Struggling to figure out what's my ocd thoughts and what is just real and normal

[So_Tired_Rn]

So I have tried to come to terms with the fact that I have it. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts and compulsions but one thing I'm struggling with. I will just give a background so that it can help you distinguish it because I can't. My OCD consists of the intrusive thoughts of: "Drink 4 bottles of water or your brother drowns tonight" but this only happens during school hours since we go to the same school. Also, "stab yourself" whenever i'm washing the knives in the dishes. I have been leaving them in the sink for someone else to clean because when I wash them, it just gets too much. And since this is anonymous I think it's alright to tell you guys since I'm sure many have them and that you most likely will not be able to trace me hahahaha. But the thing I struggle a lot with is Sexual obsessions.This feels weird telling someone to be honest so I'm not going into any detail. I just have intrusive thoughts in different forms. But one thing that I struggle with is arguments. My main thing I wanna know if what I'm thinking about is normal. Whenever I have a fight with someone I have 20 thoughts and always obsess about the smaller things and not the main thing. A lot of times this ends up with me saying something really wrong because I keep thinking about the first 5 words I said. And usually I apologize a lot apparently for no reason. At least that's what I'm told. I apologize over and over again and have to make sure the other person isn't mad still. This is because my main thought is "the only reason the fight started is because they hate you." Look, if this isn't enough info I can try to give more but just please. I need to know if my over apologizing and worrying during fights are normal thoughts and not ocd.

[specialmom]

So, you sound anxious.  There are no experts here so take what you read from each of us as our own thoughts.  :>)  Here are mine.  While everyone has anxiety to some extent and intrusive thoughts to some extent and even rituals of their own, when things begin to impede your daily life or health negatively, that is when we have to address it.  Are you there?    How often is this issue coming into play?  Are you worrying that your sexual thoughts are normal?  My contention is that anything can go on in our brain and if it stays there, anything goes.  It's okay, won't hurt anyone.  If you begin acting on some things which could be deemed deviant, that's a different matter. But if you are just thinking about them.  I'll tell you this . . .  I had a coworker that was this gorgeous, professional, highly intelligent woman who really seemed put together.  She said to me one time "you know, when I'm buying something like oranges, it is hard.  Because as I pick one up, I swear I hear 10 others upset that I'm not picking them.  :.0  Okay, dokey.  The mind is this thing that just has random odd thoughts.  Don't take those too seriously.  Think about the things that really are causing you to not live your full life and at that time, these things and thoughts could be considered a problem.  

[Paxiled]

Great advice, Mom, but don't you think the oranges would rather not be picked up?  I mean, getting picked means getting eaten, after all.  

[Paxiled]

And I'm going to say the same thing I always do, it's not necessarily OCD.  Yes, everyone is going to go to the Google machine and find out that intrusive thoughts are now often labeled OCD, but what you're describing isn't classic OCD and it's not even necessarily an anxiety disorder.  I don't know what you have or don't have, and neither do you until you go to a psychologist and get diagnosed if it's that much of a concern to you.  It could be several mental disorders I can think of and it could just be you are going through a weird time and having a lot of thoughts, some of which are disturbing.  But it's enough to me to say, you need to see a professional.  Start with that.  Get a diagnosis and a treatment plan.  The thing is, people are who they are.  Things can be just having a unique and "loud" internal personality.  Some things are an illness.  What you say sounds concerning enough to me to say seek professional help, don't diagnose yourself, and you can't be diagnosed on the internet.  As to "normal," what's that?  Who do you know who is "normal?"  Not a term human beings fit into.  We're all pretty chaotic if we let ourselves be.  So again, go see a professional and then go from there.  Peace.

[Paxiled]

And let me say again what I always say about "intrusive" thoughts.  Everyone has them.  Where would we be if Shakespeare had run to the doctor instead of quill and parchment when his mind kept thinking about a Danish Prince driven mad by the murder of his father?  Or Stephen King had run to the doctor because he kept getting thoughts from nowhere about a haunted house or a haunted dog or a haunted car or -- well, he's a bit repetitive, but you get the picture.  Everyone has thoughts and nobody knows where they come from.  It's only a problem when the thoughts overwhelm us or we become afraid of them.  It's not the thoughts that are an illness, it's the nature of them and the nature of our reaction to them.  So again, intrusive thoughts aren't a disease.  Anxiety or bipolar or the like are diseases.  Until we know which is which we can't make a plan to deal with it.  Peace again.

[Scott_1977]

No, I definitely don't think your thoughts can be classified as "normal". I would say it's OCD.