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question about paternity testing

Okay. My daughter is 3 years old. Her dad went to prison when I was 1 months pregnant.(had my last period on the 28th of nov) I was with someone on the 11th of October. 3 days after the last time we was together (the time I got pregnant) That last guy we didn’t really had sex(on the 14th of oct 2015.)He put it in 3 times (It felt ruff so I feel he put it in over his boxers I would not know)and that was it but it has been eating me up all these years. :( my daughter doesn’t look like the man I believe to be her dad who is in prison right now. I finally decided to do a dna test. But I want to know. If I request a dna test will he get the results???! Even if he isn’t on the birth certificate????? I would tell him eventually I just feel like I need time to process if he isn’t the father.
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134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
From your dates and ultrasound results, you would have had sperm in your body from the guy on the 11th when you had sex on the 14th. So if there was sperm on the 14th from pre-ejaculatory fluid, either guy could be the dad. Your ultrasound dates don't rule it out -- there is a few days' margin for error in the 9th week, but not that many days (not even a week), so between the ultrasound, your last period, and the cramps you had that you feel indicated ovulation, it seems like there is no way to know for sure unless you go ahead with the DNA test. The one thing in the favor of the guy on the 11th is if your cramps really indicated ovulation on the 14th, since the child is a girl, he has a bit of an edge. (There is a theory that sperm carrying the chromosome for female live longer and swim slower, and sperm carrying the chromosome for male swim faster and live shorter.)

In regard to your initial question, I have not heard of any DNA testing place that insists on mailing results to both parties, it seems like they will mail the results to the person who orders the test.

It seems pretty important to think about ways that you could track down the other guy, too, if you get a negative on the guy you have always been sure was the dad.
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
You said her dad went to prison when you were 1 month pregnant. When did he leave? I assume it was after mid-October?

If you request a DNA test, your guy in prison will obviously know, because he'll need to do a mouth swab.  (Unless you are planning on claiming his DNA swab is needed for something else, but frankly, I don't think any guy being asked for a DNA swab would be fooled even if you pretended it is for Ancestry.com.) The lab won't automatically mail him the results, but surely he will want to know what they are.

The easiest way to do a DNA test without the guy in prison learning of it would be to do one with the guy from October 11 who you don't think is your child's dad. Boxers wouldn't prevent pregnancy, presumably he is still around?

Then if you get a negative for Mr. Boxers, you can apply to get a DNA test with the guy in prison, with a pretty clear idea that he is indeed the dad.

Have you ever asked the mother of the guy in prison for photographs of him at about age 1 or 2, and compared them to photos of your daughter from that time? Sometimes the match of the dad as a baby to the child as a baby can be really striking even if you don't see the resemblance of the adult to the child.
Helpful - 0
5 Comments
He went to jail around the middles of November I don’t remember the exact date only remember when I went to my (9 week 4day) ultrasound he had bearly went to jail and he knows about us getting the dna test because it all started bcoz my daughter doesn’t look like him that’s when I started to overthink. The only thing he doesn’t know is that I’m not no sure who the father is I’ve always been so sure. He doesn’t know there was another guy and I didn’t explain my self correctly. Oct 11 guy is “the dad” and( oct 13,14) is boxer guy. I say oct 13,14 bcoz the time we hooked up was 2am  oct 14. I ovulated oct 14 that night. As I had pains and that’s what matched up with the ultrasounds up to the day. I have thought about that dna test with boxer guy but I don’t know who he is. I know his face just not his name. We met at a local bar.

I know most of his family and I see a lot of resemblance he doesn’t have his mom though. but I think the guilt is what doesn’t let me see things with a clear mind. So I need a dna no matter what. I’m accepting the fact he isn’t the father so it doesn’t hurt when the results come back and I prepare myself to tell him the truth.
I meant to say I had my last period on 28th of September not nov.
On what date was your 9 week 4 day ultrasound?

You're saying your dates are,

Period beginning September 28

Sex October 11

Sex October 14

Ultrasound on _______

And what due date did they give you at that ultrasound?
Ultrasound on December 4. Measuring 9weeks 0days. With a due date of July 8.

LMP.... 9 weeks 4 days. Due date July 4. But they stayed with July 8 due date.
Hi, see my answer at the top of the page. (MedHelp is trying a different time format, and keeps anything written as a "Comment" in chronological order, but if I hit "Answer," it puts the newest at the top.)
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