All Journal Entries Journals
Sort By:  

My Body's Going Crazy?!

Oct 16, 2014 - 0 comments






For the past few months ive lost interest in EVERYTHING. I was very worried and talked to people about how i was feelin because i stopped doing things i normally do and didnt want to. They told me to get my blood checked because something just didnt seem right. So at the end of sep. i got my blood drawn. The beginning of this month (oct) we got a call... Basically my thyroid is real low (that part scares me because my nana got thyroid cancer and so what, now im gonna have problems with it?) and Everything is outta whack and unbalanced. My doctor got scared so hes having me go to an Endocrinologist specialist. I mean, if i have hypothyroidism it explains everything. But were thinking all this is happening because when i was recovering from the ED i didnt gradually gain weight, I blew up extremely fast. So maybe my body is still in shock from all that?? Or it could be because the psychiatrist keeps changing my dosages and switched some meds and never even checked my blood to make sure its okay. Ughh!! Right now though, I dont really care. I feel the same way as i described in the beginning of this journal except this time i dont care. But i do wanna get better and be my old self cuz all i do is lay around like i havent slept in forever.

Update On My Life!

Sep 01, 2014 - 0 comments

Its been a while. Let me tell u recovering from an ed is the hardest thing to do. You need a lot of therapy to retrain your brains thoughts on food. Also a lot of prayer and support will help u get through. Its very frustrating and u WILL want to give up because its too hard. But if u really wanna get better u will find the strength and continue recovering.

At the hospital i was 73 pounds. Now i am 112lbs and it feels great. I did get A LOT of stretch marks on my thighs and butt lol. But i love to look at them because it tells a story. Today i am healthy besides dealing with anxiety. But meds and prayer helps with that. I am living proof that u can overcome something horrible.

Long Story Short

Sep 15, 2013 - 0 comments



eating disorder

I've been in the hospital for 6 days and it turns out I have an emotional eating disorder. Trying to get better..

I am more motivated then ever right now

Aug 30, 2013 - 0 comments

I was watching Mystery Diagnoses and this girl had a bunch of terrible symptoms (some of them i had but she was vomiting and her pain was higher up), and she went to so many people without giving up and found out she has sma syndrome. They did a risky surgery on her and she was so happy that she got through this hell she was living in. I just started crying so much because I am hoping so much that this is what will happen to me. Not sma syndrome, But never giving up, finding whats wrong even if you have to do all the research yourself, curing/treating it, and living a HAPPY life and knowing you got through so much and you'll be okay now. I want this more than anything, and she motivated me so much. I'm never going to give up!