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010116

Jan 02, 2016 - 0 comments

Happy New Year...
Didn't get enough sleep last night to be up n working this morning but I did... Thank goodness
"this time" boss is to cheap to let me have an 8 hr day at holiday rates. Got to go in at 9am (but, lost
2 hrs work, didn't come out ahead...

After work Bob & I had to go to Wal Mart to get essentials... (Need my coffee packs for morning...)
On the way home, Bob mentions he's spoken with Michael briefly when they came to pick up the girls in the morning. Michael wasn't aware I didn't have to work at 7am New Years Day. . .

I knew he didn't mean anything by all of them leaving 30 min before the new year... Yet, it still was depressing
& lonely...

In the end, I'm rather glad he went home early so he wasn't driving home after midnight when the cops would be prowling...

Why am I so lost & empty?



123115

Jan 02, 2016 - 0 comments

Another day working. Not feeling good or bad for the most part. Work irritations & agitations.

Surprisingly not the least bit excited for tonight. Michael & Bob have this New Years Party planned
out. Mostly people from their work.
Although I'm normally extremely nervous about these situations because I have no clue how
to fit in... For some reason, I'm kind of, just blank.

After work I slowly got ready & Michael, Leslie & the girls showed up but Bob had been just sitting on the couch

Michael got Bob to go out n start the bon fire. Not long after, Michaels dad called & said his car was just stolen from the driveway (it had several of the nights dishes & Michaels "bottle" in the trunk.)

Needless to say, Michael got moody, he & Leslie left to see if they could run into it somewhere in our little town.
Yee  Haw... Another night started off well. Thinking I'll take it easy tonight til the girls go to sleep, just 1 of those nights I can't be sure what to expect.

As usual, everyone comes & I'm left to take care of things. Everyone's with Bob n Michael outside at the bonfire/

Feeling a little left out but strangely a little numb still too. Enjoy setting the girls up with their movies & coloring tables, But can't go outside for very long because can't watch them from out there. . .

Thank god Chris's car was found so quickly so everyone's mood changed to pretty good & gave them all something to discuss for quite some time.

Finally got my grandbaby girls to sleep just after 9pm.

Bob can't even stand straight. Love him, but would be nice if he'd waited a little for me.

Bob goes to the bedroom to put his slippers on & disappears, he's down for the night already..
I am able to get him ton "promise" me he would at least get up in 3 hrs for the New Year before he gets sick & passes out.

I'm just settling into my 1st "real" strength drink, starting to relax a little & 3 of the work people are leaving because 2 are felling no pain & the driver wanted her turn to be able to drink.

It was just Michael, Leslie, Chris, Ashley Jonathan & his girlfriend left & Michael, Jonathan, his gf & myself were having a good time.
Then...
They all wanted to leave to go to Michael's...

30 min before New Years, I'm sitting by the bon fire all by myself.



123015

Dec 31, 2015 - 0 comments
Tags:

My family

,

son

,

Grand

,

adore my grandson

,

depres



Had grandbaby girls last night.
Did their hair and nails and they stayed here with me all day.

It was a good day. Abigail & Maggie were great company today.
Abigail was so worried when I slit my thumb trying to sharpen my favorite kitchen knife today
when she came in the kitchen & I instinctively went to protect her from the sharpness by placing my hand in front of the downward swipe of the knife as I was just halfway through a sharpening sweep when she came in, saying, "Gamma, are my noodlz ready???"

After Bob came home from work, we went to Michaels for my Tamale Casserole.
Papa and Ashley came for the girls just before dinner & Bob & I were able to just, relax and watch movie with Michael & Leslie.

Don't remember the last time the 4 of us were able to just "kick it" and watch a movie.

Tonight... I'm Good...


Tonight was a RARE, BUT GOOD NIGHT...

122015

Dec 30, 2015 - 0 comments
Tags:

feeling



Work called me early to see if I could cover for Varina (coworker) who couldn't get into work.

Bob told them that I needed a day off & had plans.

I woke & heard that & was sort of glad but kept feeling guilty.
Checked in with Christine at work & found out she & Jamaica were the only 2 working.
I let her know I would be avail for a short while if needed after I got back from the store.
Bob felt he needed cornflakes for the meal he was hard at by the time I'd gotten up.

He worked very hard on the meal deep frying all day long.
Autumn got up and helped a little but kind of went AOL on him. I jumped in and was happy to be included.
He was starting to stress some but kept it together.

Luckily, work was able to get coverage. I was able to have the whole day off.

I went & picked up the grandbabies earlier than needed. Figured, I wasn't going to be "necessary" all day waiting for Michael & grandbabies after the game.

By time I got back, Bob was stressing. Autumn wasn't able to be in the kitchen much & I kept wanting to help him & be with grandbabies. Thought I'd do some sledding with them but I had to put them aside & felt guilty about bringing them & just doing that to them but knew Bob was stressing & I went to help.

Dinner went off fairly well. Food was great. After everyone left, Bob  kids played Poker for a while.

They all looked pretty happy...