How do I cope with the occasional use of meth by my spouse?

[PointZero]

My 52 year old husband of 25 years has always had addiction problems - alcohol, marijuana, and crystal meth.  Over the years he has stopped using meth and alcohol on and off.  He drinks several times a week, and becomes drunk about once a week.  But the meth is the worst.  He uses it once a month, sometimes every other week, sometimes not for six months.  But he is always going back to it, always lying about it, and always refusing to get help.  He just lies and says he done whenever I try to get him help.  We have two older children who still live with us, and I don't make enough money to leave.  I feel trapped - maybe I trapped myself.  But I have been dealing with this for so long, and I'm getting older and not sure my health can take the stress.  If he doesn't change - which he won't - I need to leave at some point.  But how do I leave when I don't make enough money, and how do I deal with the stress of his intermittent meth use and behavior at home while I stay?  Is there anyone who is older in this forum that has dealt with an addicted spouse for decades?

[mombojombo]

That's rough. Meth isn't a casual use drug.  Your spouse with addiction issues is using.  I'm sorry to hear that.  I think he's still active in his addiction.  Would you guess that he also uses other times you don't know about?  I feel for you so much.  I really do.  What has caused you to stay all this time?  The money issue?  That's what gets a lot of people.  Have you been to al anon before?  This might really help.  You need support people in your life.  We can do that here!  Sorry i just saw your post.  You'd get alimony likely if you left, correct?  Would you go if you could afford it?