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FUKK LIFE

Dec 21, 2010 - 0 comments
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I spent my best 16 years with a Woman I am now coming to learn is a total FUKKING KVNT!

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So my kids hate me

Dec 20, 2010 - 1 comments
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My kids hate me



I'm a very hate-able guy, I've come to be told this evening. I have two sons, 15 and 12. Their Mother just told me, over the telephone, that they're afraid of me and this is why they don't call me or want me around.

What a painful thing for me to absorb. Can't help to think, though, that if I had a bunch of Money, they'd love the hell outta me.

I'm so angry at you Theresa. How can you sit over there at your Dad's house with our kids, leave me abandoned and talk crap about me and my Mom to the kids. It hurts me that you guys all crack up in hysterical laughter at my expense. I never tried to spend a dime on myself. It was always for YOU! I gave you every penny I ever had and now that my well is dried up, I see who you really are.

Good riddance! Find some other sucker. I gave you my best years. You had me when I was 19. Look at me! I'm 35 and miserable. For the last 8 years I have completely looked inward and tried to find out what was so bad about me. All it did was depress me. So, look at me now. I suck and you're over there reveling in your pride.

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One day at a time

Dec 14, 2010 - 0 comments
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Hope

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mood tracker

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Vitamins

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One day at a time

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Depression



I am taking Vitamins daily.
L-Lysine (once a day)
L-Tyrosine (lots and lots, up to 10 500mg tabs per day, I should have just bought the 1000mg tabs. I'd only take 4 a day of those, maybe 5))
5-HTP (twice a day w-meal)
DHA (once)
B-Complex (two at once)
B6 (once)
Men's Multi-Vitamin (once)
Chromium Picolinate (once)
Milk Thistle (once)
and more Water than ever.

I usually drank almost a 12 pack of Coca-Cola every single day. Now, a 12 pack lasts me 3 days. Amazing!

Also, my sleep is INcredulous & INspiring. I wish I wouldn't sleep so hard and for as long as I do though, like a bear, but my dreams are the most fun anyone could imagine.

Imagine being a with a movie star. You're surrounded by comedians, directors, editors, agents, producers. You're getting paid a check for $4000.00 just for being on location. You're not doing anything other than playing a role and having a lot of hysterics in the process. Coincidentally, the filming location is the funnest place you've ever been! In fact, it's an adventure to a place you've NEVER been or imagined you could be. And if you collect something special, it just happens to be part of the props for the filming. Like, I'm into heavy metal records and the location had extremely rare, sealed records, even picture discs.

Now, that's my dreams for the past 3 nights in a row! In my slumber, I'm a budding Actor and everyone one is giving me a hand up.

Ironically, when I awake, I'm always in need of a hand out.

These dreams are very enlightening. Thank you GOD, for giving me Lucid dreams! What a lesson I'm learning. If I can, I'd like ask you to keep up the good work, it's actually making me consider getting an agent. Plus, it's showing me that I do need to own up and take responsibility for my actions. People are willing to give, there's no need to deceive or pretend, like an "actor".

Now, I just need to have HOPE and stay POSITIVE. And continually move into the direction of Love and Honesty!

Take heed, Michael! The World is yours. Go and take it!

[If it results in a positive outcome, it's "IT"...]

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Need Money

Dec 10, 2010 - 0 comments
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MONEY

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family

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Love

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Hope

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Women are interested in 50% money, 40% attraction, and the other 10% are things they say they care about but really don't. i.e. intelligence, sense of humor, honesty, sensitivity etc.

I've been with the same Woman since I was 19, my first "real" attraction was to her. I had never felt connected to a person like I do her. But I must say, that even though I was flat broke and didn't have a car, she told me the only thing that mattered to her was LOVE. i.e. communication, honesty, trust, someone who made her feel good about themselves.

Well, things suddenly, like a blessing, poured in thousands of dollars a Month. We were living middle class in no time. I worked, she stayed home (was a home maker). Long story short, when the times got rough, the doubt and insecurity crept in like a virus and it has been there ever since.

I have become DEPENDENT on her approval to the point that MY OWN self esteem is so low, I don't have any hope of keeping a steady job, let alone rebuilding my own business. It all seems so "unimportant" to me. Because the MOST important thing to me is... having our issues RESOLVED! Been trying to resolve them issues since 1998. And I'm die-hard dedicated to keeping my Family together, but She keeps branching down other Avenues losing track of "keeping the Family together and IN LOVE".  WTF!

I get accused of cheating, no matter where I work. Yet, I'm faithful. I get accused of drinking, when I don't. I get accused of her being depressed and lying around. I get accused of being the fault for the way this she-ite has become.

I am guilty, I acknowledge it with her. She resents me and WILL NOT own up to her own mirror.

Theresa, I love you with my heart and soul, girl. Please, please, please, you beautiful thang, support me. I know the 3 kids are all you can handle. Quit being a control freak and let me have some responsibility. They're my children too!

Hopefully, one day...  Michael

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