Do you ever feel like you have you've been working, cleaning or doing something allday long but yet you've gotten nowhere. well thats how I feel today..lol Everything else is going pretty well today, my two year old is not being to out of control today and my 1 month old has slept alot today. As normal I still am not getting much help from my significant other at least on some levels. He's helped me clean the house todaywhich I'm very appreciative of but I don't understand him when it comes to our children. To give you a quick overview When Our son Blake was born, Aj (my boyfriend & there father) was the best father you could ever ask for I never had one complaint about him, ever. He would help me to no end not to mention the love he gave blake. Then as Blake got a little older now two, Aj is still a good father to him but I think he's a little hard on Blake sometimes. I see that after Aj either yells at Blake or dicsiplines him he feels bad and trys to make up with Blake Its almost like he's at times taking his frustration out on Blake. I've talked to him about it before but he thinks I'm over acting and that I'm way to easy on Blake (which I agree I'm to big hearted and let my feelings get in the way of discipline) Do you have any suggestions on how I can talk to him about this without causing a fight? Don't get me wrong Aj would never hurt Blake but I just want him not to get on him so much and let a kid be a kid. some of the things he yells at Blake for are normal for a kid to do but Aj is so afraid that when we go in public everyones pointing at us and talking about how bad of a kid he is. Yeah Blake is a hyper kid and sometimes out of control (possible ADD and ADHA to young to diagnose) but alot he does is normal. The other problem I'm having with Aj and probaly the biggest is that He doesn't show any attention to our daughter now a month old. He wont change her diaper or bath her because she's a girl and he's uncomfortable with it. So I overlooked that and do it myself no biggy. But everytime I say I'm leaving to go somewhere the first thing out of his mouth is your gonna take Abby aren't you? And always offers to keep Blake if I want him to. Which yes I admit when it comes to doing certain things its easier to take the baby but I don't feel this is fair to Blake or to Abby they both deserve alone time with us both. It doesn't matter what I'm in the middle of and he could be just watching tv but if she cries instead of trying to figure out whats wrong he yells in to me and says Abby's crying. I don't know how many times i've replied and said I can hear that but your her parent too. When I ask him why he won't keep her he says its just easier for him to keep Blake because when he has her all she does is cry and that he can't always figure out whats wrong so she'll stop crying and that I always can. Aj hates my dad because there is 4 of us kids and my dad has always favored my brother and my younger sister and treated me and my older sister like crap. There is alot of stuff that goes on with my dad that has to do with him mistreating me and doing alot for my brother and sister. Aj has never agreed with it at all but I feel like Aj is doing alot of the same things with our kids. He is favoring Blake alot. I mean what does it hurt to pick a baby up and talk to her or feed her. I sometimes think its because she fusses alot due to stomach problems and maybe the crying gets to him I dont know . What I do know is it isnt fair to our daughter that shes getting left out and hasn't had time to bound with her dad. I might sound selfish by saying this but I don't think its fair to me either.This just started about 2 weeks ago the first couple weeks he was helping me alot. I might sound selfish by saying this but I don't think its fair to me either. How do I tell him he's just like my dad though. I don't want to fight about this I just want a little help with her. I know he loves her I just don't understand what it is thats keeping him from her. He was great wth Blake when he was a baby. and blake was the first baby hed ever even held let alone was around but it was like he already knew what to do to be a good father and take good care of Blake. I dont think its because shes a girl because thats what he wanted was a girl even when I was pregnant with Blake. Do you think he will come around and start being a good father to her and that maybe its just because of all the medical problems Abby has that maybe scares him with her being so young. I could really use some advice if anyone has it to offer to me. Thanks for listening.
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