An update for you all, which hopefully be of help to some ...
I posted this question regarding maintaining penetration strength erections above some 2 years ago and also the related post which was replied to by Dr Janice M Epp, PhD.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Erection-Concerns/Maintaining-Penetration-Strength-Erection-/show/583174
Dr Epp focused on the issue as being mainly psychological and at the time that made some sense, however my issues with maintaining penetration strength erections as opposed to getting an erection (or semi-erection) had always been there. This was not something new to me, all my sexual life it had been the same. In truth, I did not actually realise until much later on in life that this was not the norm.
Since posting the above, I've done the doctors visits, viagra/levitra/cialis therapies (which all helped to some degree but did not solve the problem) culminating in a visit about 6 months ago to a Urologist who confirmed the cause was PHYSICAL and not psychological. I've was diagnosed with a Venous Leak.
Venous Leak Definition - "An erection is produced when blood to the penis compress the veins in the corpora cavernosa so the blood cannot leave. Venous leakage is a result of these veins not closing well enough to retain the blood, and the erection is lost." - Wikipedia
My Venous leak is a naturally occurring physical condition affecting somewhere between 5 and 10% of men according to my urologist. There are various degrees of Venous Leaks Mild, Medium, Severe. Mine is mild/medium and the urologist advised that there is no cure. Previously surgery was advised but the surgical interventions in the past have proved ineffective and so this course is no longer advised in terms of curing the condition. Essentially the urologist advised that the condition cannot be cured, but using viagra/cialise/levitra and appropriate penis rings (**** rings) around the base and shaft can provide extended durations and stronger erection. But again it is not a cure, merely something that improves things. In Severe cases penile implants are considered an option, but fortunately my case is Mild/Medium in that I can get erections to some degree.
Though there is no easy cure for my condition, I must say I felt quite relieved in many ways. My condition is not my fault, it is not in my head, there is nothing psychologically wrong with me. Yes it is a physical condition but I feel very fortunate in many ways I have three beautiful children, a lovely wife and though my sex life is probably under par there are so many worse conditions in life that people have to contend with. Believe it or not, knowing that your condition isn't your fault, that it is nothing you've done or not done, that you are normal psychologically, is a huge relief ! I'm going to work hard on my Kegel exercises, experiment with different rings, and use Viagra/Levitra/Cialis until I find the best combination for me.
To you guys suffering out there, and I know personally that the mental anguish of this is enormous, I would earnestly encourage you to search for and find an understanding Doctor to whom you can really talk and if his advice doesn't work, get to a good Urologist and keep banging on doors until to you get the answers that help you ! Above all remember, it's not your fault ... it's nothing you did or didn't do ... it's very very common to have such problems, just go get help and don't stop banging on doors until you get the answers that help you !