My depression is getting bad and I don't know the real reason why. My moods are changing and I'm getting scared I keep getting annoyed by almost anything really. I've even being thinking of how would be like to break up and just follow my life by my self, archive things by self. And to be honest that's stupid cause I was so looking forward to get into a relationship so badly and I was really lonely and I felt good when I got together with my bf. A lot of stuff happened and I ended living with my boyfriend cause I felt like I didn't have another choice. A difficult situation to protect my self emotionally and physically  and I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I do love my boyfriend and everything and I'm sure of getting married but my mind goes stray and I don't know what I want in life anymore. Everything I've been doing so far. I want to figure out what I want. I feel that being here with him is stopping me from doing stuff. than I remember I haven't been able to buy a car because of covid. I have the money but haven't got the chance to just go ahead and buy it.

I'm trying to make a schedule for my life and work and stuff is so hard. I don't know where to start. I know I have to sacrifice a little to gain more. I work in night shift. is getting to me, I've only worked 2 weeks in this job. searching for ideas and such. I wonder where to start. Since I started this whole thing of schedule. half a week ago. I've lost 2 pounds. been doing stuff in the house to start having everything organized and easy access. Trying to start wit balance in the house. In work I have notes and a lot of to do weeks.

to be honest I need a better hobby than putting meals in this list. I like taking care of my help and doing this is fun for me. but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by doing  this. I'm confused with my own self I don't understand. And also I feel the pressure from my self and others specially my boyfriend.

Food Diary

I really have to Add some personal foods. To put the right calories in. I have an app that has that maybe I’ll try that.
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Today I ate normal. I ate a BK cranberry salad with my bf it was a nice moment with him it helped us relax some

This week has been hectic been so ******* hungry all the time. I hope I haven’t gone up again on weight. Gonna do exercises but makes me worry and also have had some nausea and tummy hurt. I hope Im not pregnant but i doubt it since i drink brith control pills.

Food Diary