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Yep, we hit the BIG 3!

May 12, 2011 - 1 comments

So, last Sunday we celebrated the 3rd anniversary of ole' me becoming a MOTHER, my mom becoming a GRAND mother, my dad becoming a GRAND pap, and the least affectionate guy in this world… became a fuzzy teddy bear (yeah, im talking about daddy…).
But most importantly, the birth of the most gorgeous, amazing, beautifully smart, incredible, loving little girl I have ever seen in my entire life. This creature is so unbelievable….. i still catch myself spacing out just staring at her while she's peacefully playing by herself, or running around like a maniac after the cat, or sleeping right next to daddy in bed.
I cannot get over the feeling of extreme pride, even when she throws industrial amounts of horrendously high-decibeled-ear-piercing-purple-turning temper tantrums.

I absolutely love this kid……

This KID.

Not a baby anymore,…. she's a kid aaaaaall the way now. She communicates what she feels, she tells me she loves me, she tells me she doesn't like my cooking, she tells me she wants to play with her doggie, that she doesn't appreciate bath time, that she has to go 'poo poo' (careless to whomever happens to be around and take a listen), that she likes to go shopping, and to the jungle gym…. that she doesn't wanna share her pieces of cheese with her daddy, and that she played with Brianna (everyday) at school.
She just amazes me how she can add up things now. Her logic is so advanced and complex now. When she has a toy in one hand and picks up another with her other hand, she says 'mamma! i got two toys now!' and so on if she keeps adding toys to her collection.
She counts in spanish and english and has the best and cutest accent ever! lol oh my Lord, does she ever sound cute…..
She is the biggest fan of Disney princesses….. and of any woman that happens to be wearing a long fluffy dress…. she owns about 10 dresses that she says they are princess dresses…. and looks at herself in the mirror while spinning around and dancing…. and making little ballerina moves. (by the way, the ballerina classes didn't go too well… she loves to dance, but didn't follow the teacher all too well….)

This past Saturday, we celebrated what is called the 3 year old presentation (Mexican tradition) as well as her birthday and her baptism. It was done by reverend Pistone, the same priest that married my hubby and me and the same that renewed my parents vows about 5 years ago.
Couple of funny highlights about the ceremony (Maddie blowing the candle as the father was praying for all of us, father walking with the lit candle and the thing blowing off by itself, Maddie saying 'byyyyeeeee!' to him when he went to get it from the altar, her face when she felt the holy water on her head, and her yelling 'yaaaaaay!' and clapping excited when the ceremony was over.

We had a few friends and family members…. but that's all we needed. We took off back to grandpaw's house to eat some pizza and cake and to break the pinata (SUCH a blast with all the kiddos- got batted on my pinky finger… ouch!!!) and we revealed the big surprise for her…. a pink power operated cadillac for her to ride around all over! she loooooved it! she was so excited, she fell off of it trying to climb on it!!! and then drove backwards almost hitting the table (where all the food was!).

So funny.

Since her white dress that my parents (the godparents too) bought for her didn't make it on time, i had to go out and get one for the day. So now the kid has 2 white dresses that are her absolute FAVORITE present ever. She does nothing else that wear those things day and night and dance around and chase the kitty, and drive her caddie in them.

All the milestones, all the words, all the expressions….. all the hugs and the kisses…. even when I'm mad, or going insane…. or when I've heard a screaming child for the past 45 minutes…..


She's still the most precious gift God and life has given me.

Three years young…. and an entire LIFETIME of happiness. That's what I pray for every night. That she remains illuminated, happy, protected, and surrounded by love…. FOREVER AND ALWAYS.

She's my heart beating outside my chest.

I love you baby girl. (YES, baby… forever in mommy's heart)

Baby Tracker

Almost 3!

Mar 21, 2011 - 0 comments

It's about a week from now that my dear parents will come up to visit us (for 4 months!!!!) after almost 9 months of not seeing each other….it's  been painful, but it is so exciting to think about the faces they are going to make when they see my little almost 3 year old 'newborn'….

It's still so hard to see how my little chubby baby turns into this beautiful little girl, but at the same time, it's soooo amazingly rewarding and the pride I feel for her overrides any kind of melancholy related to 'loosing' my infant.

It's magical to see her dance with such coordination, yet still shaky little hands when she tries to put together her favorite princess puzzle. It's somewhat frustrating to tell her 3 or 4 times to not touch the toilet (or play in it, for that matter), but once I step back to see the bigger picture, it's extremely cute to see her try so hard to use the bathroom like such a big girl she thinks she is. I cannot believe almost a year ago she was out of diapers! (believe it or not…. I miss that).

Thinking about it…. there is not much left of my baby. Only faces and expressions she makes at certain things: when she looks up at me… and I can still see her little double chin and neck rolls like when she was 9 months old…, or when she is sleeping and her short little arms are thrown upwards and her chubby belly hangs out of her shirt. Her standing in the shower trying to 'catch' the water with her chubby little hands….

Boy. Now I think back and it was extremely rough to get rid of each baby item, one by one…. like the bottles…. the binkies,….. her favorite baby swing that momma and dadda went out to get right before she was born…., not to mention her boppy pillow where grandpap used to put her to sleep (even when his arm felt like it was going to fall off) for hours…. he would not move because his baby girl was sleeping…. *sighs*

So many things now have changed…. she has a twin bed (that she rather not sleep in) instead of her crib, she eats sitting at the table instead of a high chair, she wears skates instead of pushing a walker, she carries on conversations about her 'best fwiends' and where she'd like to go shopping 'tomowow'….. it's unbelievable!

I see how she 'takes care' of our friends' new little boy…. she is such natural nurturer! she calls him 'baby Eli' even tho he's not much younger than her….
I cannot help but to just picture her being a 'big sister' someday.

I know, I know…. I've said million times that she will be the only one….. but to see her in such nurturing, caring, happy mode… makes her father's and my heart swell. Of course there are many big priorities for now, like finish our house, like figure out our finances as a family, ….. but maybe one day, if it's our destiny, Maddie will be the big girl role model that I think she would no doubt be, to a little tiny sib.

In the meantime, we are decided to enjoy every last drop of her juicy self. Every tiny minute of the time I get to spend with her is sacred, and treasured, and stored in my memory like it is GOLD. These are the memories I will go to the cemetery with. I will always carry with me the very first time I felt her little hands in my womb, I will always keep that baby smell and her sweet milky breath in my heart. I will always remember those little baby sounds (that sometimes she still seems to be able to pull off for me….. like if she knew mommy melts….. every time). I will always be carrying those little hands on my cheeks, and those little pecks at night followed by a 'good night mammi, I wuv you too'.

We've decided we are going to do a little Mexican cultural expression called 'presentacion de tres anos', which is a three year old ceremony at the church to give thanks to God about the life of a child.
Eventho her dad is not the most religious person in the world and, well, mommy isn't a nun either… we've decided this will be the perfect occasion to celebrate in a more spiritual manner, the fact that this little angel was sent from above to fill up our lives with so much joy.

Being a mommy……*ehem* being HER mommy has been the most painfully AMAZING experience in my entire life!  painfully because there's so much love you can fit into a heart the size of my fist….

Baby Tracker

Big girl bed for my 2 1/2 year old newborn

Dec 14, 2010 - 1 comments

So, daddy and I been talking about getting our little one a big-girl's bed of her own. She seems to be getting rather tall for her crib and will be outgrowing it here very soon. Little did I know that the trip to the mattress store will actually lead to a sale….. in my own little world, she is indeed STILL a baby, she doesn't really NEED a bed right now.

Well, we got a huge deal on a nice set and will be picking it up on Friday.

The minute we stepped out of the store, and after a few scares from Maddie almost diving head first on to the floor while jumping on all those oh-so tempting beds…., I said full of confidence: 'I will sell that crib this week and we can make up for some of the money spent this weekend'.

Has not happened yet. Haven't even put the ad yet…… sheeeesh!, haven't even taken the pictures for the ad yet!….. reason behind it? no, not procrastination. Rather is my fear of 'loosing my baby'.

Am I the only psycho here that thinks if I hold on to my daughter's baby stuff, she will actually STAY a baby? like all her baby clothes? (I mean it's not just an outfit or two…. it's 4 full garbage bags of them!) or like her papasan?

I mean, I've done my selling, don't get me wrong. I've sold her beloved swing (was a nice one too!!!) and I almost couldn't stop myself from chasing the lady that bought it down the road begging her for a refund. After all, that was MY BABY'S swing! it was NOT for sale!!! …… I was indeed… loosing part of the memories with that swing. I was indeed not ready to give my baby's swing away. In any given case, for me it was worth a lot more than $40 bucks. A lot more.

So first was the switch from baby bottles to sippy cups. Then the pacifier recess. Then the potty training and now I have a whole pile of diapers that are neatly stored in her closet. Then her booty would actually touch the ground while she tried to squeeze into her papasan…. and now her crib?!?!?!? so, there is nothing I can think of really that would describe her as a BABY anymore?!?!?!?!?!


I officially have a toddler (almost pre-schooler) at home, once that crib goes out the door….

I am floored.

I am extremely sad.

…. and I didn't even know it. I know I've been a little cranky lately but I thought it was the traffic of Baltimore, or annoying dog.

Nope, it's the transition of my beloved newborn to childhood….. and mommy is not ready.

Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely encourage my kid to learn new things, to say new words, to jump and run and sing and dance and dress up and GROW…. however, when I see her running like a big kid, bending her knees, and moving coordinately her arms with each step…. instead of the 'Frankenbaby' walk from when she was 10 months old, waddling her little chubby body around and falling in her tooshy every 10 steps….

… is gone.


No going back.

It's so bitter sweet.

I remember my mom telling me "mommy's cry….. all the time….. that's what we do……. because it hurts seeing you babies grow"……. it's now that I understand, exactly, what she meant with that.

Momma! I'm so sorry for growing up!!! I'm sorry for getting married!!! and leaving you behind!!!! =(

OK, alright…… this post is an emotional one……

I still get wowed to see my 'newborn' say: 'hey mommy, what ju doin'?'…. newborns are supposed to coo and ahhh… right? My jaw still drops when I see her count to 20 and say the correct color….. SHE IS A BABY!!!!

No, she's a child now.


She is a beautiful, healthy, intelligent, loving, momma's little girl. That's what she is…. and momma would NOT have it any other way.


Two and a half. WOW.

Nov 11, 2010 - 5 comments

It has been a while that I posted an update on this kid of mine… so here are the latest laughs, milestones and interestingly cute perks she's had in the past couple of months.

She is now putting full sentences together. In fact, she sits down in front of the dog, cat, dad, mom, classmates or whomever is available (or seems to have a spare minute) with a book in her hands and starts 'reading' it to them. There is a book in particular she absolutely 'reads' front to back, and surprisingly, she doesn't even have to have the book in front of her… she memorized it. It's called 'Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?'. Her absolute, ultimate favorite. She knows it so well, she's actually starting to associate colors (of the animals this book describes) in it with real life things. Yesterday, while in the bath, she pointed at my shirt and said: 'mami, shirt brown… like brown bear?'….. as I was picking up my jaw from the floor, she also said: 'and…. sweater… white, like white dog?'…. all from that book.

This kid is absolutely unbelievable. I mean, I know every mother thinks their child is the  ultimate michael angelo masterpiece, but I swear… mine, well…. really is. ha!

Last saturday we had a couple friends over, which interestingly, my friend and I were only 2 weeks apart when pregnant, both carried our big ole bellies thru babies are us, both shared cute little booties at our respective baby showers and both came to visit each other homes when the babies were born.

Our girls are exactly 2 weeks apart…. two very different personalities. Maddie is completely confident, no inhibitions what so ever, loud, impulsive, playful and affectionate. Hailey is completely shy, loving as well, inhibited and is careful opening up to other people. Both are cuties. Hailey doesn't necessarily share Maddie's passion for dogs…. she was scared of our rambunctious fur friend. Maddie wrestles her.

While Hailey talked a LOT more english and articulated sentences than Maddie that night, I couldn't help but laugh histerically (as I always do) listening to my kid speak spanglish. She blurts a couple words in spanish and then adds her english twist in the sentence, back and forth… like it's her own little language. I think it's soooooo cute. Hopefully she'll separate them both at some point.

She is COMPLETELY potty trained! wooohoooo!!! no more diapers. In fact, I haven't changed a diaper in months! she dismissed her beloved 'puchies' (as she called them) a week after her second birthday… and a month later, we got rid of the night ones. Yeah!

Sometimes she'll blurt things out of nowhere that make me smile (like when I turn the car into the same street that leads to her favorite park, I hear from the back seat out loud: 'good girl mommy!'), sometimes she says things that make me tear up (like couple nights ago when she woke up crying saying: 'my gordo mami!, my gordo' -let me explain this one: gordo means 'chubby' or 'fatty' and in Mexico is actually a term of endearment…, she calls grandpa Hernandez this, ha!), or sometimes she says things that make me wanna scream…..(like when she tells me: 'go away mama!')… but all in all, those feelings get wrapped into a big bow of I LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY. The same bow I was (am) wrapped for my mother and father. I honestly believe I couldn't be 'too old' for them to not consider me their 'baby'. It's just that, their 'baby' happened to have a baby herself….. so now they got two of them, in their eyes. Thank goodness this is the legacy I got for my daughter… the one of a loving, affectionate family.

I consider myself so lucky.

*sighs* time is passing so fast. She is growing up to be a proud little sassy girl. She loves anything 'princess' and considers herself one of the bunch. She loves to put on her princess gown and walks around in her high heels feeling beautiful. Little does she know, she doesn't need an outfit to be beautiful. She is a porcelain doll.

So intelligent, so active, so loving, so incredibly sweet and cute, so incredibly capable of raising her mother's heartbeat to a tenth of a second speed just by looking at her sleeping, or crying, or laughing, or making certain little faces… the same faces she used to do when she was a newborn……. yes, she still has those little glimpses of babyhood surface to her face every once in a while…. to momma's delight.


She is incredible.