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Just an update with TTC

May 28, 2015 - 0 comments







IUI first time

It's been a while since I have posted anything. But...that's because it's been pretty uneventful. We are still trying of course. We go in and out of our stages where I don't do my BBT charting, or I don't take OPK tests. The whole "once you relax it will happen" hasn't worked out for us but I always wonder if I am not “relaxed” or “stress free” enough. I’ve read our bodies know when it’s a hostile environment not suitable for a baby, perhaps that’s right and I need to eliminate more daily stress factors.
We had another appointment with our specialist May 8th. I wanted to go in there guns blazing demanding to know WHY we couldn't get pregnant, I wanted more research to be done. Not just another doctor telling me what we can do to get pregnant with another procedure since she last told us in August that IUI is the next step and to get going on that, but we just weren’t ready to do a procedure like that yet emotionally, I guess I still had hope it could happen naturally or didn’t want to believe otherwise. I have a hard time trusting doctors as it is wanting to know their true intentions, hoping it isn’t just to collect $ and push you onto procedures without figuring out WHY or HOW first.
I was worried with the past procedures I had in 2013 (HSG and MRI), the final reports I took to the specialist the first time we saw one had conflicting information. One showed I had an arcuate uterus and one showed I had a bicornuate uterus. Those are two separate things that mean a huge difference with how big your septum/shape of your uterus is. My specialist didn’t like how conflicting they were so she did her own type of HSG test- where she injected water and did ultrasounds to get a feel and shape of my uterus. Overall she wasn't concerned about my uterus in regards to the shape/septum/scar tissue. So of course when we see her again beginning of May I felt like I still wanted answers. She pulled up the images she had taken last July/August with her HSG test and showed me that my uterus - while it wasn't perfect, it did not have a septum. It was a little misshaped on one side due to my mini laparatomy myomectomy surgery via c-section mid 2013 after our miscarriage and findings of a 10cm fibroid which I wanted removed...but there wasn't a septum to be concerned about. She showed me a little bit of an area towards my left ovary that looked to be scar tissue but not enough to consider going in and removing. I still am contemplating that being our issue, it would make more sense in my head if it were. Actually I WANT that to be the reason so I finally have answers and can move forward with trying to correct the problem. When I asked about PCOS to confirm I didn’t have that, she said my left ovary looked polycystic but I did not fit the PCOS profile. So I crossed that off my list for now. When I had left her office I felt like I was back at square one. Knowing that she wanted to do IUI next and that pretty much was the next best step for us.
So we both say why not, let’s try it. Come August, that’s our plan. Once we have had a couple plus months to get back on a healthier track. Eat better foods that actually can increase fertility. Ditch the cup of coffee or tea I may have daily and cut back on the alcohol. Start working out and dropping a little weight. All of that can only benefit us right? Not to mention the crap tons of vitamins we are taking. I started my husband on fertilaid. He's all for it and being very supportive knowing we need to be a team. I started taking raspberry tea leaves (pill form). Otherwise, it's just positive energy and trying to eliminate stress as much as possible from our daily lives.
The tension and stress alone from TTC hasn't helped. It seems as though the past handful of months my husband and I are on edge and find ourselves arguing…we never fight like this. This is just something that comes along with infertility and definitely something we cannot let tear us apart. It's a work in progress. I'm very grateful and blessed to have such an amazing man by my side. He even started to wear boxers to bed instead of briefs ;) He's trying. I'm trying. It's a struggle daily and I try not to let it control my everyday life.  Hopefully by TRYING to eliminate stress factors, it doesn’t stress me out in doing so…if that makes sense. Mind over Matter. We can get through this together, I know it. For now, we are taking care of ourselves inside and out and most of all, staying hopeful.

Clomid was a flop

Jan 22, 2015 - 0 comments


Well...we can at least say we gave it a shot. I did 3 months of it, and yet my period came once again. At this point, I'm starting to lose hope. It's so frustrating seeing everyone else around me pregnant, even with their 2nd, 3rd, 4th...
Trying to stay positive even when it feels pointless in the baby department.

Just wanted to notate my clomid fail. It didn't work for us. I'm thankful my cycles didn't get jacked up from it though. I'm just wanting to take a break from it all. It's not worth the stress over things we cannot control. It may be time to face the music! I fear I will never be able to have children. Not all hope is lost, but I am definitely trying to prepare myself mentally.

Clomid round 1...FIGHT

Oct 30, 2014 - 0 comments


So, clomid has been sitting in my medicine cabinet since August I believe. Or was it July. Hell I cannot even remember. All I know is I didn't feel ready to start taking it. I wanted to do more research etc. Well here we are, I took the first pill last night on my 5th day of my cycle. No symptoms. I feel fine. Lets hope that continues for the next 4 days that I have to take it. From cycle day 10-20 you are supposed to hump like rabbits (haha) every other day. I am in no way getting my hopes up. I am also not trying to be negative. Therefore I am just sitting in the middle leaving it up to God and at the same time lol. I am not big on taking medication. I never thought I would be in this position to rely on doctors to get what we truly want, or what I feel my body should do on it's own naturally. I am just trying to take deep breaths and enjoy life as it comes at me by making the best out of every situation possible. Life continues with or without you aboard ;)

I will try to post my experience with clomid. I have to go in on the 23rd day of my cyle to get blood work done to see if I ovulated I guess. I'm new to this process so I'm just going with the flow. Fingers are crossed. Guess we shall see.

Period was late, giving false hope! Oh well. Next step...Hormones tested

Sep 25, 2014 - 0 comments

fertility specialist

So...being honest I was trying not to get my hopes up or get too excited when my period decided to be late this cycle. I'm usually on a 28-30 day on average cycle and the last time it was slightly later was April (32 day cycle), prior to that it was December which was like a 34 day cycle or so if I remember correctly. Anyway, I usually spot a day or two prior to my period which lets me know it's on it's way. I went as far as 34 days before I saw even an speckle of it coming. Finally today, cycle day 35 it's here. BUT from cycle day 28-34 I had hope that it was a good sign that I was late...HOPE That I was pregnant. But NOPE. I should know better not to think like that but lets face it, we all can't help but have that kind of hope with something we really want.
I was a little down in the dumps yesterday evening when I finally saw a little bit more confirming YUP it's on it's way. Today was total confirmation. At least today I'm moving on from yesterday and dusting myself off and trying again ;). What else can you do but continue to try to be positive right!?
Well now my next instructions from my fertility specialist is to get my  hormones tested. I was supposed to last cycle but it started the day I went to Rocky Point (lucky me right lol, it always comes when I am going away on a trip or near a body of water hahaha) which put me out of the time frame needed to get my blood work done (Cycle day 2-4 is when they prefer to test hormones). So tomorrow, I can finally get that tested and hopefully cross that off the list of possible reasons we aren't getting pregnant, OR get some answers as to THAT being the possible reasons so we can correct it. Either way, I'm just excited to be able to move forward either way. I have faith God keeps me in good hands regardless of the times I feel things aren't fair. Wishing everyone luck on their journeys!