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Level ground

Aug 17, 2011 - 5 comments
Tags:

Baby

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family

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Love

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okay



Hey everyone.  I've found myself on pretty level ground these last couple of days.  It was hard at first, but I've accepted the fact of things happening.  I still have some pretty hard days now and again when everything just comes flooding in -- but overall I'm doing okay.  I just look at my babies and I know that he's the one that screwed up/is screwing up and he's the one that is missing out on so much.  Although I'd rather that not be the case, it's how it is.  I feel like I kind of found myself again through this whole mess.  I'm just hoping that things go well from here on out.  I'm still at my parents for the time being.  Been working and just paying off all my bills and whatnot -- going to try to get a better car and save up some money so I can buy a house or land or something instead of wasting all my money renting.  I figure $500 a month for a year is $6,000 -- that instead of wasting I can save and put as a down payment or something on anything else.  We'll see how things go though.  It's still hard a little when I talk to him, but I left it in God's hands and asked him to please let Bryan make the decision that will be best for our family and for the babies and me.  I can't make him do something he doesn't want to do and I can't make him love me or want to be with me.  I've come to those terms in my own head and things are going along okay so far.  Please keep me and the babies in your thoughts and prayers as I'm sure that's why I've made it this far with this state of mind!!!  God bless you all and thank you so much for everything that you've done for me :)  I'll keep in touch!!!

WHY?!!!

Jul 11, 2011 - 6 comments
Tags:

WHY

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Life

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family

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Work

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coincidence



Why when things start going good it always gets all messed up again.  I'm so sick of all this.  Seriously.  I don't even know what's happening with everything anymore. Ugh. Just going day by day -- hour by hour, like everyone else.  It's so hard for me -- I'm used to planning out everything way in advance and knowing what I'm going to be doing before doing anything.  Now I'm just "going with the flow" and I hate it.  I'm putting my faith in the Lord that everything will work out for the good and soon. Sometimes I feel as though when I tell someone something that is happening in my life good it jinxes it and things get screwed up.  I'm not very superstitious at all, but it happens EVERY single time.  Constant coincidences? Starting to doubt that.  I'm not telling anyone anything anymore. Please keep my family in your prayers!

Accomplished? maybe...lol

Jul 06, 2011 - 3 comments
Tags:

accomplished

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toes

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packing

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Cleaning

,

organizing



Hey, been cleaning and organizing some stuff, still have to go outside and go through everything but it's too damn hot to do that right now, waiting til later and gonna do all that stuff.  I'm feeling better today and more accomplished even though I didn't get as much done as I should have for the time being.  Hey, with two little kids I think I did pretty damn good :) haha.  Anyway, gonna get back to cleaning now and hopefully fill up some more totes and tape'em up!  A while back I bought some purple and teal duck tape for them so it makes me happy when I get to use it :) Dork? Yes, I know lol.  But whatever helps right? haha....Heather, totally doing that thing you told me about too :) Everyone have a great day!!! :D

P.S. Sorry I haven't been on so much lately!!!

P.S.S. (you know it's really supposed to be P.P.S.?) Anyway, lol does anyone know what I can safely clean pictures with?  Like I found some pics that I got from my hubby's grandma a while back that she was throwing out that had been through their house fire, so most are all black and have soot and stuff, I want to put them all in an album before I get up there with Hubby but need to clean them first and don't want to mess them up more....thanks :D

update Update UPDATE!! :)  

Jun 28, 2011 - 4 comments
Tags:

update

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Work

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family

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help

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packing

,

moving



Hey everyone!!  Just wanted to update everyone on what's happening with me and everything :)  

Things are going super well with EVERYTHING!!!  So thank you everyone who have kept me and my family in your thoughts and prayers :)  They are much appreciated!!!  Hubby is doing well with the job and getting more jobs and stuff.  Also doing well with the addiction side of things too.  I'm really proud of him and he is proud of himself.  He knows that he is doing well and that everyone "approves" so it really gives him a boost of confidence :)  I started work again last Friday.  Things are well with that too.  They gave me my keys and said "Go run the floor" on the first day back!!!  I was kind of like uhm??? lol But everything came back so fast so it's good.  I"m glad that I went back, I needed a little break from everything and some "time for myself" if you can call it that lol.  Thanks again to everyone!  Now I just have to pack pack pack as I'm guesstimating that I'll be moving in the next 3-4 weeks.  

Does anyone have any cleaning/sorting/organizing/packing advise???? lol I really need it.  I have a LOT of stuff and need to minimize and pack the best way possible.  My husband says "just bring clothes for like two weeks and the little stuff you need and we'll get new stuff"  He hates packing and moving lots of stuff, and I' don't want to get rid of stuff just to go buy the same thing again as soon as I get there you know?  I'm frugal. lol.  So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me!!! lol

Planning on cleaning and stuff today as much as I can, maybe take the babies swimming when naps are over, not sure yet though.  Trying to stay motivated today :) And still smiling ;)