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Lied to bf about birth control

So ill try to make this brief. I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past 2 months and im in bliss. Well 2 days ago we hung out and had smoked weed and i took a couple of shots, later that night we ended up having intercourse however in the heat of the moment i asked him to ejaculate in me, i told him i was on bc when im actually in between changing forms bc the pill i was on is giving me weird headaches so i was getting the shot soon. Once we were done i felt extremely horrible about it especially since what i told him being high wasn't a real form of birth control. He actually told me he never heard of a implant being in your leg for birth control and out of fear i told him i was high af (which i was) and it was the depo shot in my thigh area and i got things mixed up, dont think he bought it but i was too scared to admit that I ****** up. I already took plan b and i truly wasn't trying to trap him or anything i really like him and got caught in the moment. He has extremely bad trust issues with women so that's what is really messing with me. Idk what to do or even how to go about this- like i said i feel very horrible about doing that to him and honestly im a honest person so i don't know what came over me....im very lost as to why i said that.
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495284 tn?1333894042
Moving in together within 2 months seems rather soon.  Getting to know someone takes time.  Did he ask you to move in?
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2 Comments
I'll be honest i said/thought the same however im in a but situation living with my family and its so draining that ill just take a chance but in the back of my mind im kinda wondering
You're already there.  Maybe a little soon, agree. But now, just try to stay calm as you work through some of the struggles of being a new couple.  :>)  I hope it all works out.
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi.  Welcome sweetie.  I think sometimes when we are under the influence, we say and do things we might not otherwise.  You were with your boyfriend which is a safe person.  I'm not sure why you asked him to ejaculate in you and all of the other information you gave him but this is one of those 'it is what it is' moments.  :>) Do not totally beat yourself up here but let's try to mitigate the damage and move on. So, you could act like you aren't fully sure what you said.  You took plan B so won't get pregnant from it. Whew!  That's good, right?  One thing solved in the situation.   Who knows why you said it.  I wouldn't try to  analyze it.  Just accept it happened and now minimize what you told him. Tell him you were all buzzed up and feel bad about that.  Want to be more careful in the future with that. :>)  Just kind of be evasive and move on.  You're good.  No real harm done.  I want you to know that plan B though will mess up your period for a little while, so expect that.  You will most likely be irregular for 2 to 3 months after taking it as it is a lot of hormones in the system.  Don't freak out about that, it's normal.  Hang in there.  hugs
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9 Comments
Im in tears from reading this, thank you so much. I have never lied to a man about something like this so i was confused to why i even said it but you are right wants done is done. I told a close Male friend about this and he made me feel horrible to the point where self harm was on my mind, but hearing this has helped abit and I'll try not to beat myself up for it.
No. Don't you worry about it.  And don't tell anyone else.  And don't act like this ever happened. You did plan B, you were responsible.  You're good.  Seriously, I can tell how sincere you are and that you know it was a mistake.  So, take it to your grave and you are better prepared for next time.  Do you self harm?  Like cutting?  I've learned a bit about that lately and know that it is used as a coping mechanism. But there are better ways or things to do.  Do you know anything about DBT therapy?  It's like CBT which is also good but really effective for cutting urges.
Thank you for this. Im only really worried about him to start questioning me now and being less trusting since he caught me in a lie technically but im taking this to the grave ;) no ive never hurt myself before
Okay, glad you don't self harm.  There are helplines to call if you are considering it.  Try not to let your anxiety get out of control with this.  No real harm was caused.  Just don't really talk about it, evade the issue and move on. You'll be okay.  hugs
Its been a couple of day's since this post and im feeling better but im noticing he hasn't mentioned anything about me moving in anymore which was supposed to be next weekend. He seems to have lost some trust in me which i get but it really was a heat of the moment thing and i still haven't told him. I still however feel like crap and just pissed at myself like I might have blew a potentially good relationship
I think telling the "close Male friend" the story was a mistake. First of all, he made you feel terrible. You didn't need his help to know it was a mistake, and he is a jerk to come down on you like that. Second, you don't know if he has his own reasons to want to tell this story to other people. When you said you are going to take this secret to the grave, I wish you had taken it to the grave before you blabbed it to this supposedly close male friend. You have NO idea what his secret agendas might be with your information.

Ask your boyfriend if you're still on for this weekend, in a casual way. Try to relax. And button your lip about your little error and I mean forever and don't tell close friends.
(And, don't talk any more to the supposedly "close" friend about it either, even to try to find out if he blabbed the story around. Just let go and move on. Deal with it only if your boyfriend mentions it.)
I hate to say this but im not worried due to things he's told me. Like he has done some bs that most ppl would be pissed about and he did call to apologize
I'm glad he apologized.  I would agree to just keep this to yourself and not talk to that guy again about it.  Also agree to try to just move on like this didn't happen. :>  It will be okay, hon.
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