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checking in!

Jun 28, 2009 - 9 comments

hi there everyone! My internet access is very come and go. More "go" than come.... I "borrow" neigbors...or go to cafe's that have free wifii.

The new job is going amazing! I love it there, the people are very great, the atmosphere calm and I enjoy what i am doing... it is a patient registration job in a large eye doc. clinic.... they can service anywhere from 30 to 350 patients in a day. I am one of three ladies in the front whose job is to get everyone checked in, insurance checked, and all paperwork scanned in and printed out for the doc's and techs in the back. Fun stuff!!

Healthwise, i am managing. Mom and I were joking the one day and I told mum how I just tell everyone and myself that everything is "ok" and how one day I was going to wake up in heaven and still be saying "it's ok everyone, I'm still ok!"....  

Honestly if I sit back and look things over, I'm doing pretty good right now. i'm walking without a cane now, usually safely. I use my AFO's every day and they help me get around pretty normalish, and the other day I realized that I am doing pretty good walking in comparison to 3 or 4 months ago and I'm really thankful for the improvement there. There are other neurological symptoms that are new, and I realize at some point they will need to be checked out but I am doing the whole ostrich with the head in the sand for this moment... I know it's not the healthiest approach.... but you can only scold me if you yourself haven't done this at some point or another! I am going Wednesday for more heart tests to figure out the irregular rythym/high heart rate/ high blood pressure problems and I'm just trying to work on one thing at a time and I decided my heart was the most important thing at the moment.

have a great sunny Sunday!!

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405614 tn?1329144114
by Fluffysmom, Jun 28, 2009
I'm glad that you love your new job; sounds very nice!  I love your positve attitude, and I'm glad that you're doing pretty good now.

Take care of that heart!  Mine has been doing some weird skipping, but my bp and heart rate are fine, so I'm ignoring the little irregularities.  See, no scolding from me!  :o)

I'm enjoying this sunny Sunday, from my airconditioned home, for the most part.

Take care,


559187 tn?1330782856
by Sarahsmom46, Jun 28, 2009

It sounds like you do have this under control and that is a very good place to be.  You have come a LONG WAY BABY!

Are you working full-time at this new job?  It makes a huge difference when you work with nice people in a nice environment.  I know because my last job was so terrible, not the job as much as the lousy low level people I worked with that I was stressed out all the time.  

You are doing so much better, well except the new neurological things you mentioned but didn't specify.  Get them checked out when you feel you are ready. The heart issues are not something you can put off though.  Lulu would have your tail if you did that.  Let us know how the testing comes out.  

I hope you have a good week ahead.  Thanks for checking in and letting us know how you are doing. You are truly missed and loved.  

Stay well,


486038 tn?1300063367
by Sunnytoday, Jun 29, 2009
waving to fluffysmom and julie!!
yes, I'm working fulltime at my new job and loving it!

559187 tn?1330782856
by Sarahsmom46, Jun 29, 2009
The paycheck is probably nice too.  Really, you are working FT?  You really have come a long, long way.  How are your parents doing these days?

572651 tn?1530999357
by Lulu54, Jun 29, 2009
Hi sunny,
You should see the smile on my face that you have prioritized your health to the heart issues..... yeah, you can hear me now!  Your job sounds great - my ENT and Eye doctor both have that kind of setup in front and it has to be a fun, yet sometimes crazy job.  I hope they treat you right and know what a jewel they havei n you.

stay in touch, ok?


728313 tn?1260459629
by Lisa_32, Oct 21, 2009
Hi everyone, I have been trying to find were you all post these journal notes everyday. Why I couldn't get it is behind me ???  I"m very happy to be chatting with others and hearing there story's and one day hope that my story can change or help another family not go through anything we have. I don't want to feel sorry for myself I just want my life back, and to enjoy the kids. I'm missing so much with the kids.hearing from other how they make it life work and move on helps me believe one day it will get better for us. I see my back surgern Dec 7th, I can not wait. After the car accident in February 2009 , my neck and back got worse. I did physio and chyro, massage. ( My life runs off apointments and more) I get fasett joint injections every three months in the L5-S1. But it seems to not even last 3 mths anymore. Ex-rays are not showing anything like what the MIR did April 2008. they told me that I would need surgery for nerves,and i guess the bulge dic, but this is now two Dr's since 2004 that don't want to do it yet. I don't understand that !!!  I was 5 mths pregnant for my second child, my Beautiful Red headed Kaleb,and 8 yr old amazing John now 16, that I 'm missing so much? I can drive them to school and make myself, take them places and stand there and take pictures. But I can't join in. I figure if they know they can fix it, why wait, I', 33 and been living in appointments since 2001 thatI can recover better now then at 43. No matter what I can't make up for these 8 years that we will never be able to relive. I also had two shoulder surgery's and now since last accident my right shoulder on moves when it wants. I have a MIR on Oct 28th, to comfirm an altra sound I had had in Feb thatt should two tears in the right shoulder again. The shoulder surgern Nov 9th. If it wasn't for my my son John helpign out so much I don't know how I would make it. i try to tell him, he needs to consintrate on school and being himself, that he won't get these teenage years back. I thank him so much, but I want him to have his own life. For all of this , these accidents have taken a TOLL on my husband, he lieks to think he's there for us, but i'm afraid to say he's not anymore. I know he tried, but I can't make excuses for him anymore. Last year after teh april accident, that he wasn't in he changed and it didn't help us any. Then he started to get sick, he had headaches really bad which lead to a CT, the rults had to be comfirmed with an MIR. That, they did and with a DVA and white mass on teh front left side of his brian. When the results came in the Dr's sent us to one specialist that didn't even look at teh MIR and sent us out the door. On that day my husband for the first time infront of me admitted to his mood swings and anger. WE then went for a second appinion, which our family Dr didn't agree with this Dr, either that it was just Headaches, that was Oct 08, by January 2009 we were into a Dr for MS. When we ffrist got there the nurse figured they made a mistake and he had a CDA, which I think is stoke. ( We did think that in June that he may of had a mini stoke.) Memory, got worse month after month.The Dr only did a few things, checked heart rate, ect. My husband then admitted to even more mood and anger problems, Blaming all accidents, and everyone and thing around him.( He has been in twice as many accidents as we have, I usually will not drive with him.) His blood preasure was so high that the Dr said you need to take care of that right away.Even being nervus to see him it was to high, take care of the mood swings and if he got worse he would see him after he did that.
After wanting to selibrate, taht he may not have MS, my husband had also said, the Dr's are not understanding teh pain in my head, black outs possibly, hearing , seeing things. Month after month he say gotten worse. Headaches still there momory is worse and he is mostly liek a child. he sleeps all hours, and no matter what I and the kids go through he just sleeps. he will argue he doesn't sleep in then he will sya oh sorry I have no engery.  In March I had to leave him, and in the end aske dhim to more out, becuase we couldn't handle it any more, the drinking the rage ect. No matter what I do for him , calling Dr's getting research he will say we don't help him. he came back in April, sayign I asked, him to come back and why'd I do that to him. he has bounced out morgage and doesn't pay any thing else. I have to remeber everythign we need doen and take care of it. he says the mornage was an accident he forgot, but he's human. He thinks everyone around him is against him and even his kids. day to day is a  challenge. I don't know how much I can do anymore. In Aug he finally went to our family Dr and asked for help. what he said about himself wasn't the nicest. His first appointment was Sept, he didn't talk about it. I had to ask what they said, but he hasn't said much. I know the Physiatrist sent our family Dr. a letter with a dianosis. Adjustment disorder, which if you look it up makes sence a year ago, but not now. It also can lead to schizophrenia if untreated.( that is also what dr's thought 6 months ago.)  I went to our family Dr, this week and told him of the hours in bed. He just said, to me you know he never told the physiatrist everything. I know he hasn't. My father thinks he is saving his sanity and thats why he says he doens't do any of it. Then theres days he's like a child, which is most days  he seems like he doesn't know. But to me that doesn't give you a right to treat your family badly. If you are sick you need to get help. One day ,my husband will say, what if I am sick, you need to be here, the next he will say the Dr's found nothing wrong. He did stop drinking, but his actions don't show that he has, or this sleep pattern. So hard being a wife and not knowing what to do, wanting to help him, but need to save yourself and the children. The Dr says we are not safe. If he does only have this disorder, I can't find anything on where they can't admit to what there actions are or that they won't get help?
Alot of the imformation Dr's have given us, leads to MS, and possably miss dyanosis for the first few years. Or maybe Brian AVA, depression which they though Bipolor, but I guess that is ruled out now. We tried the part were ok, maybe there is nothign worng, but the way we have to live with him isn't normal.  we are just lost and how long are the kids and I suppsoe to convince him he needs help. He thinks kids, people driving, me you name it all against him even the Dr's. our family and friends and employee's. No one will say a word to him, not one person will drive with him.( which I don't blame them , jsut makes it hard him hearing it form him , he thinks all my fault.  I try to tell him why they will not tell him and that most of it they say none of there business, but that they want him to get better. He just thinks it's everyone elses fault. We have a beautiful home, trucks, Trailer he has a business and I 'm afreaid we are going to lose it all. I pray everyday for him to get better, the Dr's say it's up to him now. We have done everything we can, he has to get help. My sister in-law and I are getting really close now, and that is all we have, and one Uncle here. If I didn't have them I don't know how the kids and I would make it. I have tried to get his family involved, but they don't want to do anything, or maybe they don't know what to do? Sad, it is and I know I 'm married to him, but I 'm lost , how to get him to get help?????
Thanks for  listening ears, thanks to our angels watching over us.
I started out , just going to say hi, to the everyone, and now it's 2 hrs later.. Thank you all I needed this.

486038 tn?1300063367
by Sunnytoday, Oct 22, 2009
Sweetie, that's quite a note... I'm not sure where to begin to comment but know you are in my prayers.... and I'm sure you'd get more feedback if you'd post it in your journal.. or better yet, if you'd post it in the main medhelp sections as a post... and try to break it up in paragraphs so it's easier to read. If you want, I can repost it so others will see it.

728313 tn?1260459629
by Lisa_32, Oct 23, 2009
HI Sunnyday ok, I 'm a bit confused, Are you Terry, I don't know why I can't get this figured out. I 'm usally pretty good at this , but for some reason still learning the site. thank you for yoru help, do you mind showing me how you can repost it. Stress seems to make me not be able to think, and i feel little bit silly. cause i should be able to get this... I don't mind if you do it, then where do I look.

your friend Lisa

728313 tn?1260459629
by Lisa_32, Oct 23, 2009
Ok sorry everyone, were is the journal one to post fro everyoen to see, is that this....

Thanks for all your friendship adn help

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