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Oct 08, 2008 - 11 comments

So I did an u/s today, fully accepting that I may not see anything, but something deep down told me I'd get good news. I thought I'd be so nervous, being I've never, in the last 15 months & 3 pregnancies, seen a baby, or a heartbeat. Well we saw a heartbeat for the 1st time EVER!! It was going 180BPM, and we saw our lil bean. WHAT A SHOCK!! First we got the shock of being prego 2.5mo after my last m/c and no trying, then we got the amazing shock of seeing a real lil bean w/ a real lil HB. I also measured correctly for the first time ever as well, 6wks.

We're on cloud 9, but still being cautiously happy. We jumped thru a couple hurdles and made it, but I know we've got a couple more. I guess my cocktail of meds is actually working!

Praying for all you ladies that have hurdles, I'm right there w/ you! Wowen take for granted being able to make a baby just like that, then all they do is go thru a couple months and there's their baby. Then there's women like us that have to take this and that, and have to do who knows what just to have a baby. It make you think, it's just not fair.

Well, we're the STRONGER ONES, and these journey's only make us STRONGER!


Oct 06, 2008 - 7 comments

Well, it's been a while since I updated my journal, something which I use to update quite frequently in May, June & some of July. Then there was the shock of a 3rd missed m/c, and the D&E in the middle of July. DH & I decided to take some time off from the TTC journey, but I kept on w/ my "cocktail" of meds, baby aspirin, prenatal, folbic tablet, and an extra mg of folic acid.

So a week ago Sun, after realizing AF was 7days late, I decided to do an EPT, only because I wanted to rule out preg, cuz there was NOWAY I could be prego. I figured since it was only the 2nd AF since the D&E, that it was just going to be weird, and come whenever it wanted. And being DH & I might have BD maybe 4x all month, I just didn't think I could be prego. So I do the test, and low & behold, a complete shocker, a BFP!

This will be our 4th preg in 15 months. We're are CAUTIOUSLY happy. I've done 2 betas, had good numbers that doubled in 2 days, BUT ultimately an u/s will tell us what we need to know.  I've been offered to do an u/s this Wed, where i'll be 6W5D, but I'm REALLY scared. Getting the great betas took a really heavy weight of my shoulders, but the u/s will tell me the real truth. I do have a different outlook on things these days. I left everything in God's hands, and I got prego. If this baby isn't in his plan, then I can accept it.

I'm praying my cocktail of meds is doing the job. Still contemplating the u/s this wed, I suppose I should just get things over w/ to see if we're going to get good news.

I was a Feb09 mommy, and I miss all the mommies on the site. Seeing all the progressing u/s pics and adorable belly pics always pick me up! You all helped me thru a really hard time!

I'm praying that i end up a May 09 mommy!


Aug 29, 2008 - 2 comments

I haven't been on the site in a while, not really for any reason but been trying to keep myself busy. I think about all the mommy's & get on to check on ya guys. It's been a good month & a half since the D&E, and AF just came & went. I was suprised it came so quick. I was expecting it to take at least 2 months since last 2 m/c's took 2months+ to get AF. So as unpleasant as having a D&E is, it was a pretty easy procedure all around.

I tested + for alpha thalasemia. All I know about it is, my red blood cells aren't producing or carrying enough oxygen to my body. So if DH tests + for it, it would be the reason I'm miscarrying. Don't know what treatment is. DH & I are going thru genetic counseling in the next couple wks, meaning my DR's are giving both of us every test under the sun. Until I have every test back, we're not going near TTC. I refuse to get thru a 4th m/c, but it is in God's hands, so whatever his plan is, is his plan.  So, I've got the MTHFR prob, now this alpha-thalasemia thing, I suppose I'm just glad DR's are finding things, instead of finding nothing, and having no reasons behind the m/c's.

I'm still staying +, with little bouts of depression, when I think about it, but overall I'm making it. I believe in God's plan, and I know THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.


Aug 16, 2008 - 1 comments

So I haven't really been on Med Help in a while. If I see I have an email I've checked it & got signed right off. I guess in the past couple months I've been so immersed in TTC, I just figured after the D&E, it was time to take a break. My DH&I are still BDing, we're just not doing OPT's and all that jazz. I figure if it happens, it happens, and it was meant to be. No more trying to make it happen. I think I'm on the right meds & vitamins to help the next pregnancy, at least according to the DR's I am, so we'll see what happens! I suppose I'm half TTC to conceive, and half not...LOL. I never miss a dose of my baby aspirin, or my crazy dose of vitamins & folic acid. It's unbelievable how much i'm taking!

I suppose after the 3rd m/c, it gets a LITTLE easier to accept...i think. I've put the m/c in the back of my mind, but sometimes it rears it's ugly head and I get sad, but I know things happen for a reason, and I'm still "the glass is half full" girl that I've always been.

I know it will happens for me, and the rest of us out there who pray everynight for a lil one!

I LOVE seeing everyone' s belly pics and sono pics! Believe it or not, they pick me up!