Aug 22, 2014
I feel completely HORRIBLE! i feel so tired even when i slept 8 hours which is the right amount for a human to be healthy, some days i sleep 9 hours if i need another hour, because of my messed up sleeping i go to bed at 7 - 8am (99% of times 7 - 7:30am), but i feel okay most days but it should be better but it's just not that simple getting out, eating healtheir or excersising... just isn't... i would only feel a bit better but always always ickyness no matter what time of the day. Today i feel like i got a tone of wind in my stomach, it started yesterday but wasn't as bad now it's worse an making me feel SO tired even when i slept 8 hours... my energy is just so low, i feel weak and just totally boiling up, not like a fever i just feel too warm! and i'm constantly irritable. My stomach also feels like the couple times i've had bad stomach cramps and i had to kneel down near the toilet and breath in and out, id kneel there for a whole hour until i ether threw up or it just went away, during that i have a fever, really pale, i'm sweating because it's THAT painful, i've no idea if it's something i'm allergic to that only effects me every so often... or it's due to hormones or a defficency, again no idea.
I want to stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down... lol i think i do this because i'm both irritated and frustrated i feel this way, i've always been unable to relax myself especially when i feel ill, i really do i just feel so ill... i guess i'm like my mum she's like that when she gets irritated, just up and down all day until she finally crashes on the couch and falls asleep completely (even when she has to get up for work at 4am or 6am depending on what time she does in during the week), we seriously make ourselves feel worse... haha what are we like? but it's not something we can help, we just don't like feeling horrible :(, really not a happy beaver today i just wish i could go freeze time for 1 day because everything else is starting to irritate me more and more. I'm just feeling like i just want to lye back, do nothing, say nothing, talk to nobody, feel nothing, be nothing... i feel hopeless... just thinking screw everything...
Hopefully i don't get the cramps and throw up, i hated the couple times that happened as it wiped me out, one last thing is i did eat these minty chocolate waves and Swirls that has the wafer and chocolate inside every day for the past 6 days as i got them for my birthday... i looked at the back and they have soya in them so it could be that but no idea... just a speculation lol but i heard it's bad for you not good... i told my parents to NOT get me chocolate for any occasian because i cannot control myself with it, i eat all of it very quickly but they do :( i can't help myself.. .chocolate.. good... mmm... haha you know how it goes... but still doesn't explain feeling icky every day and my period stopping. We are getting takeaway tonight (again bad food), but i'm choosing a chicken fillet burger which has a sesame seed bun and a bit of salad on it which is better than nothing... there is chips too and free cheesy garlic bread, we were goinna go to Tasters but i asked for Chicago's instead because Taster's use GMO burgers not real meat like Chicago's, that would of just made my already churching stomach worse, don't get me wrong i'm hungry as my stomach is rumbling but my body isn't responding to it as much so i feel less hungry than i am. Everything is just running slow, my brain and my whole body just zoomed down in the last 2 days to a halt.