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I am so confused????????

Aug 14, 2009 - 2 comments

I take 60 mgs of morphine twice a day, have for a long time, I have health issues. I decided a last week I was tired of taking all this medicine, I take others as well, the mophine being the only narcotic. SO I decided to quit c/t. I made it 7 days, was sweating like a pig, cold one minute, hot the next, crawling skin but I thought I could do this, I am always giving advise. Finally on Tuesday of this week, I thought I was gonna die, I should be feeling better not worse, my b/p was off the wall. I finally gave in and went to a little clinic in the town close by. The doctor was old but I had heard he also subscibed suboxone and decided that was what I needed. I know the route, 21 days no more. So I drove my self there, as I walked in to fill out the paperwork the nurse took one look at me and took me back, she took my b/p and even pull the doctor from the room with another patient. They gave me a shot and continued to check my b/p every 5 to 10 minutes. Finally when they got it down to a normal range I saw the doctor and explained I was tired of taking the morphine and wanted to go on suboxone for 21 days. He told me I couldnt, that suboxone wouldnt help me being on such a high dose of morphine, what a minute I thought people on herion and methadone used suboxone and those drugs are so much stronger than morphine. He told me I had to go back on the morphine, I told him I had thrown it away I was so determined to quit. Living in the county I do, no doctor subscribes narcotics. I have to drive 30 miles away to the doctor I was seeing before to get them. This doctor immediately wrote me another script and even called the pharmacy that was getting ready to close and advised that they wait on me, stating I couldnt wait until the next day.  I guess my question was this? why couldnt I take suboxone? I guess my health issues are too bad to ever get off morphine and that makes me sad. I don't like feeling bad or hurting but am so tired of taking all this medication. Thanks for letting me vent. If anyone has any information of suboxone I would appreciate it, but know I will never stop the morphine again.

just me

Jun 08, 2009 - 2 comments

I am so depressed, I don't really know what to do anymore. I can't take much more. I think daily almost hourly about ended it all. Just taking what pain meds I have and going to sleep. The husband doesnt want to find a job, he sits and watches t.v or sleeps all day, when he isnt on the pc playing games. I am tired of stuggling to make ends meet. I am so tired of not having anything and counting change. I am tired of my son  and his girlfriend and them thinking calling me in the middle of the night complaining, drunk or high about each other. I am tired of everything. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I think I am going to leave my husband and find an apartment just for me. I need something good to happen to me. I need to feel alive again and to be happy. I really don't know the last time I was truly happy. My brother fixed my p.c yeah! but I don't know if I can afford internet connection now. Something else to worry about. I guess I am going back to Tennessee today, not sure why. I just feel so alone right now and that life just isnt worth hanging around. The other kids are grown and don't need me and I am so tired of dealing with the youngest. and basically life itself. I just don't know what to do anymore.

whatever happens, happens for a reason

Mar 19, 2009 - 4 comments

Read Each One Carefully & Think About It a Second or Two

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around..

12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.


Do you believe this?

Mar 19, 2009 - 2 comments

Do You Believe This ???

A girl went to her friends house and she ended up staying longer than planned,
and had to walk home alone.
She wasn't afraid because it was a small community and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the bike trail Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a shortcut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were
waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though
someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley
just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the
police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She had two big men walking on either side of her".

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're not alone. People will not stand up for God..

Send this if you truly believe in God....PS: God is always

there in your heart and loves you no matter what:

'If you deny me in front of your friends, I shall deny you in front of my Father'

STAND UP FOR HIM . . . 93% of people won't pass this on.....

Will you be one of them ?