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Erection problems during sex at first dates and performance anxiety in general
Erection problems at first date
Hi! As the title suggests, I have some problems getting it up and keeping my erection when meeting someone for the first time.
I’m 32 years old, good looking, physically healthy and have no problems getting it up and keeping it firm when I masturbate. I do watch porn on a daily basis but I’m willing to stop.
I had my first time when I was 15 and had these sexual performance issues at first dates since the very beginning of my active sexlive. It’s really frustrating at this point since I feel like I was never really able to enjoy my single life and had a lot of missed opportunities.
I am in therapy atm for various reasons and have been able to discuss the subject with my therapist. She actually helped me overcome my fear of rejection a couple of times and I met a girl which didn’t really mind my little problems. Like I wrote, it’s not only getting it up but also keeping it there and condoms are usually making the problems worse. Anyway After a few failed attempts I was able to have enjoyable sex with this girl.
This was about one year ago and the only sexual encounter I had since then was with a prostitute. I ended up jerking off while she was on top of me because intercourse was just not possible. I wasn’t too sad about it since she was a professional anyway and didn’t seem to care at all.
Last weekend I went to a music festival and ended up flirting with a really cute girl. She seemed quite invested in me and I really liked her too. So at some point we made out and I started touching her more intensely. She was definitely dtf and so was I until I had her lying next to me in my tent. I panicked a little and thought I might be able to perform the next morning. So I suggested to nap for a while but she said she wanted to dance and left. She was probably fed up at this point… this really hurt me as I wanted to get to know her better and I feel like it could not only have bee nice night for both of us but also the beginning of a relationship would I not have backed off.
Anyone else here who had similar problems and was able to overcome them permanently? Any help would be appreciated even if it’s “just” emotional support*
My personal strategy:
#1 (Hypno)therapy to treat the root cause of my anxiety induced performance issues.
#2 exposure therapy - to meet women and learn to get comfortable around them especially in this situation.
#3 getting a prescription for an ED-treatment pill as a last resort.
Thanks so much in advance!
All the best, Chris
Hi! As the title suggests, I have some problems getting it up and keeping my erection when meeting someone for the first time.
I’m 32 years old, good looking, physically healthy and have no problems getting it up and keeping it firm when I masturbate. I do watch porn on a daily basis but I’m willing to stop.
I had my first time when I was 15 and had these sexual performance issues at first dates since the very beginning of my active sexlive. It’s really frustrating at this point since I feel like I was never really able to enjoy my single life and had a lot of missed opportunities.
I am in therapy atm for various reasons and have been able to discuss the subject with my therapist. She actually helped me overcome my fear of rejection a couple of times and I met a girl which didn’t really mind my little problems. Like I wrote, it’s not only getting it up but also keeping it there and condoms are usually making the problems worse. Anyway After a few failed attempts I was able to have enjoyable sex with this girl.
This was about one year ago and the only sexual encounter I had since then was with a prostitute. I ended up jerking off while she was on top of me because intercourse was just not possible. I wasn’t too sad about it since she was a professional anyway and didn’t seem to care at all.
Last weekend I went to a music festival and ended up flirting with a really cute girl. She seemed quite invested in me and I really liked her too. So at some point we made out and I started touching her more intensely. She was definitely dtf and so was I until I had her lying next to me in my tent. I panicked a little and thought I might be able to perform the next morning. So I suggested to nap for a while but she said she wanted to dance and left. She was probably fed up at this point… this really hurt me as I wanted to get to know her better and I feel like it could not only have bee nice night for both of us but also the beginning of a relationship would I not have backed off.
Anyone else here who had similar problems and was able to overcome them permanently? Any help would be appreciated even if it’s “just” emotional support*
My personal strategy:
#1 (Hypno)therapy to treat the root cause of my anxiety induced performance issues.
#2 exposure therapy - to meet women and learn to get comfortable around them especially in this situation.
#3 getting a prescription for an ED-treatment pill as a last resort.
Thanks so much in advance!
All the best, Chris
Performance anxiety and insecurity are rough. Sometimes we get stuck in our own head. I think you need to work on that aspect, coping and managing your emotions long before ED medication (which would be misappropriate usage if for mental health reasons verses physical reasons). Have you ever thought of a therapist? You mention ERP which is great. It works well for anxiety and ocd thoughts/ocd conditions.
Most men have this at some point. You need a successful experience to remind your brain that you can have it. so, hoping for that for you. Do you ejaculate super quickly or just have erection issues?
Most men have this at some point. You need a successful experience to remind your brain that you can have it. so, hoping for that for you. Do you ejaculate super quickly or just have erection issues?
Overcoming Fear of Sexual Performance
With your lover, be honest. Discussing your nervousness with your spouse may reduce some of your fears.
Explore different ways to get close. Find out how to feel intimate without having sex.
Get distracted. Play a hot movie or some lovable music while you make love.
With your lover, be honest. Discussing your nervousness with your spouse may reduce some of your fears.
Explore different ways to get close. Find out how to feel intimate without having sex.
Get distracted. Play a hot movie or some lovable music while you make love.
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