Mar 25, 2009
It's been crazy lately - for sure. The last several months have been consumed with finding the cure for this weird throat thing, but luckily, my perseverance has outlasted the illness...my voice is coming back slowly. I have always been a stubborn thing - so I guess me being stubborn lasted longer than the speed of them actually finding out what's wrong with me!
The bad thing is that since I haven't been able to talk, I haven't been able to go to therapy. Actually, it's not been that bad! He gave me some good homework to work with and I am putting a lot into practice. One issue has always been explaining things that bother me without either being too emotional or being furious about it. I have made extremely good progress in that area lately.
On the relationship front - my ex and I have been talking for a long long time (as many of you know), and after much talk and thought, we are going to shack up. I am moving from my townhouse to be at his home (he says OUR home) with our son. Everything is going well, and am I naive enough to think it's going to be fairy tale wonderful all of the time?? NO WAY - he isn't perfect and living with me isn't easy - for sure. We are committed to being there for each other and to raise our son together. We completely enjoy being together - we love each other - and we are each other's best friend. It's going to be hard and we know it. We talk things through now - we don't blow up at each other - we don't wait until something's just eating at us before we talk about it....believe it or not, I have used my therapist advice. NOW, are we getting "married"?? - no - maybe not ever! but we will be together and for each other- like we have been for the last 12 years. I am excited and have been through a couple of "episodes" on both sides, so I know he can stand them and I can recognize them! I have educated, for lack of a better word, on the bipolar issues. .... he is blown away at WHY I did a lot of the things in the past and he recognizes the things he did that triggered them and were just down-right not what a person should do. so.... that's that.
Still, I am struggling with my illness - both bipolar and my throat issues - but feel that I am finally letting my feet hit the floor with both feet planted FIRMLY.
It feels good to fell worthy of love.