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Truth is never pure, and rarely simple.

Jun 09, 2012 - 0 comments
Tags:

Anxiety

,

Eating disorders

,

Life

,

truth

,

betrayal



Have you ever felt like your walking down the street and everyone seems to be flying past you 10X faster, everyone going on with their busy lives smiling and talking on the phone?... Well i have, and dont get me wrong i had places to go but no matter what i did the fog wouldnt lift. So there i was stuck walking down the street, walking as yet another person gone un-noticed, but on that point even if i was noticed im sure many people wouldnt care correct? Do i even want to be noticed... i really dont know, ive spent so long hiding and trying to fade into the back, did i finally succeed? Succeed at completely errasing myself from society as a noticed human being? and if i have then why does it bug me when all along my aim was to go un-noticed, to faid in to the back of the croud and be left on my own.

So all these feelings arose late into the evening, it was an ok day i suppose we had a family meal coming up at my fiencees house with his family so naturally my anxiety was extreemly high (lets just say they are not the healthiest people i know and they dont eat very good food). Now i was sitting there after ariving looking at the food selection trying to figure out how many calories i was going to eat, what i was going to eat, the fat content in the food i was going to eat, if i was going to eat and purge or if i was going to purge should i binge and purge to make it worth it what about my laxitives or diuretics? so naturally my head was a huge mess. Well that was just the start everyone was breaking out into fights and i once again sat in the corner and said nothing, well maybe i should have because soon after everyone turned on me, funny thing is i never said a word to any of them. all these things broke out and the peosons baby shower i was supposed to be going to, well it turns out she had been talking about be behind my back and also setting me up thouh i did say things about the other girl some of what she had told her was false and i ammitted to the other girl what i said and that it was ou-t of anger and that i was sorry but still everyone still attacked me.... i was a sitting duck always quiet and shunned to the back now i had a bunch of snakes scuying around me just waiting to attack and trust me they did.....

Im going to leave it at that today so ill talk to you guys later....

yours truly.

PLEASE READ THIS!!! UNTIL YOU DO PLEASE DO NOT MESSAGE ME!

Jun 08, 2012 - 2 comments
Tags:

anorexia

,

bulimia

,

support

,

ednos

,

Life

,

Eating disorders



So, I'm new to this site but I'm going to give this a shot. Most people unlike me are not as brutally honest about their eating disorder, I plan to be as honest as possible hoping that maybe someone will feel less alone with their mental illness (and yes people an eating disorder is a mental illness and it is veryyy hard to overcome). Now on that topic i would like to say I am not a "pro- anorexic" at all and I am definitely not here to promote, help, or encourage people to continue their illness. I do not wish to talk to any members that would fall under the category "wannarexic" which I classify as someone who aspires to have an eating disorder, wants to "use" anorexia or bulimia as a diet or weight management plan, or someone who thinks having an eating disorder is a way of life or personal choice. Eating disorders are very serious, I will not except or give tips of any kind for weight loss or anything to do with promoting someone to have an eating disorder. If you have a real eating disorder you would not require tips, but if you want to talk, receive support, or anything like that if your ever feeling down or alone I would definitely love to talk to you.

Yours truly:
     Truly_perfect