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Still worried and losing it

Just to preface the craziness you're about to read, I have major HIV anxiety, so bear with me.

I just got back from the OB/GYN because I found some white spots on my girl parts. I already have Lichens Sclerosis (LS) down there and thought it was that, as it causes tearing and scarring of the delicate tissues and I tear easily, even if I'm just wiping - NOPE, its genital warts and I'm freaking out. They said it was most likely a dormant infection from my ex-husband, who did have a genital wart breakout about 20 years ago, and I am experiencing an outbreak now due to either being immuno-compromised or high levels of stress (they're leaning towards stress, bad eating habits, barely sleeping, etc) but MY brain says its something more sinister because I haven't been the smartest with the guys I've dated since my divorce last year (there's only been 2, but still, its 2 with unprotected encounters)

So here I am again, thinking I'm dying even though I have taken one blood test in December (negative) and 3 OraQuick at-home HIV tests since March, and all were negative - one was 71 days after guy A, then one 130 days after guy A and 41 days after last time with guy B, and another just 2 weeks ago, which is almost 7 months after guy A and 90 days ago
after the last time with guy B.

But what if they're wrong? I do take Truvada for PreP and I know that could effect a test result, so what if that's the case here? I got really sick back in December, 3 weeks after sleeping with guy A (woke up on 12/27/19 and had a sore throat & headache that turned into a cough ans sneezing which then turned into bronchitis/URI that lasted 2 more weeks) but my PCP wasn't concerned. I was started on PeP after that encounter, took a month and started PreP.

I'm at loss here - part of me knows this is my brain acting out, but part of me is very scared.
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3191940 tn?1447268717
COMMUNITY LEADER
Talk to your doctor about your anxiety issue, and about testing. Your anxiety issue is the primary concern here.
Helpful - 0
3 Comments
Thank you, CurfewX - they said no further testing was needed, the at-home tests were sufficient.  I clearly need anxiety meds though....
Please do seek out help, for your own good.  There's no reason that you have to live with crippling anxiety like this.  Take care of yourself, please.
Well, you might not need meds.  You might only need therapy.  Depends on how crippling your anxiety is.  Therapy can cure, drugs can only treat symptoms.  But please, make us all happy and stop having unprotected sex.  Thanks.
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