comments
No, I haven’t. I’ve never been sexually active until now. So next time I have a doctor visit I’d get one. Every gyno visit was just for birth control and asking me questions about it.
I'm sorry it's been so hard for you.
Where is it hurting? Is it inside or outside? My first couple of times hurt awfully bad, more so than most of my friends, and I bled a lot. I seriously wondered why people want to do this more than once.
Are you relaxed? Is your boyfriend making sure you are aroused? Is there foreplay?
What was it about the pool? Was it the position? The atmosphere? Was it spur of the moment, so you didn't have a lot of time to think about it?
If he's having a hard time entering you, has he tried using fingers first? Is he going slowly? Not to be crass, but just ramming it in isn't going to work. Lube is awesome - keep using it. Make sure it's actual lube and not lotion or something, and if you are using condoms, make sure it's water based, so it doesn't destroy the condom.
This will sound stupid, I know, but try to relax. If your muscles are tense, it's going to make it that much harder. If you are old enough, have a glass of wine first (just one or two - you don't want to be drunk for this, and alcohol is dehydrating, and can dry you out - the opposite of what you want here), light some candles, take a bath together - whatever relaxes you.
If it still hurts after your first few times, check with your doctor to make sure everything is okay.
Most importantly, make sure you are emotionally ready for this, with this guy. If you aren't, your body may be responding accordingly.
Where is it hurting? Is it inside or outside? My first couple of times hurt awfully bad, more so than most of my friends, and I bled a lot. I seriously wondered why people want to do this more than once.
Are you relaxed? Is your boyfriend making sure you are aroused? Is there foreplay?
What was it about the pool? Was it the position? The atmosphere? Was it spur of the moment, so you didn't have a lot of time to think about it?
If he's having a hard time entering you, has he tried using fingers first? Is he going slowly? Not to be crass, but just ramming it in isn't going to work. Lube is awesome - keep using it. Make sure it's actual lube and not lotion or something, and if you are using condoms, make sure it's water based, so it doesn't destroy the condom.
This will sound stupid, I know, but try to relax. If your muscles are tense, it's going to make it that much harder. If you are old enough, have a glass of wine first (just one or two - you don't want to be drunk for this, and alcohol is dehydrating, and can dry you out - the opposite of what you want here), light some candles, take a bath together - whatever relaxes you.
If it still hurts after your first few times, check with your doctor to make sure everything is okay.
Most importantly, make sure you are emotionally ready for this, with this guy. If you aren't, your body may be responding accordingly.
5 Comments
It’s more on the outside then the inside, when he actually is inside it’s not bad! It’s nice in fact. He makes sure I’m comfortable and relaxed, we tried for a year and a half and finally did it. I read a bunch of girls say their first couple times it bled and hurt badly. So I guess I’m assuming it’s normal? I just hope the pain stops soon. Because the first time did feel nice.
We did also fingering, but that hurt too. A lot of people said that fingering can hurt when you’re a virgin and that’s when we did it. We haven’t tried it since. He goes very slowly, and yes. It’s quite difficult getting inside cause it just hurts so bad to the point I cry. Thank you for all of these suggestions & Info
Sorry if I miss commenting to anything, I’m not sure. I mean I was more on top, and I don’t know I feel more comfortable when I’m able to see his face, and I don’t know how to explain. It’s weird to me that out of all of our attempts I was comfortable in the pool. It wasn’t as bad. We have never tried using the same “position” and now that I think about it that’s a wonderful idea. I suppose it was more “open”
Have him try fingering you first. The vagina stretches, so to speak, to accommodate him, but it may be easier if he uses his fingers first. Have him start with one, and give you some time to get used to that, then he can add another, etc. Start slow. Use lube. Have him kind of scissor his fingers. Play around with it and have some fun. :)
Maybe if he brings you to orgasm first with his fingers - and some women prefer clitoral orgasms or are only able to have clitoral orgasms, so again, have fun trying - you'll be more relaxed and there will be less pressure for the whole thing.
He sounds like a great guy. He's not pressuring you - or it doesn't sound like it, anyway, and is paying attention to what you like and don't. That's awesome. Keep communication open, and you all will get there. :)
Maybe if he brings you to orgasm first with his fingers - and some women prefer clitoral orgasms or are only able to have clitoral orgasms, so again, have fun trying - you'll be more relaxed and there will be less pressure for the whole thing.
He sounds like a great guy. He's not pressuring you - or it doesn't sound like it, anyway, and is paying attention to what you like and don't. That's awesome. Keep communication open, and you all will get there. :)
Thank you for the Help. And yeah He’s been awesome and very very helpful.
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