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Sick of no comments

Nov 16, 2014 - 8 comments

What have I done wrong?  Have I been too long on this site to receive replies now??  Feel ********** sad and alone.
Sulky Beanie0 :-(

Not Alone

Oct 16, 2014 - 0 comments

i am





I feel alone and afraid.  I know that I am not alone.  I'm living in a private state of utter confusion.  Unable to clearly link beginning, middle and end.  It will be okay.  I take peace in the knowing that I am not alone.  Beanie0

Have taken a more responsible attitude in regards to my 'array' of problems.

Oct 15, 2014 - 0 comments






The only way I reached to the point of taking a more responsible attitude has been as a result of a recent boost within my mental state.  This arose from going on holiday for the first time in ages and ages!  The actual holiday itself led to a complete change in both my life style, and my usual emotional being was particularly challenged.  I felt 'cornered' to behave in a false dishonest happy, smiling and calm way.  This actually worked in a most unpredictable way!  Fake positivity produced a real, a most real positivity at the time, which was a real learning curve for me.
Sadly on my return I did struggle with what I had emotionally suppressed -this 'push back' of so to speak 'incorrect behavior, thought and emotion left me with what I can only call 'excess energy'.  An uncomfortable 'mania' episode surfaced after years of being totally clear of that type of madness.  Only, I worked hard and was able to direct my energies towards some of the positive changes of life style I'd learned to fake.  So I've learned that a bit of fake can make for positive change.
I've always been one to say never to be dishonest with the way you feel, however, I can now understand 'therapies' that teach you 'alien' to your usual thoughts and ways are not to be pushed aside.  Have a go!  The mind is such a powerful tool (I've learned far to late!).
Hope this helps somebody.
Beanie0 x

What a Change!!!

Sep 19, 2014 - 0 comments


I have recently been on Holiday.  I'm 39 years of age and haven't had a holiday since the age of 14!!  I experienced lot's of new things and kicked away many fears.  I am Manic .... as high as a kite, which isn't exactly easy to cope with right now, but I don't want to be negative.  What I really want to say is that 'I want to live life!:-)'  I don't want to just 'get through'.  There is so much to see, to learn and experience.  I have made great changes already including healthier eating, big reduction in alcohol consumption, and I am going out everyday despite of my previous agoraphobia.  Best of all, I've been able to go swimming.  My most favorite time on holiday was when I went swimming in the sea!!  I am so happy, words can't describe.