I cannot cope with losing my mom

[abby51]

My mom suddenly and unexpectedly died 2 weeks ago It has been a horrible couple of weeks. I am extremely worried about my dad and how he will cope. He keeps saying he is ok but I know better than that because we are having the worst days of out lives. We have a great support system of friends, however, all I want is my mom to be back. She had not been ill and stopped talking and just died. I never expected to be so young (I am a college student) and going through this. I know it is not easy at any age but I just though we would have more time. People have told me I need to learn to work through the pain but I do not think that can be done. The funeal arrangements and the funeral itself were very overwhelming...almost 350 people were at the funeral...and I know all those people were there for support but very few of them understand the pain we are feeling of losing my mom so suddenly and unexpected.

[Omg_its_me_topper]

Judy no offence but you can't really relate to Abby. Loosing your mum at such a young age is the hardest thing to accept in all of this my mum dropped down dead at 53 and all I keep thinking is why was she taking from us at such a young age when she should still be here living her life. Judy your mum and dad have had a good life together don't get me wrong it's always hard loosing a parent but at such a young age? It just isn't fair. I'm gutted my mum never got to see me get married and grow up I'm only 25

[DERTHER]

I'M NOT HAPPY,I'M NOT OKAY . MY MOM DIED LAST YEAR ON FATHER'S DAY a DAY I HAVE NEVER CELEBRATED IN MY LIFE IT'S ALWAYS BEEN JUST ME AND MY MOM. SHE WAS FINE THE NIGHT BEFORE THEN THAT MORNING SHE WAS YELLING AT ME THROUGH MY WINDOW CALLING ME NAMES SAYING I STOLE HER MEDICINE . THEN SHE WOULD SAY SHE'S CALLING THE POLICE ON ME SAID I WAS A RAPE BABY ALL THESE HORRIBLE THINGS . I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG I TOLD PAPABEAR TO CALL 911 AND GET HER AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE SHE WOULD COME TO MY WINDOW EVERY HOUR SAYING THE SAME THINGS. I HAVE A PANIC DISORDER SO I PANICKED . I NEVER WOULD'VE THOUGHT MY WORLD WAS GOING TO END THAT DAY AND MY MOM WAS BEING TAKEN FROM ME , I COULDN'T FIX HER . I COULD ALWAYS FIX HER , IF SHE HAD THE FLU I WOULD NURSE HER BACK TO HEALTH, IF SHE HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I WOULD MAKE SURE I DIDN'T LEAVE HER ALONE, IF SHE WAS HUNGRY , I COULD COOK HER A MEAL IF SHE WAS COLD I WOULD GIVE HER A WARM PLACE TO LAY HER HEAD THE LIST GOES ON BUT THIS TIME I COULDN'T FIX HER . SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH SMALL CELL LUNG CANCER AND THEY GAVE HER 6 MONTHS TO LIVE , I COULDN'T FIX HER , I NEVER FELT SO ANGRY and HELPLESS IN MY LIFE I THOUGHT GETTING SOBER WAS HARD . MY MOM HAD JUST TURNED 61 SHE WAS FINE ONE DAY, DIAGNOSED THE NEXT AND DEAD 4 MONTHS LATER. THE SKY IS DULL THE SUN IS NEVER GOING TO SHINE AS BRIGHT FOR ME EVER AGAIN THERE'S JUST A DULL GRAY HAZE , LIKE A FILM OVER IT . I'M SO TIRED OF PEOPLE THINKING I'M JUST FINE AND DANDY I'M NOT HAPPY I'M NOT OKAY I HAVE A DOCTOR BUT NOTHING HELPS. MY FAITH USE TO BE BIGGER THAN I WAS NOW I'M JUST HOLDING ONTO MY MUSTARD SEED. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME !I'M SHRINKING TO NOTHING CAN'T EAT . I'M FALLING INTO THE QUICKSAND AND THERE'S NOBODY THERE TO HELP ME GET OUT . THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT . IT IS FINAL . WILL I SEE HER AGAIN

[PatsyLynn0323]

Yes! Losing my mom at 27 has tortured me. I don't even know how to go on with life I feel debilitating depression daily and have panic attacks as I remember her lifeless body lying on a cold metal slab in a hospital nightgown. I wasn't able to give her a proper burial as she had no life insurance and I had to apply for financial assistance. She told me many times while alive that she didn't want to be cremated and I feel immense guilt for having to cremate her. I didn't see her in the two months before her death and it kills me I never truly got to say goodbye. She passed in a rehabilitation nursing home alone. I'm scared she died not knowing I loved her more than my own life.

[specialmom]

I'm so sorry.  I lost my mom around the same age.  It's painful to this day.  hugs

[JStar11]

Losing your mother is the worst pain any person will feel. I lost my mother suddenly February 20, 2015. I am now 25 and it still hurts like it was just yesterday. She passed from suffering a stroke in church and I was the last person in my family to see her, joyfully on her way to praise the lord as she did every Sunday. My mom and I lived together for 11 yrs just us two, so being surrounded by all of her things and being alone to grieve is one of the worst feelings ever. My mom was so positive and although I try to be as well it's still really difficult. I am now 5 months pregnant, and all I do is wish my mother would have the chance to meet her granddaughter. For me the pain has never really subsided. I just try to remember all of our good times, and keep faith and know we will be reunited one day again.

[SunshineNelson]

Amen! My prayers to you and your family and for a healthy and happy baby girl.  I know I will see my mother again and that she is proud of the woman I am today as I continue to honor her and her memory.  I know you are doing the same as well.  God Bless

[mommysgirlsis]

I lost my beautiful mommy 17 days ago its unbearable it was sudden so sudden and unexpected its like a horrible nightmare that still don't seem real I can't get over this she always did whatever she had to no matter how hard for her family I feel like I failed her I should have known something was wrong

[mommysgirlsis]

I lost my beautiful mommy 17 days ago its unbearable it was sudden so sudden and unexpected its like a horrible nightmare that still don't seem real I can't get over this she always did whatever she had to no matter how hard for her family I feel like I failed her I should have known something was wrong

[SunshineNelson]

I lost my mother on December 11, 2015 and it has been the worst few weeks of my life. She died suddenly and she was not sick at all.  We went out the night before and the next morning when I came over to my parents house as I did every morning, my father and I found her passed away.  It is devastating and there are days when I just don't know how to cope and how to live on without her.  We did a lot together and talked at least 5-10 a day and I saw her at least 3 times a day.  She was one of my best friends.  I am the woman I am today because of her and I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.  My father is doing the best he possibly can, but I am still in shock and disbelief.  My husband has been a great support for me as he has also suffered the loss of a parent but I just wonder when this heart break will heal.

[Conja]

My heart breaks reading everyone's comments here I lost my adorable mother on the 23 December 2015 and I'm just not coping I don't know how I can ever be me again I'm an only child and mum and I had a amazing relationship she was my life my world I don't know what else I can say I visit the cemetery every day I just want my mum back I feel I'm going crazy I'm empty and heartbroken what can I do will the pain get better ?

[tmb13]

Everyones stories are very sad, I too lost my beloved mother 2 weeks ago Dec 19.  Kept saying she felt constipated, went to hospital for help and five minutes before I got there they called me and said she was in full cardiac arrest.  I used to talk to my mom at least 10 times a day to see if she was ok because she lived alone my father passed 16 years ago.  
I am just having a very difficult time realizing I won't see her again until it is my turn to return home.  I try to keep busy, but that burning pain in my heart and stomach won't stop, it seems surreal, it was so sudden I just talked to her one hour before so she could tell me what hospital.  

[mglesther]

Oh, No,, i am the same.. i lost my mom a month ago in so sudden way, exactly same thing, i was talking on the phone  a day or two before she passed away. i could see her because of my flight was delayed.. now i am so lost , so devastated.. i am 30 too but now husband or kids... i dont know what to do...

[Sara27motherless]

Hi Abby51,
My deepest condolences to you.
Your not alone.
My mum died 4 months ago. Cancer. Only one ur diagnosis. She was 52. So young. Didn't get to see me or my sister get married which was her dream. So full of life. I still cry every single night and haven't dreamt of her since. The pain is so bad that I'm willing to give anything I have just to see her again. I feel like I'm never gona find happiness and peace n it's so unfair because we are so young. Just like your self. I'm 26.
I'm sorry to hear about ur mums tragic passing:( how did it happen?
Hope I can't help u in anyway possible

[brendondio]

I know how most of ya'll fell I lost my mother when I was twelve and right know I am 18. it has passed 6 years and I still miss her and dream of her all the time but I also know tat I am not alone thanks to god I have a family that takes care of me. yes at first it takes long to not have a family member especially an important family member with you, but know that ya'll are not alone there is always people out there that have gone through the same things as you. like I said I know that at fist it I hard but later you start to relize many things . know getting into that kids, teens, and even adults can grow up thnking that the losse of there parent is there faut but its not your fault. children teens and adults do things or things happen to thrm for a reason don't think that its all ur fault that's how I used to feel but now thst I am 18 I see and relize many things.
I hope that my words / cmments helped ya'll

[akudela]

This is similar to what just happened to me, no chance to say goodbye. My mom lives in Ghana and had been gone for a few hours before me and sisters in the US found out. I wanted to die, its been almost 8 weeks and it feels like yesterday. It was so sudden and unexpected it feels like my sense of security has been taken away from me. I am not suicidal but I wish I was not here. People keep telling to try and be ok so my Mom can rest in peace but it's so hard just to accept this. I am so thankful to God she came to visit and just left the US in April, then in August she is just gone. The pain in unbearable. RachMcl I believe your Mom is watching, I have dreamt about my mom twice and I hope it happens every night because then I feel close to her. I read that writing to her in a journal helps. I have not tried it myself buy I plan to. May God give you strength.

[Djdonna100]

Hi rachmcl. Very sorry to hear of your loss. I had a very similar thing happen to me. I lost my mum suddenly on 18th October 2014. I woke up one morning and got a phone call from my dad to say she'd been taken ill and was on a life support and hours later it was switched off, she never came around and I never got a chance to say bye. 24 hours before this she was fine and making cakes. The autopsy showed she had acute pancreatitis cause by debris in her pancreas which led to multiple organ failure. No reason for it, she wasn't. A big drinker and was a healthy 66 year old.
My mum really was my best friend, we did everything together. If I didn't see her for a day I would be in the phone several times a day. Nearly a year on I still cry myself to sleep every night. It makes me so sad she now won't get to see her grandchildren grow up and she lived for them.
I can't say I know how you feel as everyone is different but I understand what you are going through, I too remember the first couple of weeks not believing or feeling it was real. I was walking around seeing everyone getting on with their lives thinking... This awful thing has just happened to me. What did my mum do to deserve this.
I did see a counsellor and I think it helped a bit although nothing can take the pain away.
If I can given any advice - talk about her as much as you can and see friends as much as you can, I wouldn't still be standing here now if it wasn't for the amazing friends, husband and family I have.
I am still taking each day as it comes and trying to keep busy but the evening are hardest.
Take care and be strong!

[RachMcl]

My mum passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago.
We were due to go on holiday two days afterwards. She was so happy, I told a joke, she laughed, and mid laugh she was just gone. It was beyond sudden. The cause of death is still inconclusive but we have been told we will get the full PM results in 2/3 months.
The past 2 weeks have been a bit of a blur. I have went back to college and I'm trying to make her proud but sometimes I don't see the point in being here at all. She won't see me get married or have kids.
I believe that she is watching over me. Do you all believe that? Please help me get through this. I don't know if I can.

[ValMae012014]

We lost our Mom last July 28. I miss her everyday and I would give anything to see her again. She was diagnosed with lung cancer stage IV with enlargement of the heart last March. It came as a surprise also when she died because she always tells us she's okay. She only stayed in the hospital for 6 hours before the doctor declared her time of death.
Last week was so overwhelming since my siblings and I prepared everything for her funeral. I'm still blaming my father for my mother's death because he always stresses her. He shouts at her even when she was sick.

I'm hoping that you still have your father with you, so you can cope with your loss together. Because from where I stand, the bond between us (I and my 3 siblings) and our father broke when our mother died.

I always talk to my mom. I can still smell her. I watch her videos so I will never forget her voice. When I'm at my lowest, I know what she would tell me. Let's cope with our losses together. We'll be okay in God's time. This too shall pass. We'll see them in the right time.

[Learivs1990]

I am reading these comments and I am beginning to not feel alone. My mum died suddenly and totally unexpectedly last week. She was 51 and I am 24. I know it is still recent and I know the pain will never leave me but I am getting married in a week and a half and I don't know how to even get up in the morning let alone do something so important. I just don't know what to do. Reading that I am not alone in these feelings help. My mum was my best friend and was so excited for our big day. I am just an empty shell right now..

[sherbsville]

My mum was stolen from me Jan 25th. I've read through all these posts, and my heart is breaking for each and every one of you.

I still don't believe it.How can my Mum be gone?! I feel like I'm in a play too Helen. It doesn't feel real, yet at the same time I can't stop sobbing and screaming.

It was Mums birthday March 11th, mine March 8th, her funeral March 4th and it's Mothers day on Sunday(there's gonna be an inquest, so I daren't detail what happened, other than to say, she should still be here)Why did they do this to my mum? I don't see how I can get through this. I don't want to get through this. I'm meant to be strong for my dad, but all I want is my Mum to come home. I need my mum, and I don't know how to fix this.

I'm the one who made her go to the outpatient procedure. It's my fault. We both had bad feelings about it. the day before she said she wasn't ready to leave me yet. She begged me not to make her go, that they were going to kill her. I'd been saying to dad, we need to change the appointment. He said what if we change it, and something happens, then it is our fault. He said she'd be home in a few hours, it's a simple thing. the morning of the procedure, Mum again begged me not to make her go. I lied, and told her it'd be ok. I remember looking at her, and thinking, if she dies, you will remember for the rest of your life that you lied to your Mum. I hope the rest of my life isn't long, so I don't have this pain anymore.

I'm sorry this is so long, I didn't mean it to be. I just need my mum. My mum will make it better. I'm 41, well, 42 now. My Mum was 80, but a good 80. Fully independent, smart, funny, and so so kind. Why out of all the people in the world did they have to torture my mum to death.

[Helen1969]

Hi I lost my mum 3 weeks ago I cried the first week was numb and went quiet the second , we had her funeral 2 days ago and now I feel that I'm living in some sort of play!!! I miss her so much we was so close, she was 78 and I'm 51 I feel sad as I wanted more time with her
I have to go to work but I am a manager of a care home for the elderly which is so hard.
I am so lost

[trm99]

Thought i'd check the internet to see if there are a few or possibly many going through whats happened in my life lately. Seems there are. Youngest son of three boys. Gotta say a true momma's boy from the start. She fell from a ladder oct 14th. Minutes after we just talked….and i'm the one who found her. So its been three months. Stuffed myself in building projects to occupy my thought racing brain. Stuffed myself in booze to ease the heartache. Stuffed myself with anger because theres nothing that I can do for my her, now. And thats probably been the toughest. I'm thirty-four without children and spent the last few years of my life traveling and fulfilling what i thought was my own mark in life. Like achieving; turning over all the rocks to see whats hidden. But regardless the distance Mom would always send prayers and find a way to keep in touch. Met back up with a friend who I've known for several years and it was like love at first sight all over again. She still wasn't married either. She's been comforting and now the thought of having grandchildren for my Mom to spoil is no longer possible. She did tell me not to break her heart and she was a true "keeper" months before the accident. I'll remember those words for the rest of my life. They say, "you'll always have her near, just need to remember the good." Well, thats impossible to do. I lay awake or dream about her. Still trying to find a way to help her like she's always done for me. Missing her laughter and touch. I was her favorite of the three and find complete strangers telling me how they knew her, and she always would say how proud she was of me.  Staying with my father and currently laying in my old bedroom where i grew up and typing this. All i can say to those above this post is I'm incredibly sorry. Guess all we do is keep plugging.

[Cre75]

I lost my precious Mama on July 20th 2013. It was expected but didn't make it any easier. My parents and I have always been VERY close and that continued with my family after I married and had children. She was my biggest fan and her love was unconditional....same for my daughters. She was very sick for a long time even bedridden for 4 years before she passed. My Daddy took excellent care of her and I was there when I wasn't working.She depended on me and I was there for her. I am proud of the relationship we had and would not trade those memories for anything. When she first passed, I threw myself into projects around the house and would work all day until I would collapse in bed at night. I started a new job a couple months later and threw myself into that....never allowing myself time to grieve and deal with my loss. That place of business closed down and I have been sick with different things lately and have tons of time to think. The hurt and anger I feel is indescribable. I don't see the light at the end if the tunnel and I don't see a happy ending. I know people say "Don't give up" and I am not doing it intentionally but it's like my feelings and emotions and drive are shutting down like I can't take an ore so m mind is protecting me.I just wish I could find some peace.

[Eulily72]

Thanks so to everyone here for this forum.
I lost my mother on 22 June after many years of chronic illness and increasing disability. I thought I was prepared for her passing as it had been a possibility many times over the years when things had gone wrong...but she always rallied and got better enough to go back home and carry on.
I thought somehow that it would be something of a relief when she did go, as she had suffered so much and was in so much pain. I was with her constantly for the last few months and right up until the end.
There is absolutely no relief in her passing - all there is is emptiness and agonising pain. The whole world has shifted and its out of focus and I cant find any consolation or comfort in anything. I don't want to go back to the work and the studies I was so enjoying before, I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone - nothing has any meaning anymore.
My mother was a much loved nurse for many years - she was amazing. Now all I can think about is becoming a nurse, or caring for frail/aged people as nothing else seems worthwhile.

[mellie513]

Hello All-

I just wanted to say reading all your comments made me feel less alone. The loss if my mother has been the most debilitating event that has ever happened to me. The emptiness and pain I feel is so overwhelming at times. I can't imagine how people get over the loss of a child when I feel this bad at the loss of my beloved mother. I decided yesterday I cannot bear to visit her grave anymore and that I know she will understand. I can't face the reality and the slap in the face of it all that she really died. The rest of the day I am a useless mess. I just retreat to my bed and load up on sugar all day and cry. I am sick of crying. It's been three months and there has not been one day that I don't cry. I especially cry when I am alone in my car. It's true there are good days and worse days. Depends on my mood and what event, smell or song reminds me of her. I just plain miss her so much that I understand what true heartache is now. Because my heart actually hurts since she left. Dad is a mess and I don't know what to say anymore except that we will see her again one day and she is watching over us and with us everyday. What you all say about it being a life changing event is so true. Death changes you forever and you don't get over it you get through it. I long to see my mother again when my time comes.

[dF1rees]

My beautiful mum passed away January 10 this year. My mum had a massive heart attack so her passing was a massive shock to our whole family. I cry at the loss of her every day, I do it on my own as I don't want my children to see how much I am suffering. I still go to work and college as people tell me you need to carry on and remember all of the happy memories but I dred the thought of the future without her. Growing up I was not close to my mum at all but when I had my first child my mum was there at her birth and it changed our relationship as I realised the love a mother has for her child and we were so close ever since my mum was at the birth of my second child nearly four years ago. I used to call my mum every day and would take my children to see her every weekend. My son will turn four on Saturday and will start School in September, my daughter will be 13 in November and I'm already struggling at the thought of these milestones without her, my children adored my mum as she did them, it breaks my heart to think that she will miss out on these days. Last Sunday was Mother's Day and it was so hard being happy infront of my children as it was the first without my mum. I take each day as it comes and am trying to cope. I have lost my mum and best friend but know she is in me and my children, I often find myself watching my children and seeing little habits movements or sayings that my mum would do or say, I love it because it brings her close just for a minute. I really feel for anyone who is going through this, it has been the hardest few months of my life. My love and hugs go out to you xx

[MaryDu4]

My mom passed away suddenly on February 28, 2014.  She suffered a stroke at night.  My dad found her on her bedroom floor.  The morning it happened, my dad called me and said "mom is gone."  I was at work and collapsed to the ground.  I immediately left and went to my parent's house, which is 45 minutes away.  My dad would not let them take her away until I saw her which, in a way, I wish I hadn't.  I cannot get the image of what she looked like out of my mind.  She was such a huge part of my life.  She had been suffering from major depression for the last 3-4 years and had been on a lot of medication for that.  I feel so guilty b/c, as I research it now, she had suffered what seems to have been mini stokes -- forgetfulness, slurred speech, etc.  Why couldn't I have seen the signs???  If I had, she would be here now.  Also, she had an appt with her neuropsychologist in November but was cancelled b/c it was too early and rescheduled to March 18th...if only she was here for this appt and maybe she would still be here now.  I am suffering tremendously.  My dad is 75 and he is lost.  They were married for 49 years and spent every single day together...now she's gone.  He cries to me on the phone and I feel so helpless and my heart breaks for him.  I just don't know how to get through this.  I cannot eat, sleep, concentrate.  The first thing I think of in the morning and the last think I think of at night is my grief and guilt.  I really don't know how much more of this pain I can take.  I try to be strong for my dad but every time I dial the phone to talk to him, I have panic attacks.  I feel like no one understands what I am going through and I get so jealous of people laughing and being so carefree.  I pray every morning and night to God and ask that he please help me and my dad get through the day.  It doesn't seem to be helping.  I'm at a point now that I am questioning my faith and that's such a hard and heartbreaking thought b/c it hurts to think that I will never see my mom again.  I just don't know how I am going to get through this.  

[catbrown6798]

I just lost my mom on March 2, 2014
She was 81. My dad died in 2011 and my oldest brother in 2010. Losing my mom was the worst because after already suffering 2 great losses, losing my mom made me and my 2 brothers adult orphans. And because I was so close to my mom. I miss her so badly. We talked every single day, several times a day. I know it is too early and I have accepted that but I just cannot deal with this empty feeling of despair that I have in my heart. I am blessed to have had my mom for so long,  I am 48 with 2 grown kids.  I think it's hard when you have had them in your life for so long.  Its hard no matter what because it is your parent and you feel so alone. My mom told me years ago that when her mom died (I was 3) that her and my dad went to the beach and she sat at the ocean and cried her heart out.  Maybe that is what I need to do. I just miss her so much. It helps to talk about it.

[LOST73]

I lost my mother this year in April. She was Italian & lived in Germany after my parents divorced. Being a military brat was pretty cool growing up, my parents were together 20 yrs. As my brother & I got older it became much more difficult. Especially after I moved to the US permanently. I moved away to finish school & always pictured myself moving back home & settling down. My mother remained in Germany alone when we were all in the US. My brother & I went moved to the US with my father to finish High school. He only had a year left and moved back to Germany. He was there with my mother ever since. I on the other hand lived a more complicated life. I was born & raised in Germany for 19 yrs. Loved it there. I mostly stayed in the US as I got older to finish College. I always felt guilty that I was gone. I was grateful that my father was here, but missed my mother. We relied on Skype a lot to communicate. I even set my ring tone to “Dear Mama”. Currently my mother’s family in Italy wants to Skype with me, but other than a few messages (written) I can’t bring myself to get on there. Which also makes me feel guilty. I know she’d want us in contact. I work retail so it’s almost impossible to get time off during Black Friday, but with my unique circumstances I managed to visit last Thanksgiving. I brought my husband with. He had met her a couple yrs. prior when she came to visit. I’m so thankful for my old GM allowing me to visit in November before she had a sudden heart attack in April. When she visited us she brought a neighbor friend with so she wouldn’t have to travel alone. This has been the worst year ever. Not only have I lost her, her friend that visited lost her father right after I returned from the funeral. She ended up in the Looney bin temporarily. My Great Uncle then passed, then my brother significant other’s mother. Now my father-in-law is currently in the hospital. I’m trying to move on, but it’s like life just won’t let me. I don’t know how to cope. I quit smoking in January. A couple months ago I started again. My husband doesn’t know. I’ve considered using the rest of the patches I have to quit again, since I don’t smoke as much. I’m so lost in life & don’t know how things will turn out with my father-in-law, I’m really about to lose it! Please tell me people will stop dying (at least this year) and things will get better. I went to a doctor a couple months back, she put me on Xanax. It helped but I found that I was sleeping way too much so I never went back. She also wanted me on depression meds. Did I mention I also started a new job when she passed, turned 40 a week later & quit smoking? It’s a lot to cope with. I’m afraid if I go back to the doctor she will put me on more meds. I had to travel by plane to & from Germany then return only to get back on a plane to TX the NEXT day for training on new job. My neck has never been the same. I lost weight, had lack of sleep. I cry here and there still but for a while was running to the bathroom to break down at work. How do I move on with the rest of the world when it still doesn't make sense? She didn't have heart problems. She was fine! I don’t know how to cope with my guilt of not being around, not saying goodbye, never being able to see her or Skype with her. Please tell me what do I do from here?

[wmpierce111]

I just lost my momma,,and it so hard ,I cant seem to stop crying ,I have no appetite,,i have the shakes and cant sleep..she is all I had,,i know people can say they are sorry,,and they feel sad for my loss,,but all these words are spoken,,but it cant bring my momma back,,,iam so lost