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The Next Story from Chat With a Friend

Mar 27, 2011 - 3 comments

My Friend asked for my next story, so here goes:

My other story involves the death of my mother.  It was a major turn of events in my spiritual life, of how I viewed things and my total faith in God.  I do of course slip at times but of course I am only human.

December 30, 2001: I received a call from my Dad asking me to help him get my mother in the van as she was ill and he could not do it alone.  She had multiple physical back problems and was not an invalid but had problems moving on her own.  He had battled all night with her having diahrea.  He had called an ambulance, but they came by and told him that all the hospitals were on drive bys as they were sooo busy at that time of the year.  This was New Years Eve Eve.  They advised him to take her own his own in the morning and he could probably get in easier!!! Her blood pressure was about 80/30.  So I rushed over the 30 minute drive, and we took her in.  At first they said she was dehydrated gave her some fluids and would send her home.  I was appalled bc she was very ill in my opinion.  Well they decided to keep her. Put her in a regular room and continued IV fluids and some meds.  I stayed with her that night.  She remained stable.  The next night I stayed at home and got a call that they were putting her in ICU.  I rushed to the hospital and they let me see her but I could only visit briefly. She remained stable that day. The next night I got a call that they were intubating her.  Again rushed to the hospital. She was getting worse.  We began making calls to her family members and had my sister flown in.  (I do not get along with her very well.)  She continued to go down hill and we all prayed and prayed.  My uncle, a preacher, had us surround her and pray for her healing.  This whole time I felt an uncomfortableness.  I stayed at the hospital around the clock and my best friend came every night and spent the night with me on the ICU waiting room floor, where I would occasionally sleep.  One night a man was rushed in for heart problems and his poor wife alone and desperate was beside herself. She was crying uncontrolably and was left alone.  Something made me get up and go wrap my arms around her , a stranger and start praying with her.  I had NEVER done anything like that.  The praying part.  I have always been caring and would even help a stranger or offer a helping hand but NOT PRAY ALOUD in front of others.  My friend was amazed as well.  The doctors came out and went from he will not make it to, he is doing great and will survive!!
Well I continued to pray for my mother, but she lapsed into a unconciousness.  They continued to increase the oxygen until it was at 100%, not very good for the lungs.     One time when I was alone, I walked the halls and found my way to a little sub-chapel.  I entered, and went to my knees in front of the Bible and asked for God's guidance.  I began opening the Bible to pages that would always fall radomally to scripture about following Gods' Will.  And suddenly it hit me!!!  I was praying selfishly.  I wasn't praying for Gods Will to be done.  I was praying for Sharon's Will to be done.  I began to cry and asked for His forgiveness and prayed strictly for His Will and Only His Will to be done.  I prayed for strength for whatever would happen that I be filled with Peace.  I prayed for my Fathers well being.  But I kept praying for His Will.  I realized that  I was trying to bend his will to my desire.  I have always been a strong believer in Christ and have a deep bond with God.  But I never gave it all over to his Will.  Without my own reservations and wants.  I prayed first for God to hear my prayer, I prayed next for His Will, Then for not understanding but total faith that I would trust him and his decisions to be what is best for my mother. I would totally accept whatever that was and finally I prayed that He would answer my Prayers In Jesus Christs' name.  I added a P.S.  out of my human selfishness and concern for my mom that which ever way He answered that it would be swift, to not allow her to suffer and linger in that condition..  
I went from confusion and despair to absolute and total peace.  A peace I had never ever known.  One I did not even know existed.  Something I cannot not describe.  Total calm, warmth, surrounded with strength and satisfaction.  It was not Wow, it was "I finally get it"!!!! It was happiness.
Mom did not improve and I knew .  I knew from the moment I said Amen.  She would be leaving this place of pain and struggle for her.  She had fought and battled for so many years,  such a struggle for her.  My Dad struggled with her and it was pulling him down.  Her surgeries, cancer, Sjogrens, wheel chairs, walkers, and thru it all she had strength in God!  She kept on going. she shopped and wore brightly vivid colors.  She was almost gaudy in her bright colors!   But she lay there pale and unmoving.  She wasn't fighting anymore!!
That night laying on the floor , I feel asleep in a crowded ICU  and dreamt of her young, in a flowery flowing dress blowing in the wind, as she climbed a hill of brightly colored flowers and almost at the top she turned and waved this handkerchief at me at the bottom of the hill.  I still see it!! Then she turned and went on over the hill.  And I woke up!!!  I knew!!! And I was Thrilled!!!! For Her and that God was answering my prayers that HE DO HIS WILL.  
At visitation, she was still alive but the nurse put an arm around me and said "Sharon, I believe that she is on a different Plateau now."  Yes, that was the word " a different plateau"  like she was on a higher level!!!  I was so awed that she would use that word. Plateau.  Like in my Dream.  God had prepared me.  Peace filled my soul and heart.  
Dad had asked me to help him make a decision, the doctors had asked him about unplugging the machines, and I said oh yes Daddy.  It is her time for Peace!  I left the Hospital and showered and to get my children.  When I returned she was gone.  Gone to Heaven!!  I didn't feel sad or hurt I was so happy.  Only God did that for me.  I turned it all over to him and he took care of it and he took care of me.  I had the strength to help my poor grieving Father!
My  sister did some hurtful things, but He again gave me strength to deal with it.   I was invaded with all my mom's family coming in and I did it with Peace and A Smile.  I Shed very few tears.  In fact I sit here crying more tears than I did then.  
God taught me a Gift!! We Must Trust in Him and the ONLY way to do that it is to turn it all over to him and not take it back.  We can't pray at night and give it to him and then wake up in the morning and take it back.  To start worrying about it again is like we arent trusting in His Will.  But we are humans and we will stumble and we will make mistakes.  We will be stingy and selfish.  The thing about it is we need to remember that our prayers are not a wish list, or for our desires.   We should pray for God's Desires and have faith in that what he does is what we want for our life.  
Now since that time I have trusted his judgement instead of my own.  But not always.  I fail!  I am selfish! I hurt, get mad, sometimes even curse.  But I return to my knees!  For it is to humble yourself before the Lord by praying on your knees.  The Bible speaks of praying  for your prayers to be heard, for them to be answered and to pray them all in Jesus Christ name, Amen!    
This is MY story of Faith and Trust in God.  It has been my salvation in my life. The loss of my mother was a joyful experience!!  I know that she is filled with Joy as well and is a bright vision up there!!

Chat with A Friend

Mar 23, 2011 - 5 comments
Tags:

Miracles!!!

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Course in Miracles

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GOD HEAR MY PRAYER



In 1987 I started having breast milk suddenly.  My daughter was born in 1982 so this was a bit strange, to make a long story not too short, after blood work that showed nothing, 6 mths later my reg md sent me for a cat scan and there was the tumor on pituitary.  Several tests and lots of appts later, they finally got the first MRI machine installed in our city at the hospital , so I was "lucky" enough to have the first one.  But before that happened I had to have a arteriogram done on my brain to rule out an aneuroysm, While I was in the basement of the hospital (Radioology was down there)  I was in my fashionable gown(ha, note the sarcasm) and there wa a knock on the door, a nurse said I had a guest and would I see him.  It was a friend of mines' husband who was a preacher and I of course would see him.  He said he wanted to pray with me before my test.  During this prayer he requested "that from this moment on, the doctors would not find anything wrong and that whatever I had would be taken from me"  Well , I felt like the hospital opened up in this cone shape opening that came straight to my head.  No lights, no noise, my eyes were shut, just this feeling of warmth and peace.  Well that test showed no aneuroysm, but the dr's were only doing it to rule out anyway.  But weeks later when I finally had the first MRI done in Beaumont, Texas...The Tumor was gone.  Vanished.     Blessed.  I was Blessed.  So many prayers were being said for me and I got to know the exact moment they were answered!!!!  I still get chills today telling the story!  I use every oppurtunity to share it.  And it continues to bless me every day.  Now you would think that was the end of story.  But No it is not.

Years later, in 2005 I had to have back surgery and found out I have a major birth defect in my neck.  Two of my vertabrae only formed half way leaving my spine partially exposed AND my cervical neck is growing backwards and is now pressing on my esophagus, causing yet another swallowing issue.  But I was having some really major pain in my neck and spasms.  My neurologist in Houston wanted to do some type of shots, and asked about my history.  I mentioned the tumor and how it had disappeared and how I had had numerous MRI's since but it was gone.  He was glorified in my story, but still wanted a new MRI before he could do the shots.  So I appeased him!! But guess what?  I got a phone call and There was a new one.  In the exact same spot.  Now some may say it had never left and was hiding.  But I know that with so many multiple MRI at so many different facilities one of them would have showed in 17 years!  And I have numerous doctors that will attest to that as well.  I believe it was for the naysayers!  The ones that doubted that I had the first one.  (One Radiologist in '87, said it was probably just an artifact in the film or part of my sinus in the brain).  Now, most would say, "pray it away again"  but in my prayers, God choose for me to have it removed this time and led me to an excellent surgeon.  Maybe as proof that yes after a 5 hour surgery there was in fact a tumor there.  

Miracles happen everyday.  Not little ones!  Great Big, Big ones!  My belief is that people just don't share them.  And some don't recognize them! And some Call them Science, Fate or Karma. But NO ...they are miracles!  Jesus walked on water and he removed my tumor!! Miracles!!  We see them everyday , but people won't acknowledge them.  The fact that we are even conversing over thousand of miles. God gave knowledge to people. Miracles!  And the world does not give HIM the credit.  He gave you and me the blessing of finding a friendship!  Because we are believers, he used this illness of ours to a greater good.  To spread his word.  GOD literally used YOU a few hours ago to reach out to me and gently shake me... to remember his Miracles.  Thank You Jesus.  As tears fall, I am grateful.  I am free again to shake off this gloom and spread his word. And to spread some cheer. And that is who I am.

Thank you, Thank you,  for telling me your miracle!! You let God work thru you and help me.
I will be praying for you.  Praying that yet another miracle will bring healing and peace to your body and mind.  I know it will happen.  And I know that maybe your mission is like mine.  That you need to tell others of your miracle!! Maybe he is using me to in return tell you to Go Tell It From The Mountain!!!!!

God is my Strength and Salvation!!! I will go forward as a stronger person.  Renewed and Enpowered!!

When my doctor asked me the question "what would I do or think if they could not find an answer or there was not a pill that would help me"....I answered to her... "I have God and I have Prayer" .  She smiled at me and nodded!!  
I didn't recognize him then, but I sure do now!!!     Why  did I put that part away?,  I would have to say the devil was trying to pull me into depression.  But with you and God, you both reached out your hand and pulled me back out!!

Blessings,    -sass-

Post From gimel

Mar 05, 2011 - 0 comments

Well!! I just finished reading this article and found it to be most eye-opening!!  It makes me wonder who is leading this cosensus panel and why they would possibly believe that routine testing for thryroid conditions should be limited.  Especially when the findings of these diseases could considerbly lend earlier treatment for those possibly with diabetes, pregnant women with hypothyrodism, hashimoto's, and many other diseases.  These deliberations should be in the betterment of the welfare towards  these conditions, not limitations.  Not to say anything about the thousands of us that suffer the debilitating symptoms of thyroidism.  If Iand my son had be routinely tested at an earlier date we may still have an active thyroid gland.  Me and my mother-in-law's pituitary tumors may have been found earlier..My mother-in-law would not have lost her eye sight due to her Pituitary tumor rupture.  Young men and women would not be spending thousands upon thousands trying to treat infertility issues.  Instead they would be parents.

Subclinical hyperthyroidism is defined as low serum TSH levels associated with normal free T4 and free T3 levels.    Why would they want to prevent these routine and early tests? Is it because that it would effect the individual agencies, health maintenance organizations, and the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services who often use published guidelines to limit reimbursement for both testing and therapy?? As well as the Insurance agencies.  Who again are on these panels??

So when our primary-care physicians, physician assistants, and nurse practitioners  use guidelines as a care tool, under the assumption that they are the best distillation of advice from research and experts in the field, they could be actually being misled.  Our health depends on these findings.  

In the statement I copied below of this article, I would hope our praticioners will be allowed to treat their patients instead of having inappropriate guidelines treating us.
  "In our view as both practicing and academic endocrinologists, the potential benefits of early detection and treatment of subclinical thyroid dysfunction significantly outweigh the potential side-effects that could result from early diagnosis and therapy. Because the potential harm of early detection and treatment appears to be so minor and preventable, it seems prudent to err on the side of early detection and treatment until there are sufficient data to definitively address these issues."

Thank You for bringing this article to our attention.  I have learned some of the significance of the reasons of why our doctors may not be treating their patients but being conservative instead of proactive. With the publication of this article maybe their hands will be untied.
Sass

headache-  2-3-11

Mar 03, 2011 - 1 comments

Woke up about 4:00 am with a headache.  Had a pretty good and very busy day at work.  Pain in all joints, worse in legs and hips. So ready to get this ultrasound done.  I want to know about these nodules and lymph nodes in neck.  March 18 seems far away.  Not worried, just ready to move the wheels forward.  
Ya'll might get a good laugh out of this one,  Instead of picking up and taking my Levo from my bedside this morning at 4 am, I picked up and took my 14kt gold back to my earring instead!  lol!!!! And no, I will not be looking for it. ( It had got stuck somehow in my little pill box.  When I went to put on earrings the back was missing, I went and looked in pill box and there was my levo!!  Used to store my earrings in the pill box!! I had never used it for pills before this week.  Silly me!!