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Thomas recipe reposted

Sep 21, 2014 - 1 comments

Thomas Recipe Re-Posted

Comments in brackets are my thoughts.[ ]

[Warning. If you are on anti-Depressants, use medical supervision on L-Tyrosine, SamE and all mood enhancers. There can be a risk if taking L-Tyrosine, 5 HTP  if you are on a tricyclic  or a MAIO antidepressant's ...It can cause a spike in blood pressure.]
Thomas Detox Recipe

PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas

This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.

If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.
For the Recipe, You'll nee

Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store). [generic brand anti-diarrheal is fine. Don't take it unless really uncomfortable]
L-Tyrosine* (500 mg caps) from the health food store.* [See Warning]
Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.
Vitamin B6 caps. [or stress B-complex?]
Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available). [many gyms offer free trials]
How to use the recipe

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate W/D symptom. [I like Epsom salts in the tub. Forces Magnesium into the muscles]

Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. DON'T TAKE IT, however, if you don't need it.[Diarrhea is the bodies way to aid in the detox so take Immodium or generic for the comfort factor, if needed]

Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine*. Try 2000 mg, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mg. Take the L-Tyrosine* with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine* will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine* can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate W/D, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine* is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help. [*Read the Warning first! *L-Tyrosine* is great. *SamE 400* mg works for mood too]

With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better. [Walking gets the blood and lymph systems working, helping you detox better.]

PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you. [Very important note]

[WARNING If you are on anti-Depressants, use medical supervision on L-Tyrosine, SamE and all mood enhancers. There can be a risk if taking L-Tyrosine, 5 HTP  if you are on a tricyclic  or a MAIO antidepressant's ...It can cause a spike in blood pressure.]

my broken ankle.

Jul 07, 2014 - 6 comments

Ha Tony I wish it was something so exciting that caused it.
Nope just stepped off my deck into a hole. My left foot turned completely
Sideways. Oh the pain was intense. I called out to my one son whose room was closest.
My husband and two sons came out. I have been experiencing vertigo for quite sometime
So when I fell I got real dizzy. The pain caused me to sweat profusely, be extremely dizzy,
I was very faint, I could feel myself going down, my speech was almost inaudible, I couldn't see or hear.
I had this same response to pain in January before I had my carpal tunnel surgery.

I couldn't move for about 30 minutes or so. They carried me inside. My husband said it doesn't look to bad,
Not extremely swollen or discolored. He is so used to getting hurt at work, using electrical.tape for bandages and moving on. I also think it has to do with his drug years, when someone overdosed they would hold them up and just try to have the person walk it off. He said there were times when someone really needed to go to the ER, they would put them by the ER door and then leave them there. I guess fear of getting caught with drugs or being an accomplice to their overdose.

They put me in bed, elevated my leg, and put ice on it.
Sunday morning a bit more swollen and discolored. I had pain with numbness and tingling in my toes.
We had crutches here and I wrapped it with a ace bandage. Went to church and out to dinner with friends.
As the day went on it got worse.

Now this morning my whole foot was discolored and very swollen, like I could pop it with a pin.
Off to the ER I went.
The ligaments tore from the fibula and pulled some bone fragments with it.
They cast it, I am on crutches, bed rest to follow up with an orthopedic doctor.
The pain, tingling and numbness,swelling and discoloration has increased.

I am very hard to keep down. It is already driving me crazy to ask someone to get or do.something
For me. I pray this doesn't go on for weeks. No gym, no walks, this the worst. Going to the beach in a cast.
I have never broken a bone in my life.
Please pray for my patience and  healing,
Thank you,

In 1986, 28 years ago.

Apr 28, 2014 - 6 comments

In 1986, Twenty eight years ago at the age of 29 with a 3 month old baby I became widowed.

We had only been married for 4 years. When I met him he was facing 6 months in jail for theft. He was a recovering drug addict. He had also used heroin. I had met him through a mutual friend.
I had used alot of drugs recreationally. I was a older teenager and in my twenties in the 70's. I had never done any opiates or heroin.

He served the time in jail. it was shortened not sure now how long he was there maybe three months.
He was a very nice guy. He treated me well. He had stole for his habit, did  his time and I thought all would be well.

We fell in love  & We married shortly after. From New Jersey we moved to Florida to start a new life. We were there for a few years.

He was getting more tired then usual.
Having some shortness of breathe, So he quit smoking.
He had a sinus infection that wouldn't go away. He was a chef, worked in a hot kitchen. He got up at 2:30 am and had to be at work by 4:00 am.  I attributed his physical issues to this.
I was 6 months pregnant at the time.
My son was born in December 1985.

My husband continued to get sicker. He was running a low grade fever, Having night sweats.
We had been to the doctors many times. He was treated for sinus infections. He began to lose weight.
They did blood tests and nothing significant showed.

This went on for about 9 months.
  On March 22, 1986 he woke up with a much higher fever. I took him to the ER. He was well enough to walk in.  He was admitted. He was 35. I was 29 and my infant son was 3 months old. He was given oxygen immediately.
They ran a battery of tests. He had infection and they needed to find out where. They called in an infectious disease doctor. They said they wanted to test him for auto immune diseases.
My mom came down so she could watch my son when I was at the hospital.
His breathing became very labored. He was in the hospital for a total of two weeks. He was being treated with antibiotic the whole time and was getting much worse. He had developed pneumonia.
The tests took 10 days to come back. He had hepatitis c along with an auto immune disease.
I also had to be tested, as did my 3 month old son.  Because his liver was comprised they wanted to do a a lung biopsy to find the specific bacteria that was causing his pneumonia. His liver couldn't handle the cocktail of drugs they were feeding it. It was shutting down.
They did the biopsy. He had a breathing tube in. He had pneumocystis pneumonia. He was in ICU.  His heart rate was off the charts. He only survived about 12 hours post op.
I woke up at 2am April 2,1986 with horrible anxiety. I felt something was terribly wrong. I called the nurses station. My husband had just died within a few minutes of my call.
I called them before they got to call me.
He had a heart attack. They tried for an hour to revive him.
He was 35 years old. I was 29 with a 3 month old baby. I was now a widow.

I remember we had heard about this new disease in late 1985 that had come into America. Up until that point it was killing mostly white, gay men.
This disease was not yet named at this time in April  1986 with the name it now holds.
My husband had died of HIV with full blown AIDS.
It was dormant in his system for at least 10 years. He hadn't used a needle since 1976.
When he died the coroner in Florida wanted to instantly cremate him. They had never had someone with AIDS. We knew a family in NJ who had a funeral parlor. They agreed to take care of his body.  It was prepared and flown back to NJ.

What a whirlwind. My husband walked into the ER and was carried out in a box 2 weeks later.
Because the blood test took 10 days to come back at the time I never got To tell him that my son and I weren't
My husband had the dubious destination of being one of the first 23,239 mostly white men between the ages of 30-39 who died from 1981-1987 of AIDS.
It hard to believe that it has been 28 years. Seems like many lifetimes ago.
The most recent estimates from 2010 are that 34 million people around the world are living with HIV/ AIDS.

When I came back to NJ it was more known back here. I started to see signs about the symptoms. Yep he had all the symptoms.

His girlfriend from the 70's also died of HIV/AIDS but not until 2000.

My son and I had to be tested for the next 5 years.

I know this has also added to my anxiety  and sadness over the last month. It never failed even if I wasn't thinking about it consciously for the last 28 years, subconsciously it always affected me.

My son and I were given another chance at life. We were not infected.
GOD had his hand on us and protected us.
My son swore to me, from a young age that he would never use opiates because of his dads death. It is his memorial to him.
So far he has kept that promise.
I hope and pray he keeps it.

Cleaning up the wreckage.......

Apr 22, 2014 - 13 comments

My husband has been clean from methadone, Xanax and alcohol for four years on February 25, 2014.
For this I am eternally grateful.

His relapse lasted 14 horrible and dreadful years. These are years we will never get back.
Years that my children didn't have their father. I didn't have my husband.
Years that our marriage, relationships within our immediate family were breaking down and not getting nurtured.
Things happened that can never get taken away. Things that are forever written and stamped upon
mine and my children's hearts, minds, souls and spirits.
Things got lost along the way. Love, companionship, trust, plans for the future, finances, shattered dreams , friendship, our marriage.
Words that were  spoken. Hateful, angry, hurtful, sad, resentful, words.
Words that weren't spoken, I love you, I support you, I trust you, I need you, let me help you, I am sorry.

You know how it goes. In the beginning, he only used a little. He hid it pretty well until the last 5 or 6 years.
Then it progressed to full blown, nodding in his soup addiction. He always worked, very high functioning. Our business started to suffer. He wouldn't finish jobs on time. I wouldn't see the money from the jobs.
Well over the $200,000 through the years.
This is money we don't have saved for college tuitions, savings accounts.
We basically live week to week at 57 and 60 years old.
We sold our larger home that we owned for 15 years when we separated in 2009.
We couldn't get a new mortgage when he got out of rehab in 2010 because our credit was horrible.
We live in a beautiful shore town, but a much smaller home that needs work.

I was substitute teaching for the last 7 years. My daughter called the police on me in August 2012.
I tried to stop her from leaving so she could go get high. I was arrested and charged with aggravated
assault. The officer said I poked his chest and assaulted him by saying he didn't care about my family.
So as a result of that I can no longer substitute teach.

I many times feel bad about myself. That I have no career. I don't contribute to the household finances at
this point. I feel no self- worth. I think some of it comes from my husband yelling at me, bad mouthing,
belittling me during his active addiction. At 57 I don't think I have the energy, finances or motivation to go back to school.

During those years of his active addiction I stayed, praying, hoping, believing that he would stop.
The word divorce didn't come up very often.
I begged, pleaded, cried for him to get help.
I kept the faith.
I didn't want my children to come from a broken home.
The reality is, our home was very broken.
Lots of fighting, anger, dysfunction.

When we married, we agreed I would stay home, take care of the home and the children.
Take care of the paperwork for our electrical contracting business.
We went on the have three children. I had a son from a previous marriage and was widowed at 29.
(That's a story for another time.)

I have a college degree. A Bachelors of Arts in Dance. I had always taught. I was also an Aquatics Director.
I was certified through the American Red Cross to teach swimming, lifeguard training, first aid, CPR.
I did this for 25 years starting at the age of 17 til I was 42..
So I had worked part time in our marriage for the first 8 years.
When his relapse happened I no longer would leave the children with him.
So I let my certifications lapse.

Now what is left is the destruction and wreckage that was created during his active addiction.

I believe at this point that I have forgiven. I am not bitter, resentful, angry, sad, hurt, on a continually daily
basis. It just pops up sometimes, like I relapse.
My family has been healing and being restored.

I mourn what we don't have. A close marriage, him as my best friend.
A productive, healthy life and marriage or ministry.
He was called into ministry when he first got clean from heroin at 30 years old.
He went to bible college, became a licensed minister.
He then went on to become the director of a Christian men's drug and alcohol program.
This is where he was when we met at church.
He then started working full time in our business when we married.
The ministry couldn't support us at the time.

When I told him yesterday I was thinking of getting a divorce, he was very cavalier about it.
Almost pressuring to make a decision right then. He said I haven't forgiven him and am living in the past.
I don't think that I am. I want my feelings to be validated. He said he acknowledges that his addiction did do
all the things I said, but we can't go back.

I didn't look for or find medhelp until he went into rehab in January 2010. If I had known what I know now.
I don't believe I would have let it go on for so long. I wouldn't have enabled him.
I wouldn't have fought with him.
I would have left because he didn't until the very end.
I kept his dirty little secret and sin within our camp.
I didn't expose it to family and friends.
I was ashamed and embarrassed.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia back in November. Maybe much of my sadness is coming from that.
I was on lyrica for 5 months. It made me gain weight. I didn't think it was helping me.
I tapered off and stopped taking it 10 days ago.
I feel achy, tired and sad again.
I guess the lyrica was working. The rheumatologist wants me to take Cymbalta now.
I am going to try homeopathic first I think.

I can't provide for my myself and my children. He isn't making enough money to support us separately.
I will pray. I am trying to determine what I can do that is meaningful and to also make some money doing it.
I feel I would be a great counselor, but the schooling and then the internship would take too long.
To get my teaching certificate would take one year of intensive schooling and $40,000, so that is out.
I don't want to take my children and live with my mom.

Thank you for all of your support on my status. It really did help me. Please continue to pray for me.
I need to find a solution to my fibro, my sadness, the baggage and regrets from our past life.
I am keeping the faith.
I will continue to move forward.
I will go for counseling.
I will continue to be part of medhelp. I love you and I am very grateful for the support and love I receive.
Those that have reached out to me are the ones I can count on, Thank you.

Much love,