weird thoughts

[Atemyself]

I've always struggled with my mental health but due to the fact I have a stable job, people dismiss it. Even professionals. One of the things that I'm currently struggling with is the idea that I'm cursed. I'm not spiritual, I know it's unreal, it's stupid, it's not the truth but I can see the evidence. When I meet someone their lives start getting worse and worse. Specially if they are/were my partner. The most recent three (I've only had 4 partners) were collected, employed and charismatic beings and ended up being either depressed or obsessive jobless lifeless shells. However once I disappear from their lives, they get better. Same with friendships, although I don't get too close to people, not enought to call them friends. Writing about it makes me feel stupid but I want to know if someone else has this issues too and what they do about it. I know it's not real but it still bothers me. It's a pattern and I feel I should just never have s partner or friend.

[specialmom]

You know what? We can have all sorts of thoughts. It does NOT make them true. I have a son with intrusive thought ocd. And in reality, EVERYONE has them from time to time. That doesn't make them real. Think of it as brain activity. And confirmation bias can make us see things in certain ways. The thing is? Shake it off. Then taking on responsibility that you are 'bad luck'? That's not true. And people in your life do not see you that way. Shake it off. Get therapy if you need to. Thoughts and our mind can lie to us. Hang in there.