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ignoring, defiance or deaf?

Apr 23, 2015 - 2 comments

My 5yr old won't listen...
Sorry, let me re-phrase that... She listens and hears just fine, doesn't comprehend what I'm saying I think is more along the lines of what I'm experiencing.
I've been talking about it briefly. And just now decided to Google it. And thought I'd share some stuff I found :

Say it With a Single Word

The situation: My daughters have only one assigned chore: to carry their plates to the sink when they're done eating. Still, not a night went by when I didn't need to tell them to do it, sometimes three times. Even that didn't guarantee they would -- and who would finally clear them? Take a guess.

The old way: After they ignored my repeated commands, I'd sit Blair and Drew down and preach for ten minutes about how I wasn't their servant and this wasn't a restaurant.

The better way: Kids usually know what they're supposed to do; they just need some simple reminding. "They'll tune you out when you go on and on," Faber told me. "Instead, try just one word to jog their memory."

The result After dinner one night, all I said was "plates." At first the girls looked at me as if I were speaking in an alien tongue. But a second later, they picked them up and headed for the kitchen. After roughly a month of reinforcement, I don't need to say anything; they do it automatically. "Teeth!" works equally well for getting them to brush, as does "Shoes" to replace my typical morning mantra: "Find your shoes and put them on; find your shoes and put them on". And when I hear Blair screaming, "Give me that!" I simply say, "Nice words" (okay, that's two words). I practically faint when she says, "Drew, would you please give that to me?"
Now, I already do this with most things, but I feel like I'm being too impersonal with her if I'm just constantly blurting out 1 word at her instead of saying a full sentence?

One lady on a forum said she's had her kid basically in a constant time our for week, and feels like he's missing out on everything because of his behavior, but doesn't want him to think it's okay to act out and get rewarded.
I'm on this lady's level in about 50% of the sense, but the other 50% is that she doesn't 'act out' like most of these mothers say their kids do (when i'm around, anyways), it's just solely her not listening that's the issue... She's never thrown a fit or anything around me in a very long time actually. Because she knows I will not hesitate to either turn the car around and go home, or pack her up and leave wherever we are (she was around 2.5/3yrs old when she tried to throw a tantrum in a grocery store for the first and last time because she didn't want to sit in the cart) My step dad was like, 'she can walk, let her walk, i'll watch her'. and I'm like 'no, because next time she does this and you're NOT with us, she's going to pull the same sh*t and I am not running after a child while trying to grocery shop' so, after a few attempts to force her little writhing body into the seat, I picked her up, and we went home.

And after that I don't think I remember her doing anything like that.
*sigh* I'm to the point where I'm just so run down.
Any advice is welcome. Unless you're going to tell me to calm down. Trust me, I already know that...

TMI. picture. mucous plug?

Apr 18, 2015 - 12 comments



mucous plug

Ugh. OK so I felt wet down there and put my hand in my pants to see what it was and yeah.... This got stuck to my fingers. Its a bit more cloudy than what came out yesterday. But yeah, I don't know what to do.

just an update

Apr 17, 2015 - 6 comments

Tonight we are going over to Corey's house and he's making us dinner.
Saturday afternoon I'm going to walk Ri with her bike down to the Detroit River so she can ride her bike.
Sunday she has a friends birthday party, and then after dinner I go get my hair done. Same length, just getting a 'body perm' to make my hair ALL wavy instead of just the back, underneath haha.
Trying to make it as low maintenance as I can before baby gets here :)
And then Monday we finally get to see if it's a Callie or a Dawson dancing around in there! :)
Corey put his hand on my tummy last night and right away baby kicked lol. He said they were saying 'get his hands off me, he stinks!' 'cause he works on a pig farm, lol.
You get use to it though ;p
Things are going well with us. I don't like going there because then when I come 'home' to my apartment, I just feel like it's temporary... Like, I have 2 boxes of clothes I COULD unpack, but I don't want to?
Riley asked him at dinner if we were still going to get married, lol. Caught us both really off guard... Like, my mom walking in on me and a boy or something. We were both like, uhhh :| and Corey said 'that's up to grandma' (my mom, who obviously - with good reason - hates him now) lol.
She knows we're seeing eachother. But I've kind of distanced myself and Riley from her. She was becoming very overbearing and trying to manage things with Corey, and work, and Dr appts and her... it was her that I needed to cut back on.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mom... but she shouldn't need to talk to my kid 3x a week or see her EVERY weekend... Like, I love getting a break - but I don't like how immature she is about it when I am too busy throughout the week to have Riley sit and talk to her on the phone every other day. She'll send me nasty texts like the one I got the other day 'Real nice. So glad we got to talk to OUR granddaughter this weekend, don't know what we did to have you keep us from her'... when that's not the case. I have my own life which she clearly doesn't understand. Even if me and Corey WERENT together, I would still be taking a step back.
It has nothing to do with keeping Riley from her, it has to do with by the time I get home from work, its 5:40. Make dinner and eat it's at least 6/630. By the time Riley is done eating it's 7pm. And I try to get her to bed while it's still light out or she throws a fit because of how dark it is in her room (but yet the kid sleeps with the effing blankets over her head??), so bedtime is by 7:30 the latest, add in a shower or bath if she needs one (because in the AM it's too rushed and takes 20m for water to heat up), and that's legitimately like no free time.
I've explained all this to her and she thinks that her not talking to her, or seeing her every week, she's (Riley's) going to think they like, abandoned her or that she will forget them or something retarded. lol.
On a side note, I'm slowly gaining weight. Which is a good and bad thing haha. Good thing because that means baby is doing well, bad thing because I don't want to get fat :( lol

I hope you ladies have an amazing weekend!!! :)

17wks update

Apr 08, 2015 - 4 comments

Well, It's crazy to think that in 3 weeks, this pregnancy is half over.
I remember thinking 'I still have 24wks left, lots of time to get stuff' with Levi, and then I was like 'I ONLY HAVE 24WKS LEFT TO GET STUFF!!!' lol.
Aside from a crib and sheets/blankets... I haven't gotten anything.
I've been eyeing this ADORABLE hot pink zebra print diaper bag whenever I go to Walmart... But I put it back on the shelf as fast as I pick it up.
I know it's normal, this feeling of not wanting to 'nest' because the less stuff you HAVE if something bad happens, the less you have to get rid of.
With Levi, I was thankful enough to have Corey and when I said 'please move the bouncey chair. I don't want to see it, I cant' - he just did it. I don't know when, but the next time I walked by where it was, it was gone... And obviously I don't want to have to do that again, not only that, but I live with just Riley now... So if something DOES happen, it's me that has to come home and see everything.
I've been thinking a lot about the sex of the baby. And truth is, I have absolutely NO idea what it is... lol, Everyone says 'oh I think it's a girl, or oh I think it's a boy'... And at first I thought it was a girl, but I thought for SURE Levi was a girl too, up until I delivered him.
The more I think about it, the less I feel I'll have this 'gender disappointment' that I've read about.
Of course I'm going to be a little sad if I don't get a second chance at a boy, but who knows - she might be a tom-boy, which is just as good.
I'm not back up to my weight that I was when I found out I was pregnant, but I'm up from 127 -> 134 now within the last 2 weeks... I'm unsure if that has anything to do with me and Corey working on things or not. Cause you know how they say love makes you fat? lol.
It's weird... And I hate to admit it, but... I'm not as happy with him NOW as I was with him BEFORE... I mean, I know it's going to take time... but this is normal, right?
I love him. Clearly that's very visible to anyone around us. I'm content, I guess is what I'm getting at? I have my own place, and am settled, and did a budget and OMG, I hate to admit this. But last month, I spent $1,300 on sh*t I didn't need, food, clothes, etc. So I definitely can afford a baby on my own. So for that sake, adoption is out of the question because that was 50% of the reasoning, and the other 50% was dealing with Corey... which I believe if things didn't work out, that it wouldn't be that big of a deal... I hate to say it...
I'm not sure if I'm having second thoughts? Or what the eff it is. I just, I love him. But sometimes when I look at him, and he's smiling at me, I catch myself thinking in my head, 'how could you sit there and watch me beg for you, for us... and just not care?'