My iGoogle Weight Tracker Journals
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Illness Over

Nov 26, 2011 - 0 comments

Finally feeling totally better by about noon.

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My Illness Began on Thanksgiving

Nov 24, 2011 - 0 comments

After Owen was sick Monday night (lots of vomiting and diarrhea for two hours followed by exhaustion), Ella got sick (lots of vomiting) Thursday morning at about midnight. Then Ella got better after an hour of illness and a few hours' sleep. Then I got sick (diarrhea) and was nauseated for about three days until about midday Saturday, when I had to feel better to see Tom and his fiance.

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Nov 18, 2011 - 0 comments


I just went to a showing of America the Beautiful: The Thin Commandments with a Q&A afterward with some specialists and the director (and fancy hors d'ouvres!) last night. Turns out you can do some serious damage if you starve yourself not even a year. So my new control over eating is not something I should use for anorexia. I thought if I did it for 8 months, it would be fine, but my niece assures me that I'd just gain it all back anyway. I'm not sure I believe that because meds put it on so fast (you won't BELIEVE the stretch marks I've got all over my body now), that I figure meds can take it off just as fast. Anyway, now I have to stop dieting and figure out how to accept myself and do things because I like them, but because I NEED to (like exercise).

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Well, now...

Oct 27, 2011 - 0 comments

Having begun to eat again, I'm finding myself gaining a little bit of weight. I would expect to go up and down anyway, but now I'm expecting that semi-starving myself is going to be a bit of a setback and that my body is going to hoard calories, and rightly so, since I don't know how long I'll be eating regularly.

I'm so excited, though...I was able to only eat two pieces of Halloween candy and a cookie last night, and I didn't really even want those, past the first candy (it was a peanut butter cup, so it was pretty rich). I'm needing to find a balance between not eating and force-feeding myself when I really don't enjoy the food anymore. It's weird to have control like this again, though. I haven't felt this free since I stopped the Risperdal. It's nice to be able to resist food. It's mostly just hard to resist starving myself now.

I'm still wondering what to do about my digestive issues. It seems I'm doing better when I don't eat. Maybe it's the food-to-water ratio. I'm not good at drinking enough water. Perhaps I'm allergic to something. I should call the dr. and see if I should even go in to see her. Probably I should. I'll just ask if I get the courage today.

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