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pls help, who's the father??

Hey so I'm in a bit of a sticky situation. (first time ever doing this).
My LMP was July 22-25. Average cycle days (28-31, mostly 31)
Ovulation day was 08/8, doctors conception date 08/5
Slept w/guy 1 08/03, 08/11, 08/13 no protection, pull out
Guy 2 08/05 going into 08/06 (2am) no protection, finished.
08/14 I noticed my breast were tender.
Due date 04/28
Me & guy 1 did 2 rounds on 08/03 but I physically seen him pull out and he did wipe off and wash before we began the next round. We also had sex on my ovulation day in June (pull out method) & I did not get pregnant. I know that precum can get you pregnant but it is very rare being 4 out of 100 people. Who is most likely to be the father??
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134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
How did your doctor get the due date of April 28, was it from an ultrasound? If so, how early in your pregnancy was that?

You say "Ovulation day was 8/8, doctors conception date 8/5," but both things can't be true. Where did you get the "ovulation day," from an app?

If I'm understanding the timeline, things went like this:

July 22 -- first day of period
August 3 -- sex (unprotected, without ejaculati0n in your body but with penetration again after ejaculation)
August 5 -- sex (unprotected, with ejaculating in your body)
August 5 -- doctor's estimate of conception day
August 8 -- sex (with pulling out)
August 8 -- estimate of ovulation day from other source
August 11 -- sex (with pulling out)
August 14 -- pregnancy symptom (breast soreness)

Two things about this timeline make it hard to suggest which guy has the stronger chance of being the dad.  One is that the guys were very close together in time. Sperm from the first guy on the 3rd (from his first ejaculation, which is not "pre-cum") would have still been alive in your system when you had sex with the second guy on the 5th. (Sperm can live in your system 4-6 days.) The other problem is not knowing the answers to the above questions. If your doctor gave you the due date based on an early ultrasound, you can toss out whatever source told you that you ovulated on the 8th. Calculating from one's last period is inaccurate compared to using an early ultrasound to measure the date of conception.

Just for your future information, having more sex after ejaculation works about as well as if he finished inside you, whether he wiped off and pulled out or not. After an ejaculation, your guy had masses of sperm inside his urethra (out of range of washing the exterior of his penis, and a lot of them out of range even of him peeing). There are millions of sperm in one ejaculation; thousands at least would have been waiting to take a ride in the pre-ejaculatory fluid for the next erection into your body. It's not "pre cum" that gets you pregnant, that fluid (from the Cowper's gland) is sterile. It's the passengers on the pre-ejaculatory fluid bus. And there can be a lot of those, when a guy has just ejaculated.

My suggestion is that you either do a prenatal DNA test, seeing if both guys will help you share the cost (it's expensive) or wait until the baby is born and do a DNA test with both guys then. (DNA testing after the baby comes is about ten times cheaper than doing it before the baby is born.) If one of the guys balks at doing a test after the baby is born, you can get him to do so by court order.

I kind of doubt the August 8 date for ovulation if the date the doctor gave you was the 5th, unless the ultrasound was really late in your pregnancy, at which point it could be inaccurate for the purpose of identifying a conception date. But even if you knew for sure what day you ovulated, it still leaves the identity of the father something of an open question because you had sex with both within three days, and the first sex (though you wrote it off because of the pulling out) did have plenty of opportunity to put sperm in your body due to you going back for a second round.
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sorry for the confusion, timeline:
July 22- first day of period
Aug 3rd: (unprotected, pull out)
Aug 5th: (day of conception & unprotected, finished)
Aug 11: (unprotected, pull out)
My conception from my OB was given to me prior to my ultrasound. my first ultrasound was 09/23/2021, 9w0d
Did the ob change anything based on what the measurements of the baby were on September 23?
(I mean, if he originally gave you the estimated conception date without reference to an ultrasound, did he say anything like "These measurements confirm the conception date we had already assumed" once he saw the ultrasound?)
He did confirm the measurements after the ultrasound. Does the extra round me and Guy 1 did makes his chances of being the father higher even tho he pulled out? I have told both possible fathers that it could  be theirs.
I'm also having a boy, will that play a role in anything?
Is Guy 1 chances higher because he was first?
A boy means your egg got fertilized by a sperm carrying a male chromosome, which swim really fast and die sooner. But both guys' male sperm would have been alive in your body on the 5th.

I don't think the first guy's chances are higher, though the idea that his sperm might have been sitting in your Fallopian tube waiting when you ovulated on the 5th has some intuitive appeal. This theory would require the doctor's estimate of the 5th as the day of ovulation to be spot-on. But by the 9th week, if a doc gives an estimate of a conception date based on an ultrasound, he or she often says "give or take 1-2 days" or even a little more, because babies can develop at different rates. If the estimate of the 5th was off by a couple of days, the first guy's male sperm could have become non-viable by the 7th. So, where we have the interesting idea that the first guy's sperm were up in the tube waiting for the egg when it came out, we also have the counter-possibility that the 5th was not precisely the day of ovulation. And again, it's luck of the draw even if the 5th was precisely the day, because the other guy with his full ejaculation was also right there on that day. You likely had thousands of sperm from the first guy and millions from the other in your body when you ovulated, and it just takes one sperm.
I'm glad you have told both guys, the women in this community who have the hardest time are those who are trying to hide the fact that they had sex with one guy from the other. At least you can talk openly about the need to test. (And, as I said, you do have the legal right to require them both to test if it came to that, so don't feel you are in a pickle.)
Thank you so much for all of your help and taking the time out to actually respond to my questions! I have one more question, do you think it makes sense to test both guys or should I just test one?
Test both guys. One will get a yes and the other will get a no, and the results of each guy will act as a cross-check on the other's test so nobody will ever have to wonder if the test had been wrong.
Me & Guy 1 nipp is schedule for today, will update with results!
Great! If you are using a top lab like Ravgen or the DDC, it should tell you what you need to know.
Just an update, I am locked out of my other page. Guy 1 came back as the father for my prenatal test which is good but I’m still having some doubts. It still doesn’t make sense to me but my baby boy will be here in less than a week so I’ll be able to see who he looks like!
"Still having some doubts" is why I tell women to test with both men. Anyway, congratulations on the baby boy coming soon! Babies are the best.
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