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Bad day

Jan 30, 2012 - 30 comments

Went to the Dr today.  was telling her how i had been experiencing mild spotting since finding out i was pregnant.  she wanted me to call my old OBGYN immediately to talk about Winrho shots and perhaps a US to see what's up in there.  I had marek with me and i stood up to pick him up out of his stroller and I felt the bad "GUSH'.  I knew exactly what that was.  i went to the loo and discovered that I had passed quite a bit of red blood.

Went to do a beta today - will be repeating on wednesday.  will be in for a US tomorrow.  I feel crampy right now - afraid to go to the bathroom - afraid of what i will find.  

DH was actually more understanding than I thought he would be. He offered to come home from work to look after marek and he will be staying home tomorrow to look after the boy while i go for my test.

Trying very hard to take it easy - thankfully marek is being a good little guy and playing nicely on his own.  

Nervous about tomorrow - dont really want to go on my own, but that's life, I guess.

Here we go again

Jan 14, 2012 - 21 comments

Wow life can be funny sometimes.

We tried for 3 years to have Marek.  Now that he is going to be a year old later this month, we decided that maybe we should start trying again since it  took us so long the first time.  Since Marek has been born, we have had sex twice... yes TWICE in the past year.  We bd'd once this past month at a time that I thought would be too early to result in a pregnancy (I think it was CD 8 or 9).  On a whim I picked up some HPTs at the dollar store, and guess what.... after years of trying for Marek and an IUI, we are pregnant on our own after our first try.

To be honest, I'm not quite sure how I feel - I think it's going to take a bit for me to adjust to the idea of having another baby.  I am so shocked - I'm sure once the shock wears off all will be well.  I just HATE the thought of having a baby growing in my body while I have mixed emotions... it's just not fair to the baby.  What if she can feel that mom is having a bit of trouble.  I'm also a little sad that i will be giving up my one on one time with Marek.  I just love him so much and he is such an amazing little boy.  I feel that he deserves more than I will be able to give him.  I'm not sure that I'm that great of a parent with one baby - not sure how I will handle two.

We have had such wonderful family support with Marek... our parents are over all the time to watch Marek. I'm also pretty scared that 2 little ones will be too much for them to handle and everyone will stay away - leaving me on my own while damian works out of town.

I know I am getting way ahead of myself here.... but when that second line appears on the hpt - the next 20 years of life flashes before your eyes and I'm hoping and praying that Im up for the challenge.

DH isnt thrilled right now.  The poor guy didnt get to have sex while I was pg with Marek because I was bleeding.  And since marek was born we have only had sex twice - the second time resulting in a pregnancy.  I guess

Life is so strange.

I remember one of the ladies on here got pg right away after having her first and was complaining about it.  I was SO mad at her... I thought "how dare she come on this forum and complain about being pregnant while I would give my right arm for a baby!"  For the record, I am not complaining - I am just scared, and shocked, and ok - really scared. (and sad for Marek, and sad for the loss of having him as my one and only because he is so darn sweet)

And that is my rant for the day.

g




Next week

Dec 25, 2010 - 3 comments

Well my OB is off until Tuesday.  When he gets back he is going to set me up to have an amnio to determine if the baby's lungs are developed.  If they are, then we will schedule and induction - hopefully after the new year, when im 36 weeks.  I now feel ready to have this child - even though the house is not ready, I've now had a chance to mentally prepare myself.  

I held DH's cousins newborn last night and he wasnt as scary as I thought he would be.  :)  Everything will work out just fine.  I need to learn to roll with the punches instead of fretting about things that I cant control.

The new year is less than a week away!  How exciting!  

Now my biggest worry is the disaster that awaits me at home... shouldnt have gone home to wrap presents.  i had left the house fairly tidy and now it looks like a war-zone.  DH promises to clean it before i come home, but i dunno... it was so messy that i wouldnt even know where to begin to clean.  I guess thats just another one of those things that I cant control.  I better let go of it.  I just hope he finishes the basement walls so i can get the ducts cleaned before we bring baby home.

Well, my breakfast in bed is on its way, so I should sign off.  Merry Christmas!!!!

  

Another update

Dec 16, 2010 - 17 comments

Well, I had yet another bleed last night.  Not quite as bad as the others - ut red blood nonetheless.  The OB checked me cervix today to rule out that there might be a polyp or something on the outside of the cervix causing the bleeding.  There was nothing unusual there, so he feels confident that i have a small tear in my placenta that is causing the bleeding.

On the bright side, he could see that my mucous plug was still intact and even though some of the docs had said that i was 1.5cm dilated, my OB said that my cervix is still firmly closed.

So.... what does this all mean?  It means that I get to hang out here at the hospital for the next 10 days or so.  The doctor says that as long as he feels that the baby is safe inside me that we can just play it by ear.  was chatting with one of the nurses and asked if they would try to rush me out of here, and she said definitely not.  she said that the best place for the baby is inside me a this point, and that until the baby is 36 weeks, they will try to keep him there.

That's it for now... more taking it easy at the hospital... it's kindof like an all inclusive resort - minus the swimming pool and the sunshine!