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Water bugs and Dragonflies, or, 'How to explain death to a child', a parable:

Oct 30, 2009 - 0 comments











explanation of death




new life



-Waterbugs and Dragonflies-

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily, it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.
"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another. "One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you suppose she is going?" Up, up, up it went slowly. Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return. "That's funny!" said one water bug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second water bug. "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third. No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.
Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why." "We promise," they said solemnly.
One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water, and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.
When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings. The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly.
Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by, the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were, scurrying about, just as he had been doing some time before. Then the dragonfly remembered the promise: "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why."
Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water. "I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least I tried, but I can't keep my promise. Even if  I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what happened to me, and where I went."  And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.

~Author Unknown~

a little something I found called, Rules For Being Human:

Oct 30, 2009 - 2 comments












I REALLY Like rules: 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, & 8:

Rules For Being Human:

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error; experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".

4. A LESSON WILL BE REPEATED UNTIL IT IS LEARNED. A lesson will be presented to you over and over again in various forms until you have learned it. Then, and only then, can you go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned. (Every problem you encounter has a gift in its hands for you.)

6. "THERE" is no better than "HERE". When your "THERE" has become your "HERE", you will simply obtain another "THERE" that, again, looks better than your "HERE." (There is no such thing as a 'geographical cure'.)

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. YOU CANNOT LOVE OR HATE ANYTHING ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON UNLESS IT REFLECTS TO YOU SOMETHING YOU LOVE OR HATE ABOUT YOURSELF. Next time you feel the need to judge someone harshly, stop and ask yourself, "Why?".

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You already have all the tools and resources you need; what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. The answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you - all you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

~ Author Unknown ~

October 7, 2009

Oct 07, 2009 - 0 comments
















I've been reading through you, journals, and I sure can see the emotional rollercoaster I'm on. One is happy, the next frustrated. Blah blah. And so on.

Let me think about what's new since I last wrote...Ummm,...Ok, I've inquired about laser spine surgery in Tampa. I feel like I'm going behind my Dr's back on this one. They'll review my last 2 MRIs (if, that is, they don't deem me too young straight out of hand), and discuss with me my options, if any. I'm still waiting to hear a reply. I've been gaining weight since I stopped going to Curves, and it hurts too much to get out and walk. I can barely make it through grocery shopping, but I refuse to use one of those electric carts they have. I'd rather hobble along on my own. The pain meds my PCP prescribed aren't working anymore...did I mention I finally convinced him to switch me from Vicodin to Vicoprofen? I feel it's better for my liver to not be taking 1,000Mg of tylenol a day, but he didn't seem at all concerned about it, and relented to the switch because it was better for my peace of mind. Now I'm taking (in the Vicoprofen) only 400Mg/day of Ibuprofen (vs, like I said, the tylenol in Vicoden). I just want to feel like myself to hunt through the woods for good prospects for walking stick material, able to get down on the ground and use a saw, haul the saplings out of the woods, sit long enough to strip the bark off them...  Iknow, I know, if any of you Voyeur Readers out there have the same hobby but use dead-fall, you're tsk-tsking me for using live saplings. Well, I make mine not only as works of art...smooth and shiny as pool cues with 6 layers of buffed polyurethane, but so people can use them forever and hand them down, and they need to be good strong wood. Not diseased or rotten--what made them deadfall in the firstplace? Hhhmmmm?

Yeah, ok, I've been sitting too long back is screaming at me to stand up and walk around a lil bit. So bye for now, journal. Maybe I'll catch you again soon. BFN

Sept. 24, 09

Sep 24, 2009 - 5 comments

Back pain




ruptured disc









Dear Journal, I'm sorry it's been so long since I wrote in you must have been feeling neglected, and I am sorry. :)

I have been on new meds for about a month now, and it seems like every day I feel happier and more energetic, more 'together' than the previous day. And I am grateful. I've been spending time on Facebook, where I'm new to the networking thing. I only joined cause my dear friend far far away asked repeatedly to join it. There are crazy weird quizzes that are a lot of fun that I complete and send to my friends for them to complete so we can compare the I found out my "trailer park name" is Fayleen, and I'm the envy of all the other trailer park women 'cause I can hold a baby on my hip while smoking a cigarette, talking on the phone, and making the best Frito pie anyone ever layed taste buds on. Haha. Go figure.

About all my back pain and numb left toes, foot, calf, and weak knee are due to 1 ruptured and extruded disc, 1 bulging disc, disc fragments, degenerative disc disease (DDD) for short, and spinal stenosis. Recommendation: pain meds, physical therapy, and time. However, we cannot afford physical therapy due to financial circumstances beyond our control and a crappy Medicare HMO...SCREW YOU, FREEDOM HEALTH!!!  $20 per visit is what my copay is for  specialty office visits: phys. therapy---times 3 times a week @$20 per visit=$60 per week, times 6 weeks=$360! We can barely keep the electric and phone from being shut off, and we're gonna fork out an extra $60 a week for exercise? Uh uh, no way. I was going to Curves for free through my HMO (at least they do that for me), but there's no trainer there, and I kept hurting myself more than I was helping myself.

I asked for surgery: a procedure called a Micro-discectomy to remove the disc fragments (like bone spurs) moving around in there pinching new nerves everyday, and to clip away the extruded material from the ruptured disc. It's a minimally invasive procedure where they make 2 tiny for a lighted magnifying camera, and the other for the laminotomy tool (exactly like the nippers my Dad has in his toolbox, only much smaller). My Dr. said no, but he would refer me to a neurosurgeon if I wanted a second opinion (it would actually be a third opinion). I asked why not? Makes sense to get that migrating material out of there, and his reply was "You're too young, Charlotte". that's the second time I've heard those words, from as many doctors. My PCP in Michigan said the exact thing..."You're too young, Charlotte". I asked, what does my age have to do with getting treatment? And he said, "Because no body wants to disable you this early on in life."

So pain meds are in my future for a good long while, and when I have good days with minimal pain I should more Curves workouts with the resistance machines, just WALK. OK, cool. I love taking long walks in the woods. I hope some pain-free days are coming soon, cause I feel like a slug sitting and lying around the house all the time.

So, that's all you get from me today, journal. I'm done for now. I'll try to not be away so long next time, ok? ok.