On the night which leads to this day (in other words from the 1st to the 2nd) it was my first day back at my own place (not my parents). It is fairly lonely here as I have no friends and am not very social with my neighbor.
Unfortunately my panic attack a while back made me fearful of being alone. I clung to anybody and everybody.
So as my first night back, alone, I was fearful that it would.
My night was going perfectly. But then I started getting mini spikes of anxiety. I took Xanax for them. I've taken a total of 3 now... and I'm just now having a major anxiety spike again.
It makes me nervous because 3 now = 6 of the old dosage. That's A LOT. That should get me high.
I can feel it coming back, strong and powerful. I need to knock myself out of his anxiety. Or I'll get another real one.
On Wednesday night (the night after the above post) I came into the possession of some liquor. I tried to drink but it appears that even something as weak as half of a Mike's hard lemonade can cause increased anxiety, so I am staying away from it for now. What a shame!