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Having been here in such a long time..!

Aug 07, 2013 - 1 comments

I haven't been here is a loooooong time..! But I need to get stuff off my chest and this is the best place to do it. I have such a bad baby fever. Just found out that my best friend is pregnant with #2 and I'm really happy and exited for her, but makes me wish I was there too. I want another baby, but I went through so much with my first pregnancy that I'm afraid of trying again. Plus after the baby, my blood pressure stayed high, so getting pregnant now is crazy..,

:(

Update on Baby Ariana....(long post)

Oct 16, 2011 - 7 comments

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Hello Everyone,

Sorry I havent written in so long, I've been coming back and forth from the hospital, and have barely been on the computer to give you all an update on my baby girl.

As you know my baby was born on Aug 23, 2011, at 29 wks bcs I had preclamsia. She was thriving on the NICU, 4 days after she was born, they took her out of her C-Pap and was put on a canula, she was gaining weight and almost on full feedings. Then on the morning of my birthday, Sept 1st, we got a dreaded call from the NICU, she was diagnosed with NEC, Necrotizing Entercolitis. A gastrointestinal disease that mostly affects premature infants, NEC involves infection and inflammation that causes destruction of the bowel (intestine) or part of the bowel. Although it affects only 1 in 2,000 to 4,000 births, or between 1% and 5% of neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) admissions, NEC is the most common and serious gastrointestinal disorder among hospitalized preterm infants. (http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/digestive/nec.html#)

We were blessed with a wonderful nurse who was able to diagnose it really quick. She was transfered to a different hospital, with a higher level NICU, just in case she needed surgery. Seeing my baby gone from feisty, eyes open, and fighting with the nurses, to sleeping all day and night, limp, lethargic, and pale, had my heart on pins and needles. Many sleepless nights, waiting for the result of the bloodwork, hoping for numbers to go down.They were taking more blood out than what her body could replenish so she had to be transfused at least 3 times. Finally almost two weeks later she pull through, her bowel did perforated in a tiny spot, but her body heal itself and she was able to start her feedings.

We were ecstatic, she started eating, but it got to a point where she was not toleratng her feedings. This whole process of starting and stoping feedings lasted three weeks, until finally Drs did a contrast exam and where able to find the obstruction. Surgery was schedule for Sept 27th. The obstuction was because when the intestine healed itself created scar tissue that was pulliung together her colon and her appendix. Surgeon got out her appendix, and cut off a tiny piece of her colon, surgery was a success according to surgeons, but they way her tiny body reacted to surgery, was another story.

Although Drs didnt wanted to say anything especific, buy they were dealing on a matter of life and death or even permanent damage. Her body was not able to expel carbon dioxide, making her blood acidy. Dr spent more than 12 hours trying to stabilize her, moving her from a ventilator to an occilator, medication, etc. I took several days for her blood gas to be considered normal, and be put back on the ventilator. After 2 days on the ventilator, she decided it was time to get it out, and at 3:00am, they found her with the tubes on her hands..! Dr decided to put her back on the canula, and on the 5th of october she was breathing on her own again.

Right now shes on full feedings, taking them by bottle, and tolerating her feedings no problems. She has an ostomy and in aproximately 6 weeks they'll do a follow up surgery to reconect her. She's weighting 5lbs 7ozs and measuring 18inches. Feisty, strong and gorgeous, as much it hurt me to see her being poke, she never complained, wouldnt even cry. When they tell you that the NICU is a rollercoaster ride, they're not lying.....,

Drs. are even considering to let us take her home before the second surgery, if she keeps progressing the way she's doing.

Thank you all for your thoughs and prayers, and sorry for such a long post...

I just want to bring my baby home

Sep 09, 2011 - 2 comments

Today is one of those days that I wish I could disconnect my baby from al the wires at the NICU and just bring her home. Is so amazing when I get to hold her during kangaroo care, but is so heartbreaking when they take her out. She starts crying loud, I comfort her, but then I have to leave and she stays there. Ppl tell she is fine where she's at bcs theyre taking care of her, but my mothers heart doesnt understand reasoning it only understands that she misses her baby and wants her home.  

Ariana's Birth Story

Aug 29, 2011 - 4 comments

As I mentioned in my status, baby girl was born on August 23rd, 2011 @ 5:57pm, she came out @ 29 weeks. Eventhough drs were able to somehow "stabilized" my blood pressure, it was already affecting my baby. They did and u/s on monday and her fluid had gon down to just 4 AFI, so drs decided to deliver the baby. They 1st wanted to induce me, but since baby wouldnt stay on the monitor, the did and emegency C-Section. I have to say that it was far from the birth plan I had planned, but it had to be done and I was ok with it.

Ariana was born SCREAMING, she weighted 2lbs 10ozs and measure 15 1/2 inches. She was put on a C-pap (which she hates and is always trying to take it off..!) and already they're removing the umbilical lines, so hopefully soon I'll get to hold her. She's also eating 3 times more than when she was born. Everybody at the NICU calls her "little miss feisty" bcs of how much she fights with the nurses who are taking care of her. They say that's good, and that is now a matter of when she's gonna be able to come home.

Now about how I'm feeling? That's another story....I;m fighting the feelings of guilt, and hurt. I feel so guilty bcs my body failed her, and she couldnt stay longer inside of me. Everyone tells me is not my fault, but is hard to see it that way, Is so hard to look at her with all those tubes and monitors, when she should be inside of me, kicking up a storm, and comfy, growing and to come out when she was ready.

People keep telling me that I need to rest, while she's on the NICU, but how can I? When I'm there, I feel so guilty seeing her hooked up to all of those machines and when I'm home I'm constantly thinking about her being there all alone, and feeling like I'm abandoning her.

Thanks ladies for all your prayers and support for both me and my baby girl.