All Journal Entries Journals
Sort By:  

Day 5

May 02, 2014 - 0 comments

I cant beileve it. I really cant beileve it! Seriously day FIVE!!! yaaaaay! In the 2 and half years of constant opiate indulgence and abuse im on day 5 without them and it feels great just knowing that. This is the longest I've ever gone!

I couldnt have made it this far and done it without the help of MedHelp. Like I was told since day 1 it is a community and we push each other for better to ask of ourselves for more.

At this point the withdrawals have died down, I only experience moderate anxiety sparingly throughout the day. My sleeping habits are improving a great deal. I still crave a pill, wish I had one now, but its not too overbearing when I tunnel my energy to something else. Expressing how I actually do want one helps also, instead of trying to smother the thoughts or keep them a secret. Like, the cravings will be there, you have to accept it to get past it.

the gym

Apr 30, 2014 - 4 comments

Yesterday on my day 2 i went to the gym and did 4 miles on the treadmill, 50 squats, and 20 minutes in the sauna, came home washed clothes, cleaned, and organized. when i got out the shower i felt pooped but couldnt quite relax bc my legs STILL felt restless! uggghhh! So i asked my fiance to massage my calves with my stress relief lotion and i guess i fell right to sleep bc next thing i know its 5 am (it was about 1030pm when he started massaging) and everything in the room was dark. lol. i slept... i finally SLEPT! im yawning now and i hope i muster enough energy to go the gym again today so i can have that same affect on myself tonight.

last night

Apr 29, 2014 - 2 comments

It was horrible. Every 2 hours I woke up, bathroom 3 times, tried 4 of the gummy melatonin, which helped with the jitters a bit but still didn't rest easy. My eyes feel so sore and tired but this is one of first times in a long time where I'm just happy to see the sun, to see I made it a little bit further.

One of my good girlfriends is coming to get me to take me to brunch then to feed the ducks. I love her. So encouraging and there whenever for whatever. No appetite but my stomach keeps growling.