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happy birthday katie

Oct 24, 2008 - 6 comments
Tags:

happy

,

birthday

,

mom



today is going to be a very long and bad day.. if my youngest would have lived she would have been 18 today.. katie lynn pased away on feb 24 1991, she was 4 months old to the day she died.. she was a victim of SIDS.. i can rememebr that day like it was yesterday.. and at times it really haunts me i was the last one to feewd her and put hewr to bed the nighjt before... god i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy no parent shoulkd have to bury a child.. i losy my mom this last past feb.. not a good month in my life but i know they are waithing for me and mom is taking care of katie and one day we will walk the streets of glory together hand in hand  i love you katie and mom

life

Oct 21, 2008 - 8 comments
Tags:

family

,

Chest

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depressed

,

my kids



as u all could tell if u red any my journels i have been depressed,, had many ppl around me pass away to the better life,, hgi mom , i will be there noe day take care of katie till i get there. anyways this is where i thnk many of u all will probbly say ur messed up.. my two oldest kids have moved away, one with her husband and family and my son off to college in slippery rock pa.. which is why we raise them to be in depedent and grown, my youngest is still finding herself, and at 19 i understand that,, i always tell her she was born 20 yrs too late....hipppie at heartr.. but she will be fine.. now i dont want scolding or ******* letters to this respose, but i told all my kids if they ever wanted to try pot to come to me and well they did.. my oldest gets it honestly shes like me ..loves it, my son hates whcich for him thaqt is great and my youngest is a wild chil so nomore be said...maybe i am a bad dad but when they heed advice or comfort they call or come and seee me...anuyways got of track, i stopped listening to music and now i started again and feeling like a human being again dont know what it is about music, i mostly listen to clssic rock . southern rock and jimmy buffett....what a mix but works for me.. hope i did t offend anyone with thid entry wasnt meant too just had to get it off my chest and if you all hate.. weell rememebr what Jimmy Morrison said " lets get our kicks before the whole **** houe gose up in flames"....lmfao      brian

today

Sep 23, 2008 - 2 comments

hope everyone has a good day i am off to dialysis here in about 15 minutes, will be there to about 10;30 then sleeep most of the day ... wonderfull day huh????

depresion and death

Sep 20, 2008 - 4 comments
Tags:

deaths

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cancers

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kidney

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depressed



last couple of days i have been so depressed, seems like nothing but death is around me, couple of ppl from dialysis passed away, a girl i grew up with her dad passed about a month ago and the week he died she found out she had pancatric cancer and she died this past week 50 yrs old. i just want to get a kidney so bad i have been on dialysis for 5 yrs now and i just dont know how much more i can stand. i know i am whinning, but hey i gues everyone deserves every once and a while