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Making Plans

Dec 03, 2008 - 0 comments
Tags:

plans

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school

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Travel

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no friends



I am feeling the BEST I have ever felt in my life! I want to buy clothes and my mom took me shopping and it was actually fun because I don't care how the salespeople look at me when I try things on. We went out to lunch!!! This is crazy - my mom and I have never been out to lunch before and it was a little stressful but in the end it was nice... and we're going to do it again.

I am making plans - I have already lost 2 years and my degree it on hold... The thing is I don't really have any real friends that I could travel with. So, that actually is pretty sad.I have friends but not close ones and not the type of friends that I would want to share a hotel room with etc..  so I doubt I am going to be able to travel. My only options are to get a job, continue to volunteer... or try to get back into school. Every time I think about going back it makes my head spin but I need to do SOMETHING!



I gained 3 pounds in ONE week!!!

Dec 01, 2008 - 0 comments
Tags:

abdominal pain

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Weight gain

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Exercise

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sleep



I cannot believe it! I gained 3 pounds in ONE week... and I am really dealing with it pretty well.  :-)

So, now I am allowed to start running again... the truth is, I have been jogging a lot from here to there but not "formally" AND I feel AMAZING! I have been able to sleep 5 hours straight without waking up which is great! I have not been able to do that EVER!

I am mostly happy.... I am still having the sharp abdominal pains when I eat but hopefully I will get over it???

Good Days & Bad Days

Nov 24, 2008 - 0 comments
Tags:

good day

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bad day

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worried

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food

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Weight



I am not going to let "them" ruin my day... I have been feeling so great about everything and I am just not going to fall apart over one bad day. I had my appointment yesterday and I felt really fine about all of it until I get a phone call from my "nutritionist" saying that she wants us to sit down and talk about making some changes - so that means that my doctor called her and said things about the 3 pounds that I lost which really just makes me feel like garbage... and she asked me if I'm "doing things" to make sure that I don't gain any weight.... I explained everything to her and she KNOWS about the Raw Food lifestyle. I am just so frustrated right now!

My parents are being SOOOO supportive of all of my choices right now and helping me stay on this new healthy path. My mom is even the one who bought me my new Breville juicer! I do not want to waste my day crying over this stuff but I am really worried and mad and I am not looking forward to meeting with T the nutritionist and having her weigh me and tell me the same **** again! Well everyone knows how great I am feeling and doing now so I just wish things could be normal all around and everyone would stop staring and talking about this garbage!

Tomorrow will be better!

Getting Healthier!

Nov 23, 2008 - 0 comments
Tags:

healthier

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Weight

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Exercise

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getting healthier

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Eating



I am so happy to say that for the first time in a really long time - I really feel healthier! A good friend of the family (who has known me since before my trouble with eating began - a LONG time) got me into the Raw Food lifestyle. I have really hated food for most of my life and I have learned so much about eating disorders through therapy... it's not even about getting fat!!! ... and now I feel like I can eat, well I am still pretty skinny but I am also healthy at the same time. I also have so much more energy to exercise and as soon as I get permission to go back to running and biking I cannot wait to get going...!!!

I am also down to weighing myself only once per week which was really HARD to do at first but this is my 3rd week at it and I feel like I can do it!  :-)  I actually did not gain ANY weight in the 2 weeks that I weighed myself and I lost 3 pounds this past week even though I feel like I am eating pretty normally but I have been having really bad diarrhea and Dr. M was very stern about me not sticking to the Raw Food plan but he is willing to give me another week before we discuss a change.

Mostly I feel really happy and excited.  I'm past the point of caring what other people think and I am really focusing on being okay with myself and who I am. I want to do more volunteering work because it makes me feel so great when I'm helping other people!!! I also want to go back and do my final year and get my degree... then I have my internship and I'll have to be serious about deciding where I want to go with my career... I really thought I wanted to do Emergency Med. but now I am having serious doubts... AHHH.

I'm going to go make some juice now! Grapefruit, orange, lemon... and apple!